A great trick to get lots of lasagne
My sister makes a FANTASTIC lasagne. I mean - seriously - her lasagne would have Joey Tribiani and Garfield 69ing for even a glimpse at it.

I discovered that this fact can be used to one's advantage: mention this to a girl you've recently started going out with, preferably after a particularly mutually satisfactory bout of physical love.

The response will invariably be to the effect of "Ah, but you haven't tried MY lasagne."

Played right, ie, to afterwards compliment her skills, but to mention that, well ... its still not quite there, one can get through several lasagnes before they catch on, by which time it's pretty well time to move the relationship onto the final level anyway and dump them.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:28, 15 replies)

You should see my lasagne - its bloody awful. Never understood the fascination with pasta.
(Freakmandu, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:39, closed)

Same. Fucking rubbish. Poor peoples food.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:44, closed)

You are Filippo Marinetti
AICMFP
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 14:04, closed)

What if their lasagne is crap?
But, perhaps, they make a wicked pizza, goulash, steak, whatever... ?
Also, if you're thinking about your sister after making love you may want to book an appearance on Jeremy Kyle...
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:47, closed)

But, like bad sex,
Bad lasagne is still lasagne...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 31 May 2011, 21:59, closed)

have you tried shagging your sister's lasagne yet?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 31 May 2011, 19:04, closed)

Why not simply learn how to make lasagne?
It'll take about three minutes and you can spend the rest of the night trying to find a woman who isn't vapid and needy.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 31 May 2011, 20:10, closed)

But lasagne should be cared for, it should be teased,
it should have time taken over it, with careful attention to detail.

It shouldnt all be over in 3 mins.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 31 May 2011, 22:02, closed)

Sadly it seems
many of Shambles culinary conquests remain unsatisfied.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 31 May 2011, 22:33, closed)

Tis true, it's his many unfulfilled dinner guests I feel most sorry for.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 31 May 2011, 22:49, closed)

I've heard it's mainly because of this, he rarely has the same guest twice.

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 13:49, closed)

Which one of those simple words and phrases caused you difficulty?
Let's assume you're in the remedial reading class and make it ten minutes to learn how to make lasagne. That leaves you another ten minutes to lose your virginity in the ragu before nursie takes you back to the crayons and play-do.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:19, closed)

I guess if your dinner guests have never had a good lasagne,
they'll settle for you making one in even 10 minutes.

I think 10 mins in, I'd still be plumping up the tomatoes.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 13:47, closed)

Duh, it's like, play-'doh'. I totally saw it at naptime and ate some behind a book.

( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 14:25, closed)

Cunning as a cunning thing. *clicks*
(The Dreaded Lurgi ravished your village and burned your women on, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:32, closed)