Cheers buddy!
I was young (ish) and very, very naive. I was really late to the party when it comes to girls and sex and generally not being a total nerd.

So when I got my first blowjob, and she looked up at me smiling, I didn't know how to react. I thought for a second of what to do, and nothing came to mind. So I said, "thank you".

Her smile vanished and she looked at me as if I had just shat on her bed. She said, "no...just don't. Never do that."

I cringed. My vaguely successful attempt at faking experience had just flown right out the window, leaving me confused and scared.

Nowadays I know the correct response is to wink at her and say "Dy-no-mite!"
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 17:03, 9 replies)

the correct response is
"Thank you my dear. You have afforded me some relief."
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 17:20, closed)

or
How'd you like them apples
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 18:29, closed)

Put that in your pipe and smoke it

(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 12:08, closed)

How about,
"Don't move, I'll get you a towel"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 19:16, closed)

I normally find saying
"sorry, I meant to give you some warning." is appropriate.
( Moey, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 20:40, closed)

Or how about..
*Huge Smile*
Your turn I believe?

Works for me....
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 20:53, closed)

This
is the correct response.

The others are funnier though. But they would generally garner a slap.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 22:55, closed)

Not bad but your mum is better
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 21:15, closed)

Reminds me of comedy gold
We were all sitting around drunk and stoned, and one guy had got confused with latin phrases and thought that fellatio was one part of a two part phrase.

"What's the word that comes after fellatio?" he slurred.
Instantly, I replied, "Thanks."

I got a round of applause.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 21:52, closed)