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This is a question Cunning Plans

I once devised a totally foolproof cunning plan to attract the attention of bikini-clad women, which - as you might imagine - failed miserably. Ever come up with a cunning plan for something? Did it work? What went wrong? Do you look back through the filter of the years with a burning sense of shame?

Suggested by Ring of Fire

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:57)
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Oh dear AA deleted his ode to chavvy shoplifting, here it is again kids
There's a really really easy method of conning at the Pic n Mix counters, if you're as cunning as a cunning fox who went to cunning university like me.

Choose a cinema where the pic n mix has something blocking it from the till's line-of-sight.

Go in with your friend in a polyester tracksuit, and slightly fill a bag, go for about £1.50 worth of sweets. Go to the till (alone!) and pay. Then, walk back to your friend (with your hand down your pants) and fill a much larger bag (i've got away with probably about £9 worth of chavvy shoplifting before) before depositing a couple of large items into the small bag, just enough for about 50g worth.

At this point, your chavvy friend should approach the counter, with the SMALL bag (that has already been paid for) and pay again. The difference should be enough to allay suspicion, as long as the large bag stays by the sweets.

And, voila! Mucho SHOPLIFTED free sweets!

Got me through transformers, and I still sweets left at the end! My mums still dead though :(
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:51, 63 replies)
i've clicked this to highlight my support for people with no mums who shoplift

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:53, closed)
Cheers Q man, AA needs all the help he can get.

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:57, closed)
i'm going to login with my other accounts and click with them too

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:58, closed)
And people say *I'm* the needy one.

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:58, closed)
I've just been on the phone with CID
you're fucken nicked, son
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 9:58, closed)
Well you certainly don't needy any more sweeties do you?

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:00, closed)
This is true

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:00, closed)
posting a story on your chavvy antics for attention on the internet, and then deleting it in tears when people take the piss out of your lack of awareness as to common thievery is pretty needy
only the other week you were congratulating your old man at what a great job he'd done at bringing you up, when sadly it's pretty obvious that you were dragged up.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:02, closed)
And yet I'm not the one following someone several years younger than them around a website, attempting to wind them up at every juncture.
Didn't delete in tears, simply realised that it wasn't an appropriate thing to post, hence the removal.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:05, closed)
I really don't have to follow you around AA, you're very much a stationary target
You aint twelve you're a mid twenties male, who just manages to make make yourself look stupid at most turns. You're old enough to get your own council flat now, are you suggesting that you shouldn't be allowed on the internet without being accompanied by an adult capable of preventing you looking like an arse?
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:10, closed)
Irony, thy name is Rory Lyon.

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:18, closed)
here here
looks around room and points at anyone willing to cast the first stone.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:22, closed)

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:28, closed)
Not at all, I'm saying you're a pathetic waste of skin who feels that the only way to get their 'jollies' is to mock and wind others up online
Sometimes it works, mainly it doesn't, yet you insist on carrying on with it.

I can only come to the conclusion that you have nothing else in your life, and that you are to be pitied, not reviled.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:21, closed)
Don't let Rory have any of the sweets, AA.
That'll teach him.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:27, closed)
You sound pretty upset, pull yourself together, you're a man not a boy
You've spent years crying about the bigger boys picking on you. You posted a story about shoplifting that had the total of two replies last time, with one in 'support'; on this wave of confirmation you proudly went on the pearoast tip only for several people to take the piss out of you this time. You deleted in tears AND NOW ITS HORRIBLE RORY LYONS FAULT. You're such a loser, no wonder you're a bedsit wanker.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:30, closed)
Rory, you're dribbling.
Do we need to get the cat in the hat bib out for you?
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:32, closed)
stop ruining my cinema story

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:34, closed)
Not at all, watching you work yourself up into a frenzy is greatly amusing me.
Always the same insults, always the same stories, always the same shit.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:35, closed)
i'll have to admit they are tailored specifically to you
I can't think of many others living in a congelton bedsit with a dead mum
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:36, closed)
You can't think of *anyone* living in a Congleton bedsit with a dead Mum
As I don't live in a bedsit, and I don't live in Congleton.

Then again, why let the truth get in the way of a good dribble?
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:37, closed)
but you are a shoplifting loser

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:38, closed)
And you're a wanker.
I'll hold my hands up and admit that yes, a few years back I did pinch a few quids worth of sweets. However, balance the few quid worth of sweets vs the cinema ticket, and I'm sure they'll get over it.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:46, closed)
Hold up hands
We used to nick stuff from the papershop all the time.

It's what kids do.

Of course it all stopped when they started only allowing 2 of us in at a time. Yup, that really worked well.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:48, closed)
except AA said 'a few years back'
meaning he was 23
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:20, closed)
Stop being so defensive, you're a thief that's all. Your old man the 'Baptist Preacher' obviously spent more time trying to get into his parishioners knickers than he did teaching you right from wrong
You're now trotting out some jumbled up muddled anarcho lefty shit that you've half heard from Bella that you can't steal from big business because they've already stolen from the little people. You're such a loser.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:52, closed)
Again, you bring my family into this, what is it you have against them?
You've never met them, you know very little about them, yet everytime you get wound up at me, you insist on mentioning them. It's sad.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:15, closed)
May I just
say, he does it because you react to it.

You don't need to respond to him at all. Just read through his posts, you soon get to realise who is the idiot. Just be happy with that, and leave him to it. He'll soon get bored.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:19, closed)
Aye, I know
You are entirely correct, I just find it a mystery what in particular he has against me, it's bizarre.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:20, closed)
I don't have anything against you AA, at best you're a fat little thieving gnome who posts prickish crap on a forum that I use

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:28, closed)
You're the one that mocked the fact I was upset over someone I was very close to dying, and I'm the prick?
You're an odd one.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:31, closed)
you were doing it for attention though, someone else's dad carked it and you rubbed your sweaty chubby paws together
you immediately boarded the grief train from congleton and went posting all about it on the internet. Somebody who you barely knew or ever posted about (and we all know how you like to blog your pitiful life on here) suddenly became the center of your world overnight. You've already milked that one with your dead mum, in case you need reminding. Why not pearoast that tale as well.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:41, closed)
Someone on the Internet doing something to attract attention.

Heaven forbid Rory.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:45, closed)
I hope he's learnt his lesson from todays furore

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:48, closed)
Mourning my best friend's Dad is a bad thing now?
Fucking hell Rory, you really are pathetic.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:50, closed)
That's it,
you ruin everyone's fun.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:25, closed)
I'm the most
awful cunt sometimes.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:34, closed)
It's you, isn't it?
You're the idiot.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:34, closed)
Just how inbred are you you pommie cunts?
Fuck me Rory between you and Agnostic you make Aus. look like a wide brown land of tolerance and acceptance.
Dopey fuckwits.

As Lleytton Hewitt would say - "C'mon!"
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 12:14, closed)
Rory's a paddy, please don't lump the rest of us in with him
You should feel some affinity with the Irish, they're shit at cricket too.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 12:22, closed)
Might want to look up the history of the Ashes. And take a look at your crying Scots tennis players.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 12:57, closed)
Not one of ours either.He lost, so now he is Scot again and not British. ;)
(, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 16:46, closed)
You saying this about someone else?
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:41, closed)
it's got my made up internet name underneath what I've typed and everything

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:59, closed)
I think this is the first story I have seen you post rory albeit a repost of someones deleted one.
Well done old bean, it shows you are not just a one trick pony of childish taunts and angry denials.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:30, closed)
Cheers bud

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:33, closed)
No, he's also a joyless petty ringpiece devoid of all charm.

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:48, closed)
Ever the bitter virgin

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:53, closed)
i think everyone needs to stop bullying rory in this thread
he pointed out that stealing and then bragging about it is wrong, and that AA is an idiot for thinking otherwise.

unless you support criminals, you should be on his side
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:36, closed)
If I was Batman, you'd definitely be Chief O Hara

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 10:37, closed)
to be sure, to be sure
i saw an episode of the 60s telly show the other day, and for some reason O'Hara and the police SHOT Batman, and I didn't even tune in same Bat-time, same Bat-channel to find out why or whether Batman survived.

I'm assuming he did
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:17, closed)
Bullying Rory ?
Why bother ?
Rory doesn't need our help to make himself look like a tit.

But while we're at it, here, you might want to read this...

Just in case you ever want to get into an argument and have something to say.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:32, closed)
so you're saying that you do support criminals?

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:35, closed)
not only that, but he supports the cause of dangerous paedophiles that resemble characters from hit 1990's videogame 'Sonic the hedgehog'

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:46, closed)
Love you too...
You Fuzzy Fuzzy lion, you.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:52, closed)
It's alright Quentin, no need to feel like an inadequate moron. It's not your fault.
Get your carer to read the longer words and you'll be able to join in conversations with the big people any day now.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:55, closed)
now i'm being patronised by someone who endorses crime
why are there never any mods or police about when you need them? :'(
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:56, closed)
Don't cry.
It's only the internets...

Here, have a kitten.

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 12:18, closed)
and now the criminal endorser is mocking afflicted animals
well done, duke
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 12:20, closed)
also, i think it's only fair to mention that AA has a very unnatractive ginger non-"girlfriend" who he was in a photo with once

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:32, closed)
hahahah you sad fucker

(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 11:40, closed)

I think this is the most autist I've ever seen you Rory! bravo.
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 19:28, closed)
top stuff
I do like classic internet bullying, if it's done tastefully and the participants rise to every insult while claiming not to be bothered and to pity the bullying party
(, Tue 10 Jul 2012, 22:03, closed)

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