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Have you got a problem you think the rest of the B3ta collective can solve? Are you an idiot? Tell B3ta and we'll help you out. Probably. BE FLUFFY.

Question from bangthedrum

(, Thu 30 May 2013, 15:27)
Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

This question is now closed.

do you really want to hurt me?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)
who's that girl?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)
why does my heart feel so bad?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:12, 2 replies)
who let the dogs out?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:12, Reply)
How many feathers has a purdue chicken?
and while im at it, what does 'Touche et Lele Pu' mean?
(, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:08, Reply)
why does it hurt so bad?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:51, 1 reply)
If you ate one chip a minute
how long do you think you could you keep going?
And which condiment (if any) would you use?
(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:39, 2 replies)
How many fibres are intertwined in a Shredded Wheat biscuit?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:37, Reply)
What is love for?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:32, 3 replies)
One that's been bugging me.
Do the nontrivial zeros of the Riemann zeta function all have real part 1/2? Yahoo answers was not helpful.
(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:31, 2 replies)
Pint?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:30, 1 reply)
Why is hair growing where it wasn't before and my voice getting deeper?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:25, 3 replies)
What was the business case for the Edinburgh Trams Project?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:17, 7 replies)
Are these my trousers?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:15, 1 reply)
why does inflammable mean flammable?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:03, 2 replies)
Where's your head at?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:55, Reply)
My problem is - I've always wanted to cop a feel off of Angelina Jolie. And now, I can't, obviously. So I wrote a poem about it....
I really wanted to get my hands
On Angelina Jolie’s mammary glands
I just want her organs of lactation
She had ‘em chopped off in a tit operation.
They’re really good, I’m not a cynic
I went through the bins at the Hollywood clinic
It’s for the best now, she supposes
I hunt for the puppies with their little pink noses
My search is thorough, i don’t use haste
Trawling through skips of medical waste
I couldn’t find them - fancy that!
Just bags of liposuction fat
That smelled so rank i lost my humours
And just found bin bags full of tumours
But then I ran right out of patience
I couldn’t find A.J.’s amputations
I threw some tantrums and some fits
Just where were Angelina Jolie’s tits?
So ploughing on, ignored my cautions
Unearthed a vat of late term abortions
And tons of cocks - a huge consignment
From loads of gender realignment
I’ll never find them here, i bet
So logged my phone on the internet
I looked online - and was I glad!
I found her tits on a CraigsList ad!
I skipped around like a ballerina
I’ll buy the milk-churns of Angelina!
Just like the quest for the grail, so holy,
So close now to the knockers of Jolie!
Damn horny - my cock started dripping
But they didn’t do international shipping
That’s crap, that’s shit, that’s total cobblers
I’ll never get my hands on A.J.’s wobblers.
(, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:47, 6 replies)
how many times has the batmobile caught a flat?
BOOM
(, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:45, Reply)
why won't you all just stay about from my bins?

(, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:40, Reply)
I'm developing an Openbook habit.
I can't stop looking at the dregs of humanity displaying their interesting spelling, ignorance, hatred and misanthropic thoughts and pictures for all the world to see :-(
Almost to a man (or woman) they seem to have decided that to paint themselves in the best light they must take a reflection picture of themselves in the bathroom mirror, shirtless and with underwear on display, the nonchalant hand down the front of jeans if male and pouting if female or unsure of gender. The iphone must obscure at least 20% of the subject, which is encouraging but not quite enough. Guns are a bonus and threats to shoot other people a must.

It's actually worse than here, which is quite an achievement.

So if anyone knows of something cheerier to wean me off this I'd very much appreciate it.
(, Fri 31 May 2013, 1:48, 3 replies)
For the ladies.
If i asked you to sleep with me , would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?
(, Fri 31 May 2013, 1:36, 3 replies)
Aside from Battered
who won the poll in "That thread"?
(, Thu 30 May 2013, 23:59, 6 replies)
Was there any reason not to call your mate a "Spino" during the late seventies ?

(, Thu 30 May 2013, 23:33, 10 replies)
I made myself a milkshake...
...and all of a sudden, my yard was full of boys!

Explain that with your precious science!
(, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:59, 3 replies)
Why do birds suddenly appear?
Every time you are near?
(, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:41, 9 replies)
What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?

(, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:23, 5 replies)
Are there any secret pages on B3ta?
Is there one for emergency broadcasts?
(, Thu 30 May 2013, 21:01, 1 reply)
Did you threaten to overrule Derek Lewis?

(, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:51, Reply)
By means of demonstration
A few months back I was going through tough times - family bereavements, serious work bullshit bollocks, and an almighty slump into depression. Being off work I was required to stay at home, and ended up on b3ta a lot, especially QOTW. I have to say the feedback I got from some b3tans was exactly what I needed - exchanging experiences and receiving excellent advice anonymously, with great generosity, and unselfishly given, restored my faith in humanity.

My deepest thanks and respect:

Curtainsnotclutches

Professor Kenny Martin

Ubergeekian

username failed moderation

ringofyre

Drimble

social hand grenade

Windy Pig

Ken Oath

the other guy

Finster
(, Thu 30 May 2013, 20:20, 14 replies)

This question is now closed.

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