does anyone else?
just not find lolcats funny?
(ladyintheradiator, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 13:51, 91 replies)

Eh!
It's the only sure-fire thing that can make my frown turn upside down.
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 13:53, closed)

dont now what lolcats are
but do they actually laugh out loud?
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:24, closed)

I love the lolcats.
*rides away on her invisible bike*
( Maladicta, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:29, closed)

Hur Hur
We IZ on teh internetz not makin U laff!

sorry
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:31, closed)

@al
I was about to post a story about you, with the punchline, 'and that was anime al's A tract'.

But I can't be arsed. :D
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:34, closed)

I'll imagine it instead
*imagines story*

Hmmmm, good begining

*gets to punchline*

AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!11111elevenelevenLOLZLOLZ!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bert, that was easily the funniest thing I have ever read. I'm concerned that life is no longer worth living as there is no possibility that anything could top that punchline. I may have to claw out my own eyes, preferring a life of eternal darkness to one where everything I see isn't as good as that story.

/may have taken it too far
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:37, closed)

Your reply was funnier than the story!
I shall also scratch out my own eyes, as the story I nearly wrote contained the words, 'al sat in the background, his arse cheeks splayed to the wind...'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:40, closed)

^^
yeah, so I like to sit around naked. Your point is?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:44, closed)

@al
one word - webcam ....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:46, closed)

Oh no, al
I didn't mean 'sit' as in sit on your backside, I meant down on all fours, your anus winking at the camera.

@TWW we all like a joke now and then, goats, monkeys and any kind of sick, depraved fetish you can think of. But al IS MINE and mine alone.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:49, closed)

Personally I prefer
LOLMINGES!!111


( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:51, closed)

I love your lolminge chickenlady
*scratches*

*sniffs*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:53, closed)

@Bert
now that's just selfish - share the luuuuurve, boys!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:54, closed)

@ Bert
watch out for the safety devices hidden in it.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:54, closed)

@TWW
But our relationship is special, it's just me and al, occasionally Kaol, a goat and a monkey too. But that's all!

@chickenlady Safety devices...? -I'm trembling at the thought.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:57, closed)

@Bert
okay then, I get the hint. Some blokes can't stand a bit of competition, eh?

*goes off to sit alone in the corner, weeping softly*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 14:59, closed)

Competition?
Pur-leez, me and my army of goats and monkeys satisfy al in ways you never could.

We might be able to squeeze you in somewhere though.. are you a giver or a receiver?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:00, closed)

@Bert
well it depends on what's being given (or received). Then again, enough of Ye Olde French Falling-Down Water and I can be game for pretty much anything ..... but not the animals, okay? I do draw the line there!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:03, closed)

Damn.
That's a crying shame, I was going to say we could squeeze you in, either with your crotch on al's face and a goat in yours, or two monkeys DP-ing you, while Kaol and I take turns in your mouth.

(I really feel like I've crossed some lines here, sorry!)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:05, closed)

@Bert
don't worry, we're all one big happy family ....

*makes note to track Bert down and send the boys round*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:07, closed)

Wahey!
Then I'll have al, Kaol, the goats, the monkeys and some boys..! Yay!

It's a good job I didn't mention that al's into the wolf-bagging then.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:08, closed)

Yes indeed you have Bert
It was all so civilised and above board until you put the picture of two monkeys DPing The Wee Witch into my mind.

There there TWW, Bert thinks I'm all for him, but I'm happy to play away.

And don't bother sending the boys round. They'll only get a shock.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:09, closed)

Wolf bagging
never heard of that one.

*makes note to send the boys round in their best underwear*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:10, closed)

al....!?
*feigns surprise at his infidelity*

*secretly hopes he can join in*

@TWW I'll leave al to explain that one.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:10, closed)

@ Bert
Safety devices...

Man trap.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:14, closed)

@Bert & al
oooo, I smell trouble in paradise ...

*stirs cauldron furiously*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:14, closed)

Christ chickenlady!
You sure know how to make a man rapidly cross his legs, wince and then begin crying like a fairy.

@TWW al and I are solid, we don't sweat the small stuff and we're probably the most open, successful relationship on b3ta.

*reads what he just typed*
*can't even tell if he's joking anymore*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:17, closed)

@Bert
stay calm ... help is available ...

call 0800 I-Am-An-Internet-Perv and talk to someone who's paid to care...

*sorry*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:19, closed)

@ Bert
Every lolminge features a man trap....it traps men....


In a nice way*



*may be lies
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:19, closed)

I'm begining to reconsider
my suggestion of a QOTW meet up if Bert's going to be there!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:21, closed)

oh and wolfbagging
is the practice of feeding a women a piece of bacon with string tied to it, doing your best Jim Morrison impression (he's your back door man baby) and on the vinegar strokes pulling the string to encourage regurgitation of your last meal to make your sphincter quiver like Bert's knees in a navy bar.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:23, closed)

I'm sorry
I can't help it, my brain doesn't know where the boundaries lie, I've been here for too long.

@chickenlady -would these man traps of which you speak happen to be extremely well toned pelvic floor muscles by any chance?

*EDIT* 'Bert's knees in a Navy bar' -classic.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:25, closed)

@al
er..... thanks .... I think

*feels dirty*

*goes off for a shower*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:25, closed)

@TWW
See? This is what happens when you mess with us, and now you'll never talk to us again...
:'C
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:27, closed)

Dammit
I think I suffer from the same problem as you Bert. Just because a woman asks what wolfbagging is doesn't mean she actually wants to know what wolfbagging is. I really should remember that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:28, closed)

I will be sad
if she stops talking to us.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:29, closed)

@Bert and althegeordie
Nah - I've heard worse (believe it or not). I've been married to a builder for faaaar too long to be easily offended. (Mind you, if I was easily offended, could there be a site more wrong for me?)
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:29, closed)

*muffled sounds*
_{help... Lemme out... I'm stuck in a man trap...}
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:31, closed)

@PJM
You'd REALLY better not just be saying that.

@al and TWW maybe would pretend wolf-bagging was something else, some kind of rescue team that saves kittens from wolves perhaps?

'Got 'im!' -that kind of thing.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:32, closed)

@PJM
you're in biiiiig trouble when a certain lady lays hands on you

@Bert yes, please. Thinking of kittens makes my happy
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:33, closed)

I bet he loves it
when a certain lady lays her hands on him
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:36, closed)

Heeheeheeheehee
*Throws away key to mantrap
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:37, closed)

They're both too busy
with the rumpy-pump to reply.

I'm sure neither one of them minds, in fact we should all couple up now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:38, closed)

*Whipcrack*
_{mmmmmmm-MMMMMM-mmmmmm}
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:38, closed)

*couples up*
*but in the darkness is unsure with whom he is coupling*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:40, closed)

You two posted just to spoil my reply!
But chickenlady, laughing during the act is one of the worst things you can do, as are;

Calling out his brother's name.
Calling out his father's name.
Calling out his dog's name.
Calling out your brother's name.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:40, closed)

@Bert
what, right now? And besides, we can't, honey, it's Wednesday and perilously close to 4pm. You know what that means ........
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:40, closed)

@ PJM
I thought you were supposed to be working?

Hmm?

@ Bert

I wonder if everyone coupling up is a wise move...it may lead to jealousy over the monkey and goat usage. PJM and I bicker endlessly over the goat. Not the cock though.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:40, closed)

count me in
for a spot of coupling. Once I save up enough tokens to send away for my free lolminge.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:41, closed)

PJM always gets the cock? -lucky bastard.


But CHCB, they contain MAN TRAPS.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:42, closed)

exactly, Bert -
I trap 'em, behead 'em and mount 'em on the wall above the fireplace.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:44, closed)

You're my kind of woman
Crazy and sadistic.
:)
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:46, closed)

Careful CHCB
any talk of mounting is likely to set Bert & al off again ..
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:46, closed)

@ CHCB
SSSSHHHHH!!!!!!

Don't let them know that we're a crack band of lolminge ninjas modelled on the RAF during the Battle of Britain.


Oh. Bugger. Oops.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:47, closed)

Chickenlady
but without the handlebar moustaches, I trust?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:48, closed)

Hooray
for WWII lolminjas!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:48, closed)

@ TWW
Only on special occasions do we wear the moustaches.

And as a woman you're welcome to join our small crack band.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:50, closed)

Pffft.
Crack.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:50, closed)

Chickenlady
*goes off to shave, whistling*

Thanks, best offer I've had all day.

*resets mantrap*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:51, closed)

on topic
no, lolcats aren't funny unless they're being abused. Much like real cats.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 15:57, closed)

GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*spluffs on shoes*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:00, closed)

WTF?
....what's a lolcat?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:00, closed)

Sorry
maybe we could just cuddle?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:00, closed)

@al
yeah, like I've never heard that line before!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:02, closed)

presumably because your so damned hot
that guys can't help themselves.

or alternatively you only pick up very desperate men like me and Bert
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:03, closed)

@al
I refuse to answer that - on the grounds that I may well incriminate myself ....

@Bert: This www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://mintyferret.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/lolcat7.gif&imgrefurl=http://mintyferret.com/photoshop/lolcat-tutorial/&h=104&w=125&sz=87&tbnid=fj_tS71oGmUJ:&tbnh=104&tbnw=125&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlolcat&hl=en&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=1&ct=image&cd=1
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:05, closed)

I'm not desperate!
I resent the implication!

I just have very low standards.

EDIT @TWW I'm sorely disappointed that that link contained NO PORN WHATSOEVER.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:05, closed)

@Bert
I am so, so sorry. Despite my best efforts, I can't always lower the tone.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:07, closed)

@TWW
that's al's job anyway, I don't mind.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:09, closed)

wooo - 70 replies
and lolcats mentioned maybe half a dozen times. Not bad, not bad.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:17, closed)

Actually
I was just going to say, we've done it again, turned a fairly pants initial quote into and thread that makes rather good reading, and includes chickenlady's excellent lominge (much better than my attempts)
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:19, closed)

This is just what we do
We find posts that would otherwise be unexciting or a little uninteresting and we liven them up!

Hooray for alBert!

*EDIT* and chickenlady, PJM, CHCB and TWW
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:20, closed)

*Brushes luxuriant lolminge
*Counts 'kills' on mantlepiece
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:21, closed)

"Liven them up"?????
that, sir, has qualified you for the "Understatement of the Century Contest", finals to be held in London in 2099, date TBC.

Don't miss it now!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:23, closed)

Sorry!
By liven them up, what I really meant was, 'drag them through a cess pit filled with goat carcasses, monkey condoms, man traps, lolminges and al'.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:32, closed)

Aaaaah, I love you Bert
I always get my own special mention in amongst all the other foul and degrading things.

And you made me a princess.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:33, closed)

@Bert
You made al a princess? If I get the wool, will you make me a prince?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:36, closed)

@TWW
You're daft! He means in the story I wrote, he was princess alerella and I was The Brave Knight Sir Monkeysex.

Read it in my profile. And click 'I like this'. Now.
Before it's too late!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:39, closed)

@ Bert
Yes, before it's too late and the Langoliers get you!

Oh, no, sorry. Not the Langoliers. That would just be silly.

Beware of the Lolminjas!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:41, closed)

It's ok chickenlady
I'm prepared for whatever you all throw at me.

KIIIIIAAAAAIII!!!!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:44, closed)

@Bert
I'd already clicked it, and it won't let me click it again!

With hindsight, I'm glad you left wolfbagging out of that one!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:48, closed)

Thank you Witchy!
You're too kind.

Admit it, you're into wolf-bagging, it's ok, you don't have to be ashamed, we're all like-minded individuals here. I'll gladly make you vomit as I come.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:52, closed)

You see Bert
Before you said that, that was good natured acceptable humour. Afterwards, that's you going too far.

Bear that in mind, and make sure you do it next time too.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:56, closed)

*fingers bum*
*eats poo*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:59, closed)

Al
You're a bad influence on the clearly impressionable Bert.

*shakes head*

*sniggers*

EDIT Stop that Bert or I shall be forced to smack you again. Or not. Whichever is most effective.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 16:59, closed)

Yeah al!
I'm only ickle!

@chickenlady please spank me, please, I'm begging you.

*fingers bum*
*eats poo*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:03, closed)

Honestly!
I leave you alone for a wee while, and mayhem reigns. You're worse than children.

Never mind making me vomit during sex, I nearly regurgitated my soup then.

*swallows*

*awaits flood of innuendo on soup or swallowing*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:06, closed)

hur hur hur
"flood" "innuendo" hur hur hur
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:08, closed)

Right
have a nice evening everyone, I'm going home to make chilli. Try not to flood everywhere TWW. Try not to eat too much poo Bert, you'll spoil your dinner. Try not to be too naked chickenlady, and definitely don't post any pics of you "working" or anything, that would be terrible.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:09, closed)

Bye al!
Bye al, love you, bye!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:10, closed)

*considers looking for appropriate photos*
*stops considering*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 17:11, closed)