These are all true. Honest
The first recording of the human voice was of Thomas Edison in 1877. However, contrary to popular belief, the first words ever recorded were not "Mary had a little lamb", they were, in fact "I bet this fucking thing doesn't work"

If you read the small print at the bottom of the "Declaration of Independence" you'll find the statement "Does not apply to Tuesdays, Thursdays and Bank Holidays"

George W. Bush once ordered his bodyguards to shoot him in the head should there be an assassination attempt against him

"Pissing into the mouth of a sleeping tramp” is considered a hangable offence in the Republic of Ireland

At the geographic centre of Asia there is a replica of Stonehenge created entirely from old Ladas

Hummingbirds are the only birds that can fly backwards, apart from ostriches if you hit them with a speeding van

London Zoo is home to Felicity, the only captive Gorilla in the world that can play the theme from "Johnny Briggs" on a trombone

Gene Hackman has a bionic forehead.

Until 1968, the frosting on "Kellogg's Frosties" was made from asbestos

One in three Egyptians are called Simon.

The King of Denmark owns the movie rights to the Mr Men books

Neil Armstrong's first words on the moon were actually "Oooh, I expected it to be all sticky."
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 14:56, 7 replies)

pissing in the mouth of a sleeping tramp in Ireland
That's almost like pissing in the mouth of a sleeping Irishman isn't it?
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 15:19, closed)

Assuming..
the tramp is Irish, then yes, it's exactly the same as.

What's your point?
(Kyzia was here on, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 22:21, closed)

Actually
it's Gene Hackman's foreskin that's bionic, but apart from that I am ready to verify all your other claims.
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 15:32, closed)

Neil Armstrong's first words on the moon were actually "Oooh, I expected it to be all sticky."
If this is not true, it should be!
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 16:02, closed)

his first words were actually
"Where's the fucking cheese?"
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 17:43, closed)

Wasn't there..
Some comment on his urine bottle breaking, or are they having me on?
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 23:01, closed)

We'd better pay-and-display..
... those fucking traffic wardens get everywhere.

That would be my choice, should I ever happen to be stepping out onto a previously unexplored celestial body.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 12:04, closed)