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On a school trip, a boy in my brother's class crapped himself down a Dutch mine, writes Richard mcbeef off the Internet. The teachers tried to blame the smell on sulphur but the truth came out when they left the mine, as the boy was wearing chinos with massive dark brown streaks running down the back of his legs.

Do you have a funny story of your own?

(, Thu 18 Jun 2015, 12:30)
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And since we're on the subject of shit...
I used to be in a sub aqua club, which has long since disbanded through general apathy and stupid politics. I used to look forward to Thursday evenings, where I could get dressed in rubber and stick hoses in my gob for an hour, before retiring to the bar for a good debriefing.

The missus used to work in a special needs unit of a school at the time, and Thursdays were also 'take the specials swimming day'. For which they used the same pool as me and my fellow neoprene enthusiasts used for training purposes. One Thursday afternoon I got an email from her.

"Is the dive club meeting tonight?"

I responded in the affirmative.

"Oh. Well in that case you'd better contact as many people as you can and let them know that the pool has had to be drained, and it won't be ready to use again until Monday at least."

Turned out one of the more disabled kids had shat himself quite spectacularly, and even his swim nappy couldn't contain the resultant effluent that had proceeded to spread itself around. I think the school was banned from using the facilities as a result.

We just went to the pub instead.

Good toimes.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 19:18, 8 replies)
I don't want to call you a liar.
But it's my understanding that pool procedure for hobbies is 'fish it out if it's solid enough to get picked up by a net and shock the pool with chlorine'.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 21:34, closed)
Nope,
The pool was closed for days. It was council run and the staff probably wanted a few days off anyway. So nerr!
(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 22:17, closed)
If it'd been solid enough to pick up in a net,
I doubt it'd have escaped a swim nappy.
(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 22:28, closed)
Squits.

(, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 23:12, closed)
hmm, must have been quite a spell of diarrhea
Usually if someone poos, they effectively net it out.

Used to work in an Autistic centre, pooing in the pool was a weekly event.
(, Sat 20 Jun 2015, 8:21, closed)
Whoever kept timetabling it should have been sacked.

(, Sun 21 Jun 2015, 10:59, closed)
Clickin dis!

(, Sun 21 Jun 2015, 22:59, closed)
LOL spastics.
I'm surprised he hasn't already been here, this post seems like a slow ball for him to whack out of the stadium with his massive peen.
(, Sun 21 Jun 2015, 23:18, closed)

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