Will you all just fucking listen yourselves?
The way some of you prattle on makes me think you go around talking like a Pathé News narrator. Yes, I understand that a lot of people need some, if not more, educating over grammar rules. Very widespread in the UK is the use of sat when sitting should be used. Otis Redding did not sing "sat on the dock of the bay". The Beatles did not sing "Oooh, when I saw her stood there". I was appalled when my daughter's English teacher said sat instead of sitting at a parents' evening. She wasn't best part pleased when I corrected her either. Saying 'can I' when you mean 'may I'. My first teacher at primary school drummed that one into us

The same goes for the rules of punctuation. A bit of extra word power wouldn't go amiss either. There's no excuse for it. Well actually there is. A culture of dumbing down over the last couple of decades has meant that people are becoming teachers without a decent grasp of language. They pass on their bad habits and then the media and businesses feel the need to dumb down to cater for these people.

My grammar is far from perfect. My problem is I'll post on here and then have to do ninja edits to correct stuff, mainly tenses; the narrative switches from past to present and back again.

Ninja edits? You mean you actually put on the garb and thrown shurikens at the keyboard? (This is the sort of pettiness I see on here)

However, this is all well and good, but some of you are forgetting how rich the English language actually is. Forgetting the good selection of dialects and regional variations that exist. All the idioms, metaphors, euphemisms, semantics and metaphysical conceits; without which poetry would be nothing.

The English language (like all others) is evolving. It always has and it always will. If it didn't, we'd still be talking like Chaucer, or something even more arcane. All of you language snobs need to STFU and accept that.

Complaining about bad English is fair. Rules are there for a reason. But those rules are there to be built upon. Complaining about new English and you need twatting, preferably with something blunt and heavy.

And if you complain about the splitting the infinitive, I will hunt you down, armed with my pliers to painfully pull your lips off.

p.s. leverage can be a verb much like table (table a meeting).

Edit: Oh, and spelling. Learn to spell. and learn the difference between someone's bad spelling and a typo.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:24, 12 replies)

lol, wut?
(notice I used the "u" for the proper British spelling.)
( Allisade would love to hear from you, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:26, closed)

I don't like ya.
But goddamnit I respect ya.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:28, closed)

This.
I don't understand why anyone complains about using 'text' or 'grep' or the like as a verb. It fits nicely.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:34, closed)

texting
'short message service missive' is a bit cumbersome.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:36, closed)

hmmm
arcane [ɑːˈkeɪn]
adj
requiring secret knowledge to be understood; mysterious; esoteric
[from Latin arcānus secret, hidden, from arcēre to shut up, keep safe]
arcanely adv
arcaneness n

archaic [ɑːˈkeɪɪk]
adj
1. belonging to or characteristic of a much earlier period; ancient
2. out of date; antiquated an archaic prison system
3. (Linguistics) (of idiom, vocabulary, etc.) characteristic of an earlier period of a language and not in ordinary use
[from French archaïque, from Greek arkhaïkos, from arkhaios ancient, from arkhē beginning, from arkhein to begin]
archaically adv
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:34, closed)

would you not say
Old English from 7 or 8 centuries ago is now very esoteric?

"understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:39, closed)

I would, but there's nothing secret about Middle English*, I learnt it at school.
If I'd had to join a cult to learn it, it would be arcane - as it is, it's merely archaic.

Incidentally, I remember you posting the sitting/sat one before and it's one I've stopped myself doing since. Thanks for that :)

*Chaucer wrote in Middle English, not Old English. That was before his time. I hate my pedantry sometimes.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 21:38, closed)

perhaps it was a typo
and slva meant old English (lolz).
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:51, closed)

God knows how you'd react if you heard
the way my mate and I sometimes communicate in our own personal pidgin English - a combination of word associations and distorted vowels.
For example, the phrase no problem became knee problem which then became bursitis

Me: "I'll be there about 8"
Him: "Bursitis"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:44, closed)

Haha, I like that.

( Bob Todd whee, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:54, closed)

It gets even more convoluted.
What are you doing tonight? becomes Witter ye doon, Thai newt? or later Witter "you're doomed!" to newts
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 18:17, closed)

STFU?
Eurgh, how ghastly.

*Runs around in small circles, with the back of one wrist pressed against the forehead and waving a handkerchief camply with the other hand*
(Cave Duck, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:44, closed)

go over to /Offtopic
it's littered with MTFU
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 18:13, closed)

Is that you mom?

( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 18:24, closed)

"leverage can be a verb"?
Leverage is something you have, not something you do.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 18:55, closed)

...
I suspect that the correct plural of 'shuriken' would be 'shuriken'...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 19:02, closed)

"She wasn't best part pleased"
is a form I've never seen before. Is it a local thing?
( Fronds are waving gently on, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 14:08, closed)