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This is a link post Live 118 118 question/answer feed
Answering such nuggets of wisdom as:

Q: how do you make your mum happy
A: You can make your mom happy by doing what she tells you to do, and by helping her out around the house. thx

Q: I dont like chicken
A: it is okay if you don't like it. You may try fish, it has less cholesterol. thx
(, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:05, Reply)
This is a normal post that's brilliant that
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

A: A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
(, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:12, Reply)
This is a normal post Precisely the same answer..
as the vastly superior AQA gave me several years ago.
(, Tue 18 Nov 2008, 12:17, Reply)
This is a normal post I used to work for AQA.
Claim to fame.
(, Wed 19 Nov 2008, 3:07, Reply)
This is a normal post When a socket is on but with no plug in do you stil use electricity
No, if you want to save the energy you used, you may off all the unused appliences. thx


*snort*
(, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:19, Reply)
This is a normal post Fantastic
Excellent find!
(, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:24, Reply)
This is a normal post This is becoming somewhat addictive
Q: Have you ever drank balies from a shoe
A: If you mean Baileys, no. I've never drank it from a shoe. thx

It's better than BBC3 I tells ya.
(, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:24, Reply)
This is a normal post hahaha
Q: If I was to deshell cockroaches and cover myself in the shells, would I survive a nuclear holocaust?
(, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:28, Reply)
This is a normal post
The 118 Team always wants to impress you, but chooses not to answer questions of such a naughty nature. Sorry
(, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:35, Reply)
This is a normal post Just saw all of these in a short space of time
Q:Will kissing kelly on stage be just too embarrassing
A:Every day we receive a few questions, like yours, we can't answer. thx

Q: What size of bra does jane asher wear
A: No info found. However, Jane Asher, an English film and television actress, was born on April 5, 1946. thx

Q: Where can i go dogging near edinburgh
A: For dogging and swingers in Edinburgh call 09826664102 for information. thx

Q: Do you know where david is
A: We cannot tell yet. We need further information about his: last name, address, interest, job, etc. thx
(, Sun 16 Nov 2008, 23:40, Reply)
This is a normal post I want to go to bed
but can't stop watching and asking.
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 0:15, Reply)
This is a normal post I asked
What colour shirt is Hugh Laurie wearing on the back cover of the season two UK DVD of House

they got it right.

Blue.
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 0:27, Reply)
This is a normal post Q: I ta much
A: You're welcome. Did you know that nasal discharge from Orangutans is used in the manufacture of smoke alarm
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 0:30, Reply)
This is a normal post This is art.

(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 2:06, Reply)
This is a normal post Q: whitch (sic) woman has the largest vagina in the world?
A: Anna Swan from Scotland who lived within 1846-1888. It was measured 2 m & 30 c deep. thx


WTF?! 2 METERS?
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 7:14, Reply)
This is a normal post Think they've got their wires crossed...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Swan

This is the woman. She was 2.27 meters tall...so unless her vagina was only .27 meters shorted than she was...
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 11:31, Reply)
This is a normal post addictivity of the highest order
click....NEWSLETTER THIS NOW!
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 7:20, Reply)
This is a normal post "Over", shurely?

(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 8:29, Reply)
This is a normal post WHaaaaaat >?

(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:33, Reply)
This is a normal post Nice one!
Q. Do I have to get up?

A. Yes, it's Monday morning so you either have to go to work or school. thx
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 9:18, Reply)
This is a normal post Addicting stuff
Q: will a sheep fit into a toaster?
A: yes, if you dissect the sheep and make the bits small enough it will indeed fit into a toaster, thx

Q: do you love gay sex?
A: If you mean happy love making, yes, the 118 Team loves it. thx


Legendary.
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 9:48, Reply)
This is a normal post hahahahah!
Q: That did not answer my question
A: Apologies. Your boyfriend's stiff neck is not a sign that he's pregnant. He is not capable of getting pregnant
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 10:24, Reply)
This is a normal post Oooh, very good...
though some of their answers are even more surreal than the questions:


(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 10:51, Reply)
This is a normal post Q: Did I rape her?
A: 118 Team hopes that you did not. The Sexual Offences Act 2003 state the rape is illegal in the UK. thx


Eep!
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 10:58, Reply)
This is a normal post ha! I can't stop watching...
Q: How many water melons can u fit up a women
A: As many as she can eat. thx
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:12, Reply)
This is a normal post b3tans!

(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 12:25, Reply)
This is a normal post Ah!
What is the trade name of the high-fidelity sound reproduction standard for movie theaters, screening rooms, home theaters, computer speakers, gaming consoles, and car audio systems, which stands for Tomlinson Holman's eXperiment and was developed by Tomlinson Holman at George Lucas's company Lucasfilm in 1983?

THX, thx
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:17, Reply)
This is a normal post Hahaha...WTF?!

(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 13:31, Reply)
This is a normal post Attracted by their unlimted answers for 60p offer
Me and a mate ended up spending a good 2 hours texting them stuff, the best ones being:

Q: How do you make Jenkem?
A: 1 part fecal matter, 3 parts urine, 1 gallon container 2/3 full with a balloon affixed atop it, leave outside.

Q: Do you like sniffing your own farts?
A: No, not really. thx!

Q:Is it considered weird to sift through my own feces?
A: Sifting through your own feces can cause serious infections. thx

Q:I just tried to impress my girlfriend by doing a massive fart and accidentally followed through. What should I do?
A: You should clean yourself up right away and probably start looking for a new girlfriend. thx!

Q:I like to collect my feces in jars, and currently have around 300, what's the market value?
A: There is no market for that unfortunatly, you should dispose of that feces contain bacteria! thx!

Q:I've installed a filter over my houses sewer pipe, and have been collected my families feces. How best to present it to them?
A:Put them in a box and wrap it up with pretty paper and give it to them and say Merry Xmas! thnx!
(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 18:38, Reply)
This is a normal post What is the animal in the world?

(, Mon 17 Nov 2008, 22:53, Reply)