why?
HKLP (holding a knife like a pen)... scum.

Eating takeaway food on public transport

Chewing gum, why not just tattoo chav on your face (actually see neck tattoos)

ASDA

Young children with pierced ears

Eating crisps (see chewing gum)

Stella Artois

Restaurants with pictures of the food on their menu

Three quarter length trousers on blokes

ARGOS

Showing too much cleavage/thigh/leg or wandering around the town centre on a sunny day with no shirt

Hair ‘scrunchies’ worn around the wrist

‘Leisurewear’

Spitting

Sniffing

Lambrini

Driving around in a tarted up Nova playing drum n bass and saying ‘innit’ a lot

Football shirts

Love bites

Wearing slippers to the shops

Asking people to remove their shoes in your house. FUCK OFF. This is not the 1700’s. I do not have clods of fucking manure stuck to me

Smacking children

Smoking in public places (awaits flaming) and yes I used to smoke

Tracksuit bottoms tucked into socks - just what is is that about

Your chav wife/childs name tattooed on your neck

Hen nights – pissed up braying tarts, lovely

Eating in supermarket ‘canteens’

Rolling up the end of the toothpaste tubes – gladly this is a dying practice due to the introduction of plastic tubes

Musical doorbells

Plastic fucking butterflies on the outside of your chavvy bastard house

Gold jewelry

Covers for phones ipods etc

Excessive Christmas decorations

Eating a donner kebab in the street

People who put harnesses on bull terriers

Eating at a Harvester ‘Pub’ - whats with the fucking wooden spoon nonsense. And i'll pay AFTER i've eaten thank you.

People who crunch ice cubes

Artex

Laminate flooring

‘settee’ it’s a sofa you fucking pleb

‘Spag Bol’

Monobloc where you used to have a lawn but you park your Vauxhall

Vauxhalls

The Welsh

Fat people (see ASDA/ supermarket ‘canteens’)

Drinking from a can of lager on a train

Fluffy toys on the parcel shelf/dashboard

The vast majority of frozen food (except peas obviously)

Marrowfat peas

Americans

People who don’t like seafood – invariably scum

Bingo

carrying keys with excessive key fobs and widgets on them

wearing a shirt darker than your tie

women dancing in their bare feet at some cattlemarket

women walking home in their bare feet after a night at some cattlemarket

arguing in public

wearing a black tie to anything other than a funeral or formal occasion

pre-tied bow ties at black tie do's

put your fucking flabby midriff away woman! please.

excessively styled hair

'popped' collars

"i aint done nuffink" and other such double negatives, split infinitives etc

car plates in unusual fonts - zapf chancery all in caps - classy

getting married in a novelty setting or costume
(unless of course its a vegas elvis wedding chapel - but only if you are not american)

wearing tights with peep toe shoes

... i really do have to stop
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 21:38, 19 replies)

funnily enough all my answers for 'common' seem to work

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 21:43, closed)

You're missing the point slightly
It's not 'Things that annoy you'.

It's things which are popular, but which you don't like.

For example, I wouldn't call smacking children or harnesses on bull terriers as popular.

Great list though, regardless.
(Purple_Monkey_Jingles Purple Monkeys need love too, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 21:45, closed)

get out on the high street
sadly these things are very popular indeed
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 21:48, closed)

Despite the above comment...
...folds arms, closes eyes and nods head....
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 15 Oct 2009, 21:47, closed)

Dangling participles ?
'Nuffink'....drives me fucking mental.
( bane, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 21:47, closed)

I wish everyone was more like you Spimfy darling :)
(XmanX captain upsetter hahahahaha, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:07, closed)

That's a lot of dislike...
Deep breathes.

End of message
(schrodingers cat now you see me, or not, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:14, closed)

"People who don’t like seafood – invariably scum"
Quite possibly the most vitriolic thing i have read on here, all day...and by todays standards, that's saying something
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:38, closed)

accurate dear boy
accurate
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 22:41, closed)

Right on the money, though.
Poached tilapia with kaffir lime and creme fraiche is, like, well minging, know't'ahm'sain?
(835Rocks, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 0:00, closed)

Well
You may need to reconsider our friendship then.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 0:55, closed)

I'm with you in most of these
But I have to take exception at 'settee'.

What's wrong with calling it a settee? Or a couch? The words are synonymous.

And you're only parking your arse on it anyway.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 8:56, closed)

I don't think double negatives aren't not unconfusing.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 9:28, closed)

Popular wisdom
(in the some bloke once told me vein) has it that chavs tuck their tracksuit bottoms into their socks for shoplifting purposes, i.e. they can stick something down there and leg it without worrying about it falling out
(Banjax, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 10:21, closed)

That sort of makes sense...
but why then do they do it all the time? Like when they're definitly not going to be shoplifting, like at night for example.

And do they not realise that wearing socks like that in the first place will attract the attention of any half decent security guard the second they walk into the shop? Well, I suppose that obviously they don't because they're all thick as horse shit.
(Iaino, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:17, closed)

The Welsh?
What is wrong with us?
(Andino, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 14:39, closed)

You had me at...
HKLP (holding a knife like a pen)... scum.

Yus indeed.
(MartinB9999, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 16:55, closed)

What's the point in..
having hints like:
"Please think twice before adding line breaks"

Just a list would have done really..
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 19:02, closed)

well i could be a cunt and point out that as a professional designer
with an honours degree in graphic design and typography and over 2 decades of design, layout and typesetting experience, there are aspects of legibility to be gained by faking more generous leading. in this case the use of hard returns (please note double returns are not technically line breaks) in my professional opinion make the long list less of a visual chore to work through. (naturally thats not to suggest it's good copy).

or i could say fuck it - its my post, i'll do what i like





f...
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sat 17 Oct 2009, 20:06, closed)