I honestly don't know what class I fit into
On the one hand, I had an alcoholic stepfather who beat me, ending up in care as a total fuckup at the age of 14, having first attempted suicide at the age of about 8. I've been on benefits most of my life due to the fact that my education was utterly fucked over by aforementioned childhood, having to make do with a spectacularly low income and live in some extremely dodgy places. I'm now permanently signed off work because my health is utterly fucked, so not much chance of getting off benefits any time soon. I live in a one room flat with a dodgy landlord, and when my kids come to stay (divorced, of course) one sleeps on a z-bed, one on the sofa and one on a mattress on the floor.

I got snaffled up by a very culty church in my teens and spent a lot of years thinking Jesus was the best thing since.. well Jehovah I suppose. The only good thing about that is it got me off the enormous quantity of MASSIVE DRUGS I was into beforehand, which I am convinced would have resulted in an early death otherwise. All pointing to being very working class I'd say.

On the other hand, Both my mother and father's family are extremely middle class, verging on upper class. My Parents met at Camberwell art college.

On my father's side, some distant rellie was the archbishop of Capetown, another was Brahms's muse and the first to sing most of his music. My cousin's godfather was Gerry Anderson, and my aunt had a fling with the Dalai Llama's PA.
My Father lives in Hong Kong, and my Grandmother lived in Paris and had an MBA.

On my Mother's side, my Uncle wrote the Penguin Book of Fishing, which was illustrated by my Mum. In fact both uncles on that side are published authors (Uncle Bob's first book was one of the first warnings about the environmental impact of western civilisation, back in 1980) and we're all descended from Charles Lamb - he of the rather shite 'Tales From Shakespeare'and other trite crap. Once when my uncle phoned me, my ex thought it was someone doing a silly posh voice.

My children are all spectacularly intelligent. My youngest is going away to a school for kids who are amazing at maths in September. My daughter loves sailing and plans to spend most of her life at sea, and my eldest wants to be a medical researcher or something like that.

I own a yacht piano and I've just bought a beaureu. I have something in the region of 500 books, and I actually genuinely read them. I have a tendency to wear corduroy. I love art, have a few pieces of original art around my flat (OK so it's all by my family and friends but it's still the real deal) I get excited about spices and teas and even have different teapots for different teas. I went to London once for the express purpose of buying spices for myself. I live in Cornwall. I want to run a teashop, with a samovar in it. I have a spa membership for fuck's sake! It's actually one of the few things that eases a lot of my pain, but still...
I'm a graphic designer at the moment, but thinking of going into writing and proofreading instead. I think in long words. In fact, when I'm drunk I use a lot more of them than when I'm sober. I go to poetry evenings and join in with local amdram. I am in the process of writing a novel.

So then, very middle class too, verging on posh, it would appear.

Quite a living contradiction, me. I sort of fit in in both worlds but also neither. People definitely find me confusing. I tend to mostly fit in with hedonistic hippy types, but I am quite happy with my little internal dichotomy. It means I get to be who the fuck I want to be!

TLDR I'm a bit odd. And this is really long! Still, being laughed at on the internets for being odd is a lot cheaper than therapy!
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:10, 41 replies)

What's almost overdosing on drugs got to do with being working class?

( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:20, closed)

fair point
but considering the one I nearly OD'd on a couple of times was butane gas, it probably does count as fairly working class.
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:28, closed)

Being able to find the money for smack does not make you middle class does it?

( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:36, closed)

dunno. I was probably heading in a smackish direction to be honest, before I Found Jesus
Was offered heroin at a party and only just decided not to go for it. Another time I'd have probably said yes, if there wasn't a bird to impress.

(edit. not promoting finding Jesus here! It probably saved my life, but was also one of the stupidest things Ive ever done)
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:38, closed)

Mmmmmm. Gassy.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:38, closed)

fucking horrible stuff
but very cheap. My mate thought I'd died. Apparently I passed out with a carrier bag of it over my head for about an hour. It may have been five minutes though, as he was also trolleyed on the stuff.
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:39, closed)

People who insist on how odd they are almost inevitably turn out to be deadly dull.
Also ... caravan drug losers are inevitably middle class trustafarian drop out dicks. Working class druggies shoot up in council flats.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:28, closed)

I don't generally point out my oddness. I think.
Also, definitely not a trustafarian. Just got a bit lost in my teen years, then got Jesus'd for a while. I regret that more than the drugs mostly!
I couldn't get a council flat though - they all got sold. Though I did grow up in one, come to think of it.

edit - the caravan shooting up thing was someone else! I didn't get to that point - see above Jesusery.
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:34, closed)

I'll think you'll find that most people who shoot up aren't working class at all.
They're dolies.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:52, closed)

a severe dislike of needles probably helped too.
Also, that part of my life didn't really last very long thank fuck!
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 17:05, closed)

Terrible bullying of *mv*e

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 17:26, closed)

whats one of those?

(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 0:53, closed)

He's our pet middle-aged tweenager trustafarian.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 18:00, closed)

ah right
I had to google trustafarian to find a definition. I don't fit the description, but what if someone is born into wealth but isn't an asshole? At what point are they acceptable in normal society? Seems like there's a lot of reverse snobbery flying around here.
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 18:28, closed)

the word is 'arsehole'
hth
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 0:16, closed)

fair point
I've been reading too many American books of late.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 21:30, closed)

Reading this
If you are currently on the bacon roll, and a Graphic designer.

Then your class is the Criminal Class.

HTHs
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 16:50, closed)

Oh they know all about it.
I'm signed off work, but try and keep my hand in in case I get better. The amount of work I'm actually capable of isn't much at all, so I just send them my accounts every year.
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 17:04, closed)

I think in general I probably count as middle class with working class tendencies
and not a lot of money.
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 17:09, closed)

Why does going to poetry evenings and writing a novel make you 'very middle class too, verging on posh'
It makes you a snob if that's your attitude about working class people, but looking at these 'tales' I don't think you're alone
( Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 17:26, closed)

I have no antipathy towards working class people
but these activities tend to be seen as middle class. Actually most of the poets I listen to are definitely working class. My favourite one last week started with something like "sorry, I seem to have turned into a massive dickhead."
By the way, 'very middle class too, verging on posh' was referring to the whole paragraph, not just that sentence!
I have been defined by various people as working class scum and as a posh git. Thought I'd tell my story as it's the qotw and all, but it's something I very rarely think about. Class doesn't define the way I think of myself or others, but I think it's interesting that I have licked both sides of the class divide window.
(teasus likes tea, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 17:39, closed)

ANOTHER bloody Star Wars post.
:(
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 24 Mar 2014, 17:39, closed)

as in ridiculously long and not that exciting really?
Yeah sorry about that.
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 1:04, closed)

'I own a yacht piano and I've just bought a beaureu.'
How have you managed to pay for these out of your benefits?

The smell of troll is strong in this one...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Mar 2014, 20:12, closed)

the yacht piano was a gift
the beaureu was a bargain at £35 from my neighbour and I needed a proper desk instead of the planks balanced between the wall and the bookshelf I've been using. I've just had a backdated payout from DLA after fighting for the last two years to reverse a decision made by those ATOS wankers. I can temporarily afford to splash out on a few nice things. Mostly books and a phone line (at last I can actually have an internet connection of my own!)
I'll go back to being a bit less skint than before soon.
No trollage - it's all true I tell you! I seem to be particularly verbose today though!
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 0:53, closed)

Isn't a phoneline a bit daft if you only want it for internet? Better off using one of the mobile networks that don't mind tethering.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 20:32, closed)

they're extremely unreliable around here
and the phoneline is actually cheaper, weirdly enough. Got a snazzy deal.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 21:32, closed)

you mean 'bureau'
Good luck with the writing career!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 7:56, closed)

yeah there is that!
oops! I do proofreading too. Who'd have thunk it?
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:41, closed)

You sound like the sort of boring hipster prick who has to fill their life with mismatched tat and use big words inappropriately to compensate for your utter lack of personality, charm, wit and grace.
Grow the fuck up.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 8:26, closed)

Haha oh you silly pathetic little person. I think you might be taking the internet way too seriously.
I have a great life despite a lot of shite that's been thrown my way. I have a lot of good friends, including my own grown up children. I don't bother coming on b3ta that often partly because real life is more fun and partly because of twats like you that just spend their insignificant lives telling people off on the internet. grow the fuck up yourself. I'm off to wash my mismatched dishes.
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:47, closed)

Dorje,
Meet Braindead.

Braindead, be nice or you'll get the hosepipe again.
(username failed moderation, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 16:41, closed)

you well fancy me

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 17:51, closed)

what happens with the hosepipe?

(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 17:54, closed)

It's the biggest thing he's ever put up his arse

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 18:29, closed)

I beg to differ
unless the hosepipe is wider than his own head
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 20:29, closed)

Quick, validate your existence again!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 17:51, closed)

I posted a story about class in a qotw about class. Sorry if that upset you.
My life isn't about the internet. I read qotw from time to time, contributing if I have something I think people may find funny or interesting. Mostly, people do, I think. Maybe not so this time. ho hum, I'll just go and do hipster things, whatever they are.

I hope you have a lovely day, BraynDedd, and manage to pull that fuckoff great chip off your shoulder some day. Love you xxx
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 18:10, closed)

well said

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 13:48, closed)

(username failed moderation, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 9:16, closed)

Hee hee hee
I do love this
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 12:35, closed)

I had a peanut butter sandwich with my lunch. True story.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 13:21, closed)

You're such a
fucking liar.
(username failed moderation, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 14:53, closed)

You sound
aristocratic. Benefits + drugs + bohemian lifestyle.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:45, closed)

well the benefits and drugs weren't at the same time
but I see your point. Shit.
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 14:48, closed)

well I seem to have generated a lot of dislike with this one
Usually people find my very occasional postings at least vaguely amusing.

Curious how, despite their irrelevance, class distinctions raise a lot of heat. I seem to be getting a lot of reverse snobbery because I have middle class tendencies. OK so I wear cords, read books and like art. It doesn't mean I look down on people who don't, or think highly of myself because I do.

I probably have a lot less money than most of you, and I'm no more privileged in any other way either. For example I don't have a television because I can't afford the licence. I've only just managed to get a phoneline, and I only ever buy secondhand technology, clothes, and furniture. Most of my cool stuff was given to me (the piano and all the original art, for example). I can't drink for health reasons, likewise other fun dirty habits. Or a great many good ones.

My worst financial habits are buying spices and secondhand books (you can fill a bag for a quid at my local charity shop). Most of the good live music round here is free. I'm pretty good at living a full life despite the limitations on me.

If you don't like it, I don't actually give a fuck, but it does confuse me that I've generated so much apparent anger. Oh well. Good job I have a life away from the internet eh?!
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 18:43, closed)

You clearly do care, or you wouldn't be tl;dr-ing about how little you care.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Mar 2014, 22:38, closed)

Well, I find it curious, rather than anything else.
I'm not upset, but I do wonder what it is that's so got your goat, and that of others.

Mmm goat. Delicious goat curry. Nothing much gets my goat - you can't but goat meat in Cornwall, so I've got no goat to get.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 21:39, closed)

so many words that nobody is going to read
you chippy cunt
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 0:17, closed)

somebody might,
you never know.

Bet you did really. You're just jealous of my mad writing skills.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 21:52, closed)

nice try
www.amazon.com/The-Penguin-Book-Fishing-Handbooks/dp/0140462279/ref=aag_m_pw_dp?ie=UTF8&m=A11K3NIZIUFF24 YOU PRICE GOUGING BASTARD!
(yeswehavenopasties, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 2:09, closed)

Jesus, that's a bit pricey!
I paid 10p down at the local chazzer shop for mine.

edit - I've got some of the first draft illustrations on my kitchen wall. Found them at my Granny's house after she'd died.
(teasus likes tea, Wed 26 Mar 2014, 21:34, closed)

i like this
have a click
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 13:50, closed)