This isn't funny at all
but my boyfriend of a month told me last night that he's addicted to heroin. Which was a nice surprise.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 14:52, 19 replies)

Surprise!
Wow, that's some surprise!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 15:02, closed)

Yep
and just in time for Christmas!
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 15:05, closed)

He's obviously just hinting
at what he wants for Christmas
( electric_goat, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 15:11, closed)

pffffffff
and some more pfffffffffffffff
(Super Oaf Petit filous?, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 22:01, closed)

DTMFA
Run, Run screaming if you have to!

Dump the mother fucker already! Do it now.

Get yourself checked out with a blood test, harsh I know, but if he's shooting up he is so fucking high risk for all sorts of nastyness.

How anyone can sleep with someone without telling their partner that they are a in a serious high risk group is beyond me, even using a condom is not 100% safe. He needs a serious kicking for that alone.

If you stay with him he'll drag you down to the gutter and beyond with him. Fact.

Good luck
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 15:41, closed)

Done
Thanks for the advice, but he doesn't inject and I have already been for blood tests. All clear.

Really, though, thanks for caring enough to tell me to do so :)
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 15:49, closed)

So glad to hear
That your clear.

Only 1 in 4 make it out of serious addiction. Thats not a good statistic to have in mind when you commit to someone you have known for a month!

I do wish him well though having been through the same a while ago, and a very greatful member of the "one in fours" club,... but really, run !
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 17:59, closed)

.
I know. He's not far in (a couple of months that he classes as an actual problem as opposed to occasional social use) and he's detoxing from tomorrow so I'm going to give him a chance. Just the one, because I have very little self-control and it is hence a terrible idea for me to be around hard drugs, but I kind of respect him being honest with me and all because I genuinely would never have guessed in a million years.

We'll see. Thanks again for caring.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 18:07, closed)

coming from a former heroin coinoisseur
everyone starts shooting up eventually.

Seriously, it just gets to a point where smoking or snorting it just doesn't do it for you, or you have to take unfeasible amounts to get high. It becomes very clear that you can save tons of product by shooting it instead.

I wish you luck!
(little fawn, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 22:44, closed)

I am well aware of this
He has one chance to kick it and I'm out of there.

Thanks for the luck :)
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 11:08, closed)

Be careful
Heroine turns the nicest of people in to shit bags.

Getting clean is a hard, difficult and exhausting process to guide someone through. It wont be easy, but it can be done. If the addiction is serious, the best place may be Rehab.

Be very careful, addiction can over come even the most precious of relationships. Some times your love is not enough to help them.

Good luck and hugs.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 18:42, closed)

.
Thank you my darling, hugs accepted with a great deal of appreciation. My flatmates are all away and I really need hugs today. The only person around to give them to me being the boy in question, who I have just been to visit and furnished with peppermint tea and Berocca and DVDs and lots of other nice soothing things on the offchance that they might make him fractionally more comfortable over the hellish time he's got coming up.

The thing that makes it difficult is that, save for his dealer and one friend who has left the country permanently, I am the only person who knows. Which is so strange when I'm around friends he's had for years who live and work with him and yet have no idea.

At the moment I'm just confused, going from accepting and supportive last night to conviction that I would have to break up with him immediately this morning, to just being a bit sad this evening. I think I've decided to support him for the time being, as long as it doesn't start to impact too heavily on me.

Curiously enough, talking to strangers on the internet is helping so much.

Thank you all for listening :)
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 19:11, closed)

Well good luck and be careful.
feel free to drop me a pm if you ever want to let off steam.

I was in a relationship with a substance addict for a few years and I can empathise with how it feels.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 19:21, closed)

word of advice
if he doesn't stop, leave.

it'll be for the best for both of you as a) you'll be out of there and you don't deserve to suffer for it and b) it might give him the kick up the arse that he needs.

Good luck with it, and happy christmas :)
(MrChimp previously Monsieur, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 23:45, closed)

.
I fully intend to. I have no other possible option.

I really appreciate everyone's words of advice and good luck on here, I think I need as much of both as I can get and it's so good to have people to talk to about it.

Thank you :)
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 11:10, closed)

That's kind of like me.
Except instead of heroin, it's Vimto. Both will tear you apart though.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 16:43, closed)

I thought
it was love that did that.
(dxg, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 22:27, closed)

My un-asked for advice
Is, once he's declared himself "clean", to get some form of home drug testing kit. Once clean, he'll promise you that it will never happen again. Tell him that you won't see him if he reverts back, and that the proof of that needs to be his willingness to be "tested" by you as and when you see fit, and for any fail in the test to be met by your relationship ending.
Addictions turn people into liars. He needs to know that you won't tolerate it, and that trust on its own isn't enough.
It might sound hard, but especially if you fear that you might end up sharing his habit, you have to protect yourself.
Think of what might be happening this time next year. In an ideal world, he is clean, you are happy together. In a nightmare world, you share his addiction and the contents of where you live have been snorted / injected. Only one thing is going to stop that from happening - you. And TRUST IS NOT ENOUGH.

Sorry, hope that is helpful advice rather than blanket condemnation. All the best.
( I_Was_Mordred, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 10:12, closed)

.
Do you know, that hadn't actually occurred to me and it sounds like a good idea. I think at the moment I'm not thinking that far ahead, to the stage where he even claims to be clean, because at the back of my mind, horrible as it sounds, I'm kind of resigned to thinking that he probably won't kick it first time and I'll probably have to get out of there for my own sake because I am way too susceptible to getting involved with things I shouldn't and have very little willpower.

Thank you so much for the advice.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 11:14, closed)