Nightshade from Gladiators
Came to my mum's 40th birthday party. She's also slightly matey with Steve Redgrave.

Also, my great uncle once got stuck in a lift with Ieuan Evans (Welsh Rugby number 14 in the nineties) for about ten minutes. Apparently he's a cunt.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:22, Reply)

I've seen Kate Middleton's...
...ah. As you were.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:22, Reply)

Sat next to Kate Lonergan (of Maid Marian and Her Merry Men fame) on the train from Manchester to London
She shared the haul of booze she'd just bought from M&S with me and we talked about that awesome show the whole way. Best train journey ever.

She signed the book on pirates I was reading for me (complete with arrow doodle) and gave me a kiss goodbye. I think it was meant for my cheek, but weirdly ended up on my chops after some awkward head movements. Not that I'd complain, had a massive crush on her when I was in school.
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:21, 3 replies)

Mr. Bronson off Grange Hill got me by the ear
It was Michael Sheard at some sort of sci-fi convention, and he was pissed up with a can of Special Brew in his other hand, but I still got a photo of it. Fucking legend.

That and I met the mad janitor bloke off "Take Hart", Mr.Bennett.

Beat that!
(CharminglyShallow incarcerated for a crime he probably did commit., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:20, 3 replies)

first
wankers
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Ginger Cake Refusal
I took Rod Stewart a pavlova when simply red played at a winery I was working at. He didn't want it, so I ate it instead. Oh, and I sat on Frank Bruno's knee at the Blackpool olympics - the only thing my mum had for him to sign was an opened envelope (which I think she still has!)
***edit - Blackpool Illuminations! Nearly weed on readback!
(The Admiral's Chair Providing suggestive seating since, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:16, Reply)

I nearly ran that there David Beckham over sometime around 2002.
He'd gone and done some injury to his foot and the country was on tenterhooks as to whether he would be fit to play in some World Cup game. Something to do with him kicking a ball around a bit in front of a load of overweight people who also dressed up like footballers whilst waving scarves around and singing racist and homophobic songs.

On one of the rare occasions where there wasn't much rush hour traffic in Alderley edge, probably school holidays, I had to slam on the brakes for this beanie hatted muppet who leapt out of his fancy Bentley and hobbled across the road with his leg in a cast, Probably to get a copy of Razzle or some Rizlas for his wife.

I gave him a blast of me horn and a curse and when he turned to wave an apology I realised it was only Beckham himself. Makes me wonder if I'd have hit him and put him out of the ball playing game whether I'd have had to go into hiding for a few months. Or years.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Said hello to Kate Moss
She was walking near Oxford street surrounded by burly guys in badly fitting suits. Had no idea who she was (I realised later) - just knew that I knew her face so assumed she was someone I knew.

She ignored me and her presumable bodyguards / minders / door-openers glared at me
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Jo Brand's brother once called me a twat.
He was my GCSE physics teacher, and he scrawled "twat" in the margin of a test paper when I got a question wrong.
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:13, 5 replies)

I once made a roll up for
and then kissed on the lips ...Grace Jones
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:13, 3 replies)

I used to run a vintage clothes shop
Jimmy Carr came in one day and asked how much a shirt was. I told him it was £15 and he put it back on the rail and politely left.

Penny pinching cunt.
(CasuallyObscene, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:13, Reply)

After a Comedy Store thing I
Asked Tony Hawks to sign my fridge, looked like a twat because I thought that this was original and then looked like an even bigger twat when of course I didn't have it with me.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:12, Reply)

My brother shagged Prince Harry's ex - Chelsea/Chesney something?

( zulu eh?, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:10, 3 replies)

Ollie Reed once bought me a half pint
admittedly he bought a round for everyone at the bar but I knew it was really me he had in mind when he offered.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)

I met William Roach once. Ken Barlow from Coronation Street.
He shook my hand and said "Hello".
Then he signed an old lady's scarf.
The whole memory keeps me warm on cold nights.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Daytime TV whore
I've appeared on Fifteen to One and Ready Steady Cook. Actually in front of the camera and not in the audience.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)

I had a 'starring' role in Bergerac
Episode 8 I seem to recall, the one with the Luftwaffe pilot in it.

Years later John Nettles' black labrador would attack my pet rabbit. Never forgive, never forget!
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:07, 2 replies)

I called Chris Evens a wanker by accident
because I hadn't realised he was standing behind me, and that had been the reason his name had popped up into conversation
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:07, 1 reply)

My car, the attention whore
I've got a blue Nissan Micra. SHUT UP. When I bought the thing out of sheer empty-pocketed desperation, I had to wait for a week to pick it up (and got a discount) because "a production company is using it to film an advert".

Oh, that's nice.

Imagine my surprise, then, to see it several weeks later in this here advertisement for Specsavers.

Yes, I've got That Granny Car.

No, the stereo isn't that loud.

And yes, it failed the MOT the following year because the suspension was fucked. Also, the dead granny tied up in the boot.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:06, Reply)

I got interviewed by Jonathan Edwards on the television before the Great North Run
Despite the fact he thought I was someone else.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:05, 2 replies)

I went to junior school with Ben Shepherd, but can't remember him

(cs1ca, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:05, 1 reply)

I taught Mike Gatting's mum to surf

(LetsGetDownToIt, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:04, 3 replies)

David Miliband ran into me one morning rush hour at Camden Town trying to catch a train
and apologised
( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:04, Reply)

pure shite.
Sue from 'Mel and sue' kissed me on the cheek once.. And I saw Edwina Curry in a pub in Redhill.
(bangthedrum, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:03, Reply)

David Attenborough once told me a book he was holding had been rebound in the thirties

( Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Cherie Blair
Do you remember the time Cherie Blair got caught without a ticket on the Thameslink? She only had Euros on her or something.

I walked past her that day at the ticket machine as she was fumbling in her hand bag. If she had only asked, I could have refused to lend her the money!
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)

My dad used to think he went to the same school as Cliff Richard.
"He's must have been a couple of years above than me. I don't remember him." Then one day he found out it was a different school with the same name.
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)

My friend once made Ian Botham a sandwich.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:57, 2 replies)

I barged past Jack Osbourne on my way to the bar at a climbing festival...
and called his minion a pedo when he had a go at me.
( zulu eh?, Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)

I posted first one time.

( Pig Bodine., Thu 20 Sep 2012, 15:52, Reply)