The 8:51 to the Little Red House.
I'd just come off a night shift, knackered as hell, and wanted nothing more than to get into bed and shun the sunlight for another day, before getting up at sundown, donning my cape... sorry, that's my imaginary double life. I really work in IT and it was just another night of movies and X Box. Not a bad life, but you can get a little bored after 6 months.

Anyways, back to the train. I'd had a Subway the night before, and I was feeling bloated. Very bloated. And the train was packed full of the usual morning commuters- schoolkids, businessmen, the odd squaddie. All looking dead-eyed with anticipation of the day ahead. However, it was about to become worse. Much, much worse. The Subway had had a severely deleterious effect on my guts. And the pressure was building- nothing for it but to silently release Satan's breath from my by now tighly puckered brown barking spider. And fuck me, it was bad. It was like all hell had broken loose- people clambering over each other to avoid the stench of my fetid arse. Well, what's a man to do?

Fain abject disgust and clamber with them. Whilst merrily farting away, of course.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 14 Jan 2010, 13:49, 3 replies)

woof
brown barking spider! haha not heard that one before. Clicky!
(Fishbone-didi, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 18:45, closed)

=CLAPS=
edit: =and clicks= :D
(fearsome mumbler is shit at telling stories, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 19:32, closed)

Nice one
I'm glad you farted 'merrily' instead of maliciously. This makes your story a win, good shot!
(HarvsPenzance was tired and confused at, Sat 16 Jan 2010, 0:49, closed)