I am an abject failure at dating
The last time I went on a date was 18 months ago. It was a hook up through a normal dating site.

We were meeting for lunch. I got in my trusty and rusty 1971 campervan and drove to the date (so I wouldn't get pissed and make an arse of myself). On the journey I heard a loud bang but thought I'd just hit a pothole, or a badger.

When I got to there, I parked the van and looked at the now smoking engine (remember kids, the engine's at the back so didn't see it til I stopped). I decided to leave it and go to the date anyway.

I meet this man for lunch, chatted a bit - he's quite nice, bit sexy. I try flirting - end up looking like a desperate housewife. Date ends and he says he'll call me - but by now I know that I am rubbish at first dates - I can't get the hang of them. I go back to my van.

By the time I've called the breakdown truck, it's clear that my broken belt has caused my valves to drop and imbed themselves in my piston heads. Damage - dead engine, approx £1500.

Most expensive date ever.

He never called. I didn't even get a shag. My van is still on bricks in my garage cos I'm too skint to fix it.

And I haven't had a date since because I've now found out that men in their 40s are either completely insane or married, or gay. Sigh.

I need to break my dry spell soon...


*looks for b3ta dating site*
*wanks*
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 11:28, 12 replies)

I would offer
But I am not 40.... Plus I am not a free agent
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 12:15, closed)

I would also offer...
but I'm sadly not a mechanic. Although an engine transplant isn't all that impossible with a VW, mate of mine recons them for a living, he says Golf II engines are the best.
(hengushrh is found at the Dole office every second thursday, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 12:33, closed)

Most men in their forties tend to be looking for women in their thirties.
That's been my experience anyway and they're boring farts too.
( girlinthehole, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 16:35, closed)

Well
I'm in my 40s, not married and not gay.

3 out of 4 isn't too bad is it ?
(bluetuba has a special friend in Blue Label Smirnoff, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 16:43, closed)

well hellooooo!
*flutters eyelashes*

what more could a girl need?
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 18:02, closed)

Hi
er, do you come here often ?
(bluetuba has a special friend in Blue Label Smirnoff, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 9:02, closed)

I know just the man
He's 46, married, a lunatic, and has just come out. I'm hoping all those qualities cancel each other out.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 20:08, closed)

Do I know you?
Campervan, age, and circumstances fit someone I know who lives in Tadcaster, works in Leeds, initials CE? It's a wild guess, but stranger things happen.

I'm late 40's, married, kids, dog, bees, so can't help in other ways.

Good luck with b3ta dating.
( Varmint, Sat 12 Dec 2009, 22:25, closed)

Wha-hey!
Having recently joined the "In their 40's" club, I can confirm that I am not married, nor have ever been, and am most certainly not gay. I'm not completely insane, only a little.

Oh, and I'm so easy to take advantage of, I'll shag on a first date given the slightest opportunity.

You want to stop dating blokes who are afraid of spanners (um, that's the tools for loosening nuts and bolts, not a personal insult), get the Haynes manual out, keep the tea and chocolate hobnobs coming and your van will be a lot cheaper to fix. Stripping the engine must be half the cost of that. Thinking about it, a re-con engine can't be that expensive either. VW's are like Land Rovers in that there's an army of knowledgable tinkerers out there who love getting stuck into old engines like yours (oo-er, that sounds dodgy). Use your charms, have you got big tits?

At the very least you can drag someone away from the engine into the back of the camper to "test the bed".
Jesus, I dunno what's wrong with some men these days, a woman in need of a shag is a criminal state of affairs.
(Rsoles, Sun 13 Dec 2009, 12:56, closed)

Didn't somebody suggest a b3ta dating site about a year ago?
Whatever came of that?

(36, West Yorkshire, own hair and teeth).
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 11:30, closed)

it might have been me
it's been a slow couple of years....

it has to be better than /talk
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Mon 14 Dec 2009, 15:33, closed)

£1500
Seems a bit on the steep considering you should only needs a set of pistons, recon heads and gaskets.
(Sickpup, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 21:46, closed)