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This is a question Christmas Tales

Deskbound says: "We found my nan's false teeth under the table a few hours after we'd finished Christmas lunch. The teeth still had a mouthful of food in them." Share your Crimble-related stories.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:09)
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As I was brought up a Jehovahs witness, my Christmas anecdotes are :-
1. Spam and cream crackers for Christmas dinner.
2. No presents.
3. Listening to all the kids back at school talking about and showing all the stuff they got.
4. Sitting on my own in the library while the nativity play was on.
5. Dealing with the smell of religious fervour (similar to a cattle yard)
6. Having my nan read me the bible and then asking questions.
7. No Christmas telly.

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 14:58, 19 replies)
We have a winner!

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:02, closed)

winner whiner
(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 19:38, closed)
did you not try hiding behind the sofa and pretending to be out?

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:08, closed)
best reply ever

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:13, closed)
Congratulations on avoiding the crass commercialism that passes for Christmas.
Did your parents never learn to cook?
(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:12, closed)
8. dying of septicemia on boxing day

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:31, closed)
Wait. That wasn't you. That was a JW girl I knew at school.
Top chrimbo lulz for the mental religious extremists.
(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:33, closed)
And I bet the parents didn't get jailed or owt.

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:51, closed)
poor old paul middleton
and his skin disease and his mental parents. HAPPY FUCKMAS, DUDE XX
(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 15:38, closed)
were the Jehovahs witness's tight bastards as well as religious zelots?
Spam and Crackers for any dinner is a bit grim, you could of had a nice roast to celebrate not having to spunk £100's of pounds on presents no one wants and to kids who think that a fat bastard with a drink problem has given them a new 3DS XL not you and your hard earned cash.

It's like a vegetarian saying as I don't eat meat so I'll suck on this car tyre instead

Edit..just noticed your sig that was my sig for ages till someone called me a dyslexic twat
(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:19, closed)
Some girls like the taste of rubber.

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:20, closed)
Is that what your Mum told you?

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:27, closed)

she just likes cock
(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 16:29, closed)
I wish I'd known that before I covered mine in strawberry jam.

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 17:43, closed)
The rubbers were because she got fed up of having to scrape all the jam out of herself afterwards.

(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 19:49, closed)
Oh man.
Have I been at the wrong end, again?
(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 20:52, closed)
I am failing to see how you can blame god for your parent's religions poor interpretation of
biblical text.
(, Fri 20 Dec 2013, 20:56, closed)
God is to blame for everything, you horrible heretic.

(, Sat 21 Dec 2013, 8:44, closed)
Old Joke
Anyone out there remember The Lada, the car made in Russia?
Q:What's the difference between a Jehovah's Witness and a Lada?
A: You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness.
(, Sat 28 Dec 2013, 10:05, closed)

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