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This is a question Bullshit and Bullshitters

We've had questions about lies and liars in the past, but this time we're asking about the sort of fantasist who constantly claims they've got a helicopter in the garden or was "second onto the balcony at the Iranian Embassy siege". Tell us about the cobblers you've been told, or the complete lies you've come out with.

Thanks to dozer for the suggestion

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55)
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Twenty five years ago I worked with a little fat fella called Pete.
As a youth, he told me, he used to swim to school up the Thames.

Once, he went to see his beloved Chelsea play and every one of their goalies was injured. Pete leaned into the dugout, told them he played in goal for a pub team and he was pretty good and he got the gig!

He was digging in his garden and he hit something hard. He dug around it, digging ever deeper and wider - you'll never guess what? A Mini Cooper, buried in his garden! He got the door open and the keys were in it - started first time.

His daughter trapped her finger in the chain of a swing, blood everywhere, it was practically hanging off. Pete hastily bound it with electrical tape and rushed her to A&E. After a few minutes a doctor rushed into the waiting room demanding to know who had bound the girl's finger? Fearing he'd made a terrible mistake Pete confessed it was him.
"Well done, said the doc, "that's the best emergency binding I've ever seen. In fact, we're just going to leave it on.".

I loved working with Pete.
(twattybanjo, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:41, 7 replies)
I liked it better the first time

(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:43, closed)
Are you sure this is true?
I've heard it somewhere before...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:45, closed)
whoa
i've heard of deja vu but this is taking it a step too far
(sennik85 hiding from the world, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:57, closed)
Oh for Pete's sake?!
2 Pete's?
He was cloned?
Double bullshit?
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:01, closed)
Pete sounds ace.
A mini-cooper with the keys still in it - started first time - fucking genius.

I can't wait for the next stag do I go on.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:02, closed)
In fact, we're just going to leave it on
very good
(I helped save b3ta! Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:06, closed)
whoa
i've heard of deja vu but this is taking it a step too far
(HarvsPenzance was tired and confused at, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 23:47, closed)

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