Charity workers (inspired by the below post).
I once popped into town on the way back from a holiday so I could buy a book and a few beers.
On my way to the bookshop I spotted a bunch of charity-clipboarders acosting people. Now, while I admire a charitable sort I view being acosted by people as an invasion of my personal space.
So, on my way back from the book shop one of the clipboarders manages to intercept me and asks "Do you like animals?". I don't break my stride as I reply "I like eating them!".
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 17 May 2011, 17:42, 19 replies)

Fuck me. It's Oscar Fucking Wilde.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 18:18, closed)

I thought he was a vedgie?
I think it was Darwin who went around eating any phylum he could?
Either way I am not a woopsie so I can't be Wilde.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 17 May 2011, 18:30, closed)

Fuck me. It's Albert fucking Einstein.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 May 2011, 19:10, closed)

Fuck me, it's a troll, being all troll like

(McChinaman banned, Wed 18 May 2011, 7:52, closed)

Fuck me, it's yet another whimpering nobody who doesn't know what "troll" means.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 18 May 2011, 8:46, closed)

fuck me
Its a cunt being a cunt
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:13, closed)

Hahahaha you fucking finger-sniffing chimp.

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Tue 17 May 2011, 19:26, closed)

Eh, my fingers smell of cheese, what of it?

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 17 May 2011, 20:25, closed)

would you eat a cockatoo?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 17 May 2011, 19:16, closed)

Would you eat beaver ?
(Bitter and Twisted, Tue 17 May 2011, 19:26, closed)

i've heard they taste fishy
and not a little hairy
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 17 May 2011, 19:29, closed)

I find that they are best when freshly stuffed.
Don't worry I already have my coat in my hand.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Tue 17 May 2011, 19:35, closed)

don't forget your briefcase

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 17 May 2011, 19:41, closed)

Errrgh !
You like sauce
(Bitter and Twisted, Tue 17 May 2011, 19:42, closed)

Had a few offered, but they looked jolly unappealing.

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 17 May 2011, 20:26, closed)

they generally do

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 17 May 2011, 20:35, closed)

Would that work line for NSPCC chuggers too?
(dyllon nice beaver., Tue 17 May 2011, 20:22, closed)

Minimum wage slaves everywhere raise their middle fingers in salute to your hilarious sense of humour.

( The Coast Of Yemen, Tue 17 May 2011, 22:49, closed)

Loaded questions
Clipboard workers who ask loaded questions like that are either religious cults, extremists, or just asking for sarcastic answers. I expect everyone likes animals, so the question is utterly meaningless except as a way to soften you up for the next questions where they hit you for money.
(MagicMoose, Tue 17 May 2011, 23:56, closed)