fireworks
every year when we were kids, my dad would get a box of fireworks for us.
every year, without fail, he'd nail the catherine wheel to the fence so tightly that it wouldn't budge an inch, although they did occasionally blow up.
he never learned.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 23:23, 12 replies)

ah! well you missed out
my dad's ones would do exactly 2.5 revolutions before sticking fast.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 25 Nov 2010, 23:43, closed)

i'd have liked to see
just one of the fuckers move
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 23:47, closed)

every year i for some reason insist on getting a box of fireworks my little un she isnt so little these days (12 Years of age) but i can remember a few years ago tacking a catherine wheel to our back garden fence lighting the taper and promptly watching the fence catch light as the catherine wheel remained stationary and let rip its jet into the fence panel. This amused my wife more than my daughter she was doubled up as i chucked cold water over the fence...
(Cov Boy, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 0:14, closed)

there's still a massive scorch mark
on my parent's garden fence
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 0:19, closed)

I just spat out red wine
all over my keyboard.
Good god. Maybe it's a scouse thing. Always dangerous.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 0:16, closed)

i'm not always dangerous
just often ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 0:19, closed)

Often?
Mainly! :)
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 0:20, closed)

heheheh

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 15:26, closed)

Dammit
This just happened to me for the first time this year. I am now the dad whose catherine wheel stubbornly refused to move. Even though I checked it was free-turning before I lit it. Bastard.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 10:04, closed)

they don't like dads
i'm sure they're designed to make you look an incompetent cunt in front of your kids.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 15:26, closed)

hahaha lol
so true, except mine is really worried about setting fire to the fence and only taps it in a little way. This year his catherine wheel span twice, fell off the fence and jumped around the patio showering onlookers with sparks. Everyone ran away screaming except me and dad who are total pyros, and were doubled up with laughter.

A dad who does everything perfectly all the time is no fun...
(TheFlyingOnion. looking forward to, Sat 27 Nov 2010, 16:22, closed)

hahahaha!
i think i'd have laughed, too!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 27 Nov 2010, 17:41, closed)