Sending this to Badger.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 18:09, 1 reply)

where is the fail?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 19:52, closed)

It's about sexual activity
presented in a positive light.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 20:13, closed)

An inveterate wanker who finds sex unfulfilling?
Yep. It's like somebody took the entry for "positive" out of the dictionary and wrote it in lasers on the face of the fucking moon.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 21:48, closed)

Better than being terrified to touch her own foo-foo
because it's dirty and unclean and shameful.

Also, I bet you give yourself better handjobs than any woman can. Except my mum, obviously.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 21:57, closed)

Quite so.
The world is entirely black and white and there is no middle ground between being petrified of your own twat and spending hours on end stuffing plastic friends up it.

You're right about your mum though. I think it's the calluses from scrubbing all those pub toilets.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 23:01, closed)

There is actually
It's called 'recovering Catholic'.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 10:36, closed)

Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 12:07, closed)

It's not a language as such
more a use of whatever language it's being performed in.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:11, closed)

I can't read it without imagining a similar thing being written by a man
and how fucking creepy that would be.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 20:20, closed)

Rewrite it as a bloke and post it to see if it garners the same number of slobbery white knights.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:24, closed)

Coming up
One overly earnest paean to my obsession with touching my own genitals, using various inanimate objects to expand my fundament, and how I eschew human relationships in favour of this behaviour.

Will the ladies come running? I'd give it 50/50.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 11:41, closed)

Fucking this.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:27, closed)