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» Mar 2008 «

Wanking Wednesday - the first b3ta flashwank

At 4pm GMT you must stop whatever trivial task you are doing and put your hands into your pants for a quick bit of fumbling self-pleasure.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:44, Reply)
This could be a better place for

all of the smutty ramblings of bored b3ta workers across the country.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Dark room

This sounds like an excellent way to abuse our dark room. 'In Use'

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:47, Reply)

we time our orgasms for 4.15pm then we could generate enough noise to be heard from space, except in space no one can hear you scream.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:48, Reply)
15 minutes?!


Erm... I mean... "Is that all?"

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:48, Reply)
Thanks for the back up...

I think we mena re far more business like about this sort of thing!

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:49, Reply)
yes, okay, I'll warm up early

and we can have an almighty release at 4.05pm.

*selects appropriate (ha!) Literotica stories*

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:52, Reply)

I'll meet you on my second go...

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:54, Reply)
5 minutes?!



(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Blokes at one minute past the hour, girls at a more leisurely pace.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:58, Reply)
I'm getting excited already

and practising one-handed typing. this has taken five minutes.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:48, Reply)
15 mins?!

I'd better start warming up now!


(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:48, Reply)
For me, EVERY day is Wanking Wednesday!

that's because I'm a wanker
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:53, Reply)
15 minutes!?

Anyone know any good delay tactics

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:53, Reply)
15 minutes?

Are we allowed artificial aids?

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:56, Reply)
Yes, fire ahead.

If my top quality vibrator hadn't broken (I refuse to contemplate that it was overused) then I could probably time mine for 4:00:30pm. Alas, I've yet to replace it.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 13:57, Reply)
At the QOTW Bash

We should have gone shopping - we were just round the corner from a few emporiums of delight.

Mine is knackered too...and my spare one has been lost...ahem...

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:01, Reply)

Oh, the image that that creates...

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:02, Reply)

I recently replaced mine but when i got it home it didn't work.
Had to take it back to the shop and stand there while they checked it over to make sure i hadn't used it first! Urgh! Took me about an hour to go back to my normal colour :(

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:04, Reply)
I used to work in the industry

and I can tell you most are a complete pile of crap, it's worth investing in a quality brand. I can recommend if you like.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:06, Reply)
Please do

recommendations gratefully received :)

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:09, Reply)

What you are looking for for is something that is 100% medical grade silicone, these are soft, hygenic and dishwasher safe!

The best brands to go for are Tantus from the good ole U.S of A who have a massive range, all silicone with vibrating bullets for the power. therefore easily replaced if "worn out".

Fun factory are German and do silicone vibes with a traditional battery compartment and and speed controls. If you are looking for a non insertable toy I would highly recommend the layaspot, 7 functions and a variety of coulours.

try either www.lovehoney.com or www.lolasloveshack.com both are run by lovely people who are completely unseedy!

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:13, Reply)
Silica gel

Last time I found a new brand website (acmejoy) on Google, I bought a remotecontrol vibration toy with silicone. Currently on the way, after waiting for use, I will comment on it again

(, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:55, Reply)

Tell us which one is the best to have!

I found the Rabbit to be somewhat lacking in sturdiness.

*EDIT* Yay for Lovehoney.com!

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:14, Reply)

Is ace. And you get free stuff :)

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:15, Reply)
Layaspot is great

rabbits are always popular, it's really a matter of picking a good one, again funfactory have a number of rabbit style vibes.

Avoid anything that smells (!) that lilo smell is pthalates leaching out. Pthalates are plastercisers used to soften plastic, while not illegal they are banned from childrens toys in Europe. As an aside they are what causes new car smell.

Really the choice is up to you, but if you are feeling adventurous try the rock chick, they go down an absolute storm and are hands free!!

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:19, Reply)

*max-es credit card*

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:20, Reply)

Who is Max and what did you do to him with your credit card?

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 15:01, Reply)
She said "fire ahead"


(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:22, Reply)
I've just thought

Do we click 'I can't make it, sorry' if we get sidetracked at the last moment by kittens? Or soft furnishings?

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:20, Reply)
yeah, they should change it to

"I can't come"

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:21, Reply)
But we already know that you can...


(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:22, Reply)

Fucking pedant!

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:26, Reply)
Mr Enzyme

Quite frankly I'm shocked at what you are suggesting here!

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:27, Reply)
Oh what the hell...

In for a penny, in for a pound...

Good job I've met some of you.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:47, Reply)
Why's that?

So you can picture us all belming at the necessary moment?


(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:48, Reply)


(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:57, Reply)
remember folks


(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:49, Reply)
Very true

We don't want to be responsible for
a) a total overload of the broadband lines in the UK
b) minor revolutions across the globe
c) getting caught by employers/students/responsible adults

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Are we back to the conversation of your video camera?

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:50, Reply)

Lucky I made it back from Site early, I would have hated to have missed this. Now, whats the best way to not look suspicious when you put paper over the window in your door and then lock it?

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:57, Reply)

Just write "In a Meating" on the paper.

With intention spelling error.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 14:58, Reply)

And I thought it was a boring day at work!

*blows on hands*

To the cubicle!

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 15:55, Reply)
Now! Now!

Wank, my pretties, wank!

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 15:59, Reply)

This surely is a phrase that ought to be in more common usage.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:08, Reply)

Happy Wanking Wednesday everyone!

*For auld lang synes*

*doesn't hold hands with the person next to him*

*edit* damn my work clock for being 1 minute fast.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 15:59, Reply)

premature ejaculation when wanking must be the height of embarrassment.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:05, Reply)
I'm just

that good.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:15, Reply)



(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:19, Reply)

who's up for Onanism Thursday?

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:27, Reply)

wanking on consectutive days? Is that even possible?

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 17:09, Reply)

well thats improved my day 100%.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:01, Reply)
Does someone sound a horn / fire a cannon or something

when it's time to stop?

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:11, Reply)
Arm ache

is the only reason you should ever stop.

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:16, Reply)
nearly 4:40...

And I've still got a touch of the leg wobbles...

(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:39, Reply)
Ahh.... That's better.

Anyone else feel a sudden urge for a cheese sarnie, followed by a ten minute snooze?

[apologies for late-startedness]

(, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:24, Reply)

I haven't come too late.

(, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 2:45, Reply)

(, Mon 26 Jan 2015, 12:29, Reply)

» Mar 2008 «