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This is a question Biggest opportunity I've blown

Not Alan Partridge tells us: "I was once offered the chance to co-present a programme on national radio. Audience of millions, but blew up spectacularly, my entire contribution being the rustling of paper in the background. I was that bad, I have since burned my copy of the pilot show." Tell us about your big break, and how you messed it up.

(, Thu 3 Apr 2014, 14:22)
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Internet dating pioneer
It was about 1997 and the internet was a wonderful place full of discovery and geocities with 33k modems and Yahoo was our master.
Being around 17 at the time I was not old enough to goto pubs and this new virtual world was a great place to escape to and that is when I discovered Yahoo chat rooms. It was innocent times and being able to talk to someone in real time who was hundreds of miles away was new to us all. I would talk to anyone who would talk back (when I wasn't harassing the Christians) and one day I met her. She was called Kim and from Belgium. We just clicked instantly. I was fighting the feelings for ages which I knew were there as it was online and how stupid was that eh? Finding love online was something no one had ever thought of before and didn't want to scare her away by sounding crazy.
I remember the moment. I was sitting on a bench outside a super drug with some college friends when it all came together. I loved that girl more than anything even though I only had one pic of her which took a hour to download! One evening before I could say anything she beat me to it and confessed love for me! From there on we would spend as much time talking online as we could and everything was going to work out.

Anyway to wrap it up, I never met her as I worried what people would think of me going all the way to meet up with someone online. She was the love of my life and I missed the chance big. Fast forward a few years and people proudly announce they met online while it is fast becoming the norm.
I am confident we would have met, married and be living happily ever after by now had I not been such a scared little goon. After realising I blew it I fell into a deep depression for years to come.


Sorry for length with no pun or hulk hogan related joke but you know, B3TA has helped me! Maybe next week I will lighten up?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 0:24, 18 replies)
You probably dodged a bullet.
Most relationships don't end well, most relationships started as a young age certainly don't and long-distance relationships are practically doomed by definition.
Though I may just be saying that because I went for it not that long ago and it turned out to be a massive waste of time, energy and money.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 7:17, closed)
lol fat virgin

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 7:58, closed)
You definitely dodged a bullet.
She was from Belgium for fuck's sake.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 8:41, closed)
the picture 'of her' was probably
years out of date before excessive chocolate & craft beer consumption caused massive weight gain & eczema that made her face look like an orang-utan's
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 9:22, closed)
alright Psychochomp, it's been four years, time to let it go

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 9:33, closed)

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 20:11, closed)
Kim from Belgium?
I know her. Believe me, you're well out of it.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:16, closed)
Chances are Kim was a fat paedo trucker who'd stolen someone else's photos.
You avoided being raped and buried somewhere in a forest in Europe.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:19, closed)
also: lol povvo modem

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:35, closed)
I met her
She was big and black and had a face like Camilla Parker Bowles
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 15:10, closed)
Did she have a sister?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 16:08, closed)
Did she have a brother called Jeremy?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 16:21, closed)
Kim Dotcom.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 16:28, closed)
I was going to pubs at 17, were you some kind of cherub-faced teenage baby?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 16:52, closed)
If you'd have gone you'd only have wound up being arseraped by a burly bloke, you know.
EVERYONE knows there's no girls on the internet.
And Belgium only has two things, chocolates and paedos. And they're only good at chocolate to lure the children with.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 20:10, closed)
Best left well alone
She was more than likely a 500 lb Phillipino man.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 23:30, closed)

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