I finished working at a bookshop last week YAY!
The customers there aren't as bad as in some retail outlets I have worked in, but sometimes you get the classics (if you will excuse the pun)

"You know that Bleak House program? Is there a book to go with it?"

"Has Jane Austin got anything new out?"

Working in photo labs and a camera shop exposed (another pun) me to much more angry and ridiculously demanding customers

One woman came into the lab to make a fuss because she had lost her pictures and the negatives. Apparently we were in the wrong as we should keep copies of everyones negatives

One man (and this is just the worst of these, we had many on this theme) spent ages shouting at us because we couldn't make a panoramic picture fit into a 6x4 shape without a black line at the top or cropping.

His best argument was "BUT IT'S MY PICTURE!"

OK sir, I'll just change the laws of geometry for you

Then there was the woman who double exposed a slide film and insisted that we must have put her film in with someone else's. According to her, that other person's pictures had just dropped off their film and onto hers.

Other than those, in the labs we had a surprising number of people who dropped in films of porn and seemed unaware that we looked at every picture (which seems odd as we were doing this about 1 metre away from the serving desk). Some of these pictures were quite 'gooey'.

In the camera shop, being the only girl there, I spent most of my time trying to convince customers that I did know about cameras (I have a couple of degrees in photography and now lecture on the subject). Most just tried to catch the eyes of the men working there, but one customer was less subtle

"Hello, can I talk to one of the boys please, I need some technical advice."

The question was then about what film he needed. gah!

One more! Sorry, years of retail have taken their toll:

Photography student "I used this sepia filter on the front of my camera and it didn't make my pictures sepia"

my boss (suspicious of this) "what film are you using"

Photography student "Just normal black and white"

Everyone else "..."

She then tried to claim I'd told her this would work, at which point my boss pointed out I already had the degree she was studying for and to stop being so stupid (well in slightly more polite terms).

I'll stop there and just appreciate that I (hopefully) will not have to go back to retail again.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 13:44, 7 replies)

Jane Austen
has got something new out.

www.amazon.com/Lost-Austen-Create-Your-Adventure/dp/1594482586
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 15:45, closed)

i work on a photolab aswell
got asked today if i can turn B&W negs into colour...

/facepalm
(tweedleDUMB Giving Up Smoking, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 18:56, closed)

I hope you answered with...
"Jane Austin...errr...no I don't think so, but we do have DH Lawrences' latest."
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 21:18, closed)

Ahh, memories
Then there was the woman who double exposed a slide film and insisted that we must have put her film in with someone else's. According to her, that other person's pictures had just dropped off their film and onto hers."

YES! In 12 years of working in labs, I had people who had mis-loaded their films and therefore all 36 frames of their film ended up being exposed in the same piece of silver halide real estate. I had people tell me, straight faced that "The pictures must have slid there in the chemicals"
Someone once asked me if we printed the neg the other way round (back-to-front), would we then be able to see the family member behind the tree (it was really hard not to say yes)
The people who claimed to be professionals, but were obviously fucking idiots with cameras.
The guy who brought in 30-odd rolls of film of his trip across the USA. He claimed none of the pics were his. Then followed a mad rush to make sure we hadn't swapped negs and customer bags. He informed us that the pics were of the locations he was at, just not the things he had photographed. Turns out he'd taken EVERY SINGLE SHOT with the camera up to his eye (rangefinder AF compact), and lens aimed neatly over his shoulder. Twit.

Other than those, in the labs we had a surprising number of people who dropped in films of porn and seemed unaware that we looked at every picture (which seems odd as we were doing this about 1 metre away from the serving desk). Some of these pictures were quite 'gooey'.

Erghh, yes. 99.99% of porn from customers was off-putting. There's a nice Australian colloquialism for the female genitals: gutted wombat. That's what some of these womens' pink bits looked like. Not to mention spotty, saggy arses and tits which looked like football socks part-filled with wet sand. And ugly, ugly cocks.

I used to stick labels on some of them congratulating the person, and saying it deserved an enlargement. That was always most fun when a newbie was serving, and the wife was collecting. Much mirth was had if there was a mix-up and we'd put the wrong shots in the envelope.

However, the guy who brought in the film of him and 5 girls (they took it in turns to take the pics) earned my undying respect.
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Sun 7 Sep 2008, 15:31, closed)

I used to run a photolab
I used to run the lab on a sunday, part time whilst at Uni, God knows why a company so large as "Generic Nottingham Based Massive Pharmacy Company" allowed me into the lab, I wasn't trained on anything and used to make it up as I went, usually still pissed from the Saturday Night.

The biggest problem was explaining to people that if you buy a shite disposable camera on holiday, its usually a recycled cartridge and that's why all your photos have either bled into each other, are miss-aligned with the frames, or have massive red streaks all over them!

Bloody Customers.

The white jacket with chemical stains all down it, gloves and goggles did give some air of authority though!
(stevio is on the prowl for a girlfriend!, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:29, closed)

elcat reminds me of another...
At one lab I also did restorations and one customer asked for the hat of one person in the picture to be taken off.

"OK", I said, "have you a picture of his head without a hat we can work with?"

"surely you'll see that when you take his hat off"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:42, closed)

uh
Oh the joys of working in a photo lab. I sympathize.
(The One That Time Forgot, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:47, closed)