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This is a link post Porn quietly banned today
'While the measures won't stop people from watching whatever genre of porn they desire, as video shot abroad can still be viewed, they do impose severe restrictions on content created in the UK'

Apparently, fisting is life endangering. I'll have to tell 'Spades' to slow down a bit.
 (Spin Its a thing., Tue 2 Dec 2014, 14:59, Reply)
This is a normal post A hard blow for /talk
or not a blow, as it were
 (macroscian (1 like), Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:02, Reply)
This is a normal post Seems right and proper
This kind of thing is highly offensive when performed by actresses speaking the Queen's English. These kind of acts should be the preserve of mucky foreign types.
 (I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:17, Reply)
This is a normal post Dunno what British porn you've been watching...
...but they don't generally speak the Queen's English.
 (eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:37, Reply)
This is a normal post The queen probably speaks just like that when she's being ploughed

(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:58, Reply)
This is a normal post That 's on the other banned list.
The one with the gag order so plebs are not "in the know".
 (smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:26, Reply)
This is a normal post
Don't finger the head when she's in that state and all that.
 (smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:31, Reply)
This is a normal post How female ejaculation is life threatening eludes me.
Are they afraid someone could be drowned down there?
 (Monocromatico Lady Godiva's horse, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 15:26, Reply)
This is a normal post It may go in your eye and obscure your vision, preventing you from responding appropriately to oncoming traffic
Or in tricky moments such as landing.
 (CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:33, Reply)
This is a normal post Notice that they didn't ban male ejaculation
Cunts.
 (hieronymus bosch pcmechanic 4ver in ar harts, goodnite sweet angle, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:37, Reply)
This is a normal post How to be both a moral highgrounder
and a sexist pig.

Problys a bigot too.
 (smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 19:04, Reply)
This is a normal post Well...
there's no medical (or scientific) consensus on what female ejaculation actually is, or if it even exists. The current official thinking is that if any liquid is squirted out then it's actually urine, and since that is already banned in UK porn (at least urinating on someone) it stands to reason they would ban female ejaculation. Of course all the squirters and gushers you see in porn have pumped themselves full of liquid beforehand anyway, so I guess there might legitimately be a medical risk, depending on how that is done.
 (Smale is stuffed, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 19:38, Reply)
This is a normal post I think Mitchell Cobb put it best in the comment section
"blaming this on feminism seems disingenuous to say the least. most of the feminists i've known are downright filthy - proper finger up the arse business and all that"

Damn straight Mitch.
 (felixcoen, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:07, Reply)
This is a normal post fucking dirty feminists
coming over here and making our porn obscene
 (I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:20, Reply)
This is a normal post I don't think those prostitutes were feminists

(Victoria'sBeard Different political view? I hate you!, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:37, Reply)
This is a normal post They were when he paid them extra to be.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:47, Reply)
This is a normal post 'yea baby, burn that bra. Now ask for equal pay. Oooooh yea. Such a dirty girl asking for at least a quarter of MPs be female.'
'Gonna respect your brains out.'
 (Victoria'sBeard Different political view? I hate you!, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 17:37, Reply)
This is a normal post Most English porn is shit already anyway.

(I helped save b3ta! Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:32, Reply)
This is a normal post ah nono, the shit is being removed I think

(macroscian (1 like), Tue 2 Dec 2014, 17:08, Reply)
This is a normal post It's Nutela
I swear guv'
 (smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 19:08, Reply)
This is a normal post the board has banned the following acts from being depicted by British pornography producers:
Facesitting


THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
 (hieronymus bosch pcmechanic 4ver in ar harts, goodnite sweet angle, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:35, Reply)
This is a normal post what if the arse is face-up and the face is face-down?

(benito vaselini no not that one, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:40, Reply)
This is a normal post that's face to arse planting
slightly different, just don't film it upside down as no one would know, possible plausible deniability? Just say the facesitting was face to arse planting filmed upside down to give the illusion of facesitting,
 (I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:53, Reply)
This is a normal post It's good to see the brains trust is already looking for loop holes.

(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 16:54, Reply)
This is a normal post Any hole actually
That is not banned.

The fisting thing is a bit weird.
In the "real world" it's something only a woman does to another woman.
I use to know lesbians in Paris who did it, the description of the "how to" makes changing a head gasket on an early Vtec easy.
THe overall impression is that the person doing it got about as much out of it as the person receiving.

As a side note, in a bar, while we were in a big talk about something else or other, some semi drunk meat head crashed the conversation bragging he had the biggest dick, that lesbians needed a big dick like his, dicks are the best etc.
One of the girls silently thrust her fist in front the jerks face.
twisted it in, out and then slowly opened her fist like a kinda flower.
"As big as this" she asked, Jerk left.
 (smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 19:07, Reply)
This is a normal post I disagree, depends on relative sizes, hand v clunge and how gentle one is.

(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Tue 2 Dec 2014, 20:16, Reply)
This is a normal post I don't have big hands.
And I asked, and compared.
I did not expect an average ladies hand to be so small when the fingers are "peaked".
I imagine they do it for pleasure not a drunken "I can fit this fire extinguisher up my arse with loads of industrial lubricant" challenge for the sake of it that men are into.
That being said, your dike mileage my vary and yes, I've shagged one clunge that your average power lifter could fit their elbow in.
But I've been led to believe that is rare occurrence.
 (smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 22:17, Reply)
This is a normal post 'Penetration by any object "associated with violence"'
What? Like a 'man'?

AM I RITE GURLZ?
 (I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 19:32, Reply)
This is a normal post stop trying to get into their pants

(Victoria'sBeard Different political view? I hate you!, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 19:45, Reply)
This is a normal post that's my weekend blown out of the water then!

(I helped save b3ta! skullbuggery uh huh! kissed a cow!, Tue 2 Dec 2014, 19:57, Reply)