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This is a question Annoying Partners

As a recent divorcee, it would be churlish to reveal what annoys me the most about my ex, apart from that unfortunate business with the crinkle-cut beetroot which tipped us over the edge. So, what winds you up about your significant other? If you have no partner, tell us about workmates. If you have no workmates, improvise with an annoying tramp

(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 14:47)
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Penny for them
I've had two girlfriends who would occasionally ask 'What are you thinking?'. It's one of those questions which is almost impossible to answer sensibly, and it's really girl-shorthand for 'we need to talk'. I could rarely anwer with the truth, which is mostly something like 'Phwoarr look at her tits', or 'Who would win a fight between a sheep and a dinosaur'. But then as they told me, I'm very shallow.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 16:28, 18 replies)
Being asked that
completely breaks the fantastic train of thought your brain had made whilst you were staring off into the middle distance. I hate it when my missus does that.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 16:32, closed)
See Ed Byrne for details.
"You really want to know what I was thinking?"


"I was thinking that that tree over there would make an ideal drop box for secret documents if I was a spy, as it commands excellent visibility, but provides adequate cover ... "
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 16:42, closed)
Not just me that does that then?!
I play a lot of Xbox in my spare time so can sometimes be thinking about a particular part of a challenging game when i get asked this. I tell the truth and i must be lying, i lie and i must be lying. Either way im blamed for fantasising about one of her mates, the checkout girl, or some random woman in the street.

Now i just say something like "Doing your mum up the wrong'un" or "Your mum drenched in man sauce" and that throws her off the scent.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 16:46, closed)

It depends on whether the sheep was allowed to carry weapons or not. And the size/ferocity of the dinosaur.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 17:00, closed)
My husband stares off into space a lot
looking all intellectual and clever and such, so I'll often ask him what he's thinking. It's not a trick or shorthand for anything, just curiosity as to what's got him so fascinated. Sometimes it's his latest thoughts on theoretical physics. . .and sometimes it's this episode of He-Man he saw as a kid and I don't happen to remember the name of [character who looked like whatever], do I?
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 17:23, closed)
Also, why is "nothing" not a valid answer?
I spend stupid amounts of time worrying about everything from whether that blood in the sink this morning means I have gum disease, lung cancer, or both to the effect of the terror attacks on the culture in Oslo to how to tackle a task at work using Powershell. However, when sitting on the sofa or in a bar with my girlfriend I'm not thinking, I'm just experiencing -- apparently I *must* be thinking *something*.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 17:42, closed)
if my bloke told me he'd been thinking who'd wuin in a fight between a sheep and a dinosaur, it'd end up in a conversation about which kind of dinosaur could possibly be beaten by a sheep.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 17:50, closed)
You're right
should have said sheep and a rabbit
(, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 9:18, closed)
About the same size as a rabbit. Any mean and/or determined sheep could 'ave it.
(, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 12:05, closed)
Depends on the dinosaur. Lots of dinosaurs were small, so it's not cut and dried.
Also, what's the scale? Say, one year starting from July on a Scottish hillside the dinosaur's going to freeze to death by October what with being cold-blooded.

Too many variables, and therefore definitely worth pondering and fleshing out.
Not like "Who would win between a shark and a lion on the moon?". Which is simple(The Lion.).
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 18:51, closed)
Or indeed a tuna and a lion.
And i'll bet that won't turn out the way you think!
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 23:56, closed)
Either way,
it would end in a sandwich.

Mmmmm... Lion sandwich.
(, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 12:06, closed)
The answer:
I'm thinking. If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I'd be talking.

Do not expound.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 20:08, closed)
The sheep has already won
It's outlived the dinosaur by 65 millions years or so.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 20:18, closed)
But in the end all life on the planet dies, so it's a hollow pointless victory really.

(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 20:30, closed)
But then...
How does one measure the victory of one species over another? Such a nihilist!
My partner asks this all the time too, and even if I give him a particularly profound answer like 'I'm considering the physical impossibilities of invisibility in a real-world application' he just goes 'oh...'
I think he wants me to say I'm thinking how much I dearly love him. Oh well, he can keep trying.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2011, 23:11, closed)
When asked this just the other day...
I (truthfully) replied:

"I was wondering whether it would be better to paint monkeys purple or yellow"

(Paint as in using a roller - not a watercolour jobby). Oh, and I came to the conclusion after many minutes of consideration that purple monkeys are FAR cooler...
(, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 11:58, closed)
Clearly purple monkeys
Then you can put them in/on or near a dishwasher so that it all makes sense.
(, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 19:09, closed)

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