Abusing freebiesA friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.
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lizard, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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She stole my weary heartWhen I was a lad, a girl of 12 stole my lad sized heart with a superb game she had invented. Let me start at the beginning.
She was a fairly plain looking girl with fiery red hair, piercing blue eyes, metal spindlefingers and a heart as black as coal.
She was Mo Mowlam.
She was Sting.
We could talk to each other about anything, sex, drugs, spindlefinger. You name it, it was on the cards.
One day we were playing said game, it was called 'wheeltrim catching'. one of you would stand at one end of the park, the other at the other end and then, without warning whom so ever was holding the acquired wheel trim would launch it at the other brother and other said brother would attempt to pluck it from the hardened sky.
The yoghurty duck pond was shimmering in the twilight.
One day I threw said wheeltrim at my earnest companion, she attempted to catch the thing but alas it was never seen again.
"F**& you, you F&*&ing stupid wheeltrim!" she screamed. "F&*& you and your F&8ing deadbeat friends with their pathetic little lives! I've got the fingers now!" She cried "I've got the F&*&ing Fingers and you've got C&*t all you snivelling little b^%$ards!"
I left immediately, trolleys around my ankles making a dash for the sanctuary of home.
I set up camp in at the base of some iron steps and waited until morning.
I gingerly tiptoed out of my den and realised that she had gone.
All that was left was me and the body of the girl I'd raped and murded to keep myself busy in the night.
I turned to her.
"Well I never!" I raised a quizzical eyebrow. "That's the worst case of abusing Frisbee’s I’ve ever seen!"
We laughed and laughed and laughed.
She has no eyes now. We dance to circus music in the dark.
Sometimes I cry on what's left of her.
(, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 18:40, 4 replies)
Jindod? Stusut?Are we seeing a b3ta renaissance?
(, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 19:08, closed)
wtf?are you smoking crack?
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 21:00,
closed)
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