
A duck walks into a bar and says "do you have any crisps?". The bartender replies, "No, we don't". Feeling sad the duck leaves. The next day the duck arrives and asks for crisps again. Sounding mildly annoyed, the bartender replies, "No", raising his voice slightly. Again, the duck leaves saddended. As usual the duck returns the next day and before he asks the bartender shouts "IF YoU ASK FOR CRISPS ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THE FUCKING BAR YOU CUNT!!" The duck leaves. The next day the bartender is relieved, asssuming the duck won't return after being shouted at. Moments later, the duck walks in and asks, "do you have any nails?" and the tender replies "No".
So the duck asks, "Got any crisps?"
( , Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:51, Reply)

Although I can understand the duck's frustration. A lot of bars sell crisps nowadays.
( , Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:52, Reply)

All other duck jokes below, please.
( , Thu 13 Dec 2012, 14:08, Reply)

A duck walks into a pharmacy, and asks for Chapstick. The cashier says, Cash or cheque? and the duck says, Just put it on my bill.
( , Thu 13 Dec 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Put it into a microwave until its Bill Withers.
( , Thu 13 Dec 2012, 15:06, Reply)