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This is a question Common

Freddy Woo writes, "My wife thinks calling the front room a lounge is common. Worse, a friend of hers recently admonished her daughter for calling a toilet, a toilet. Lavatory darling. It's lavatory."

My own mother refused to let me use the word 'oblong' instead of 'rectangle'. Which is just odd, to be honest.

What stuff do you think is common?

(, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:06)
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I distinctly remember the time when I realized that I was
how shall I put this, a cut above some of my school friends.

It was the week after the inter tutor football competition where I had unwittingly picked Nicola Tipbank to play in goal.

Well, following her letting me finger her while she sucked of Jonny Deacon, me and Nicola became quite close. She used to pass me little notes in science lessons telling me she wasn't wearing any pants and that I should meet her behind the bike sheds at lunchtime.

So down I would go, excitement in my eyes and throbbing in my pants and there she would be, sitting on that low bit of brick wall, legs spread, those come to bed eyes looking straight at me while Matt Billings or Richard Hawkes' pasty white arses bounced back and forth as they gave her a good seeing too.

After a month or so she let me squeeze her tits while she got some and I knew this was real, this was going somewhere, this could be the one.

Then finally, three months and two days to the moment I mistakenly called out her name, it finally happened.

It was Thursday, the sky was grey and threatened rain when I received my usual note in the middle of double physics. Mrs Turner, our teacher who hailed from Sheffield, was wearing a black vest top which showed off her wrinkled cleavage and bingo wings to full effect. It was all I could do to stop myself lifting the desk as I looked from her to Nicola, who winked at me with a lustful stare.

As the bell rang, I stood up carefully, hunching over and holding my bag over my crotch. Jody Mulfinge caught me eye and turned and whispered to Ellen Shrimpton, they both looked back at me and giggled. I ignored them and walked out of class, my left hand frantically bobbing up and down in my pocket.

I got the bike shed and was surprised when I couldn't hear the frantic gruntings of Matt or Richard. I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Had she decided to end it? Was this some sort of joke?

Nervously I turned the corner. She was there. One foot on the floor, the other on the wall beside her, her long fingers tracing lines across the thin light brown fuzz that covered that most elusive of secret places. I could feel all moisture draining from my mouth as she beckoned me over to her. I stood in front of her and she reached out and unzipped my fly.

My juvenile todger sprung out like an angry chopstick. She grasped it in one hand and before I knew what was happening it was in her mouth. I'm not proud to admit that I barely had time to inhale before shooting a thick stream of jizz right to the back of her throat.

She swallowed, wiped her mouth with her sleeve, looked up at me, winked and giggled as she straightened her skirt and walked off, leaving me and my rapidly detumescing member hanging in the cold breeze.

It was just then it hit me that this was never going to work. This glorious forever I had planned in my fertile imagination would never transfer into reality.

She wiped her mouth on her sleeve. Did the girl even own a handkerchief?
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:03, 14 replies)
Rough mate.
At least she didn't spit it out on your belly.
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:13, closed)
FrankSpencer would be proud
(The B3ta member, not the shit "comedy" character)
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:22, closed)
Why do I feel somewhat illegal after reading that?
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:23, closed)
"My juvenile todger sprung out like an angry chopstick"
Fantastic. Someone tell Frank he's got competition.
*clicks furiously enough to contract vibration white-finger*
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:24, closed)
Frankspencer would be proud.
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:34, closed)


*wanks a little bit*
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:38, closed)
only a little...
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 15:22, closed)
Angry Chopstick indeed . awesome.
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:40, closed)



(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 9:43, closed)
It's called "cranking"
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 17:10, closed)
Was this meant to be funny?
Did I miss something?
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 12:18, closed)
Of course not
Can't you see he's being totally serious!?

(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 22:41, closed)
I'm glad
someone has finally spotted this. I was worried the first 8 posters seem to think this is some sort of joke reply.

*shakes head*
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 23:31, closed)
angry chopstick!
deserves a click in itself!
(, Tue 21 Oct 2008, 23:08, closed)

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