Up shit roof without a ladder.
Wavy Lines.
I used to work as a chippie in years gone by. For those of the soft-handed variety a chippie is a carpenter, often a roofing carpenter. Being part of a team of 3 meant that frequently fun and frivolity ensued.

One of the blokes I worked with was a gap-toothed charmer named Terry or Tez for short. To say that Tez was a bit different was a gross understatement. We knew Tez by two names - "Night-Tez" and "Day-Tez". At work he was an easy-going joker who could be relied upon to mostly get on with the job. The worst of his practical jokes involved "gorning" (don't ask about the name - I've got no fucking idea) which essentially entailed him surreptitiously hitting you in the testes. If he achieved this without you getting out of the way or hitting you hard enough that you couldn't retaliate then you had been "GORNED!" according to Tez. Top kek, as the kids these days say.
Night Tez was a whole other fucking story. Imagine the most racist, homophobic politically incorrect person you know. Combine them with Nigel Farage, Marie Le Pen and Tony Abbott. That was Night Tez after only a couple of beers at the pub after work. Mussolini and Franco would have seemed like a nice amiable fellows by closing time.

Anyhow. One particular job springs to mind. We were retiling a slippery moss covered clay-tile roof (both Tez and our offsider Daz were roofies - people who specialize in roofing carpentry, as you might imagine many prefer to be called "chippies" now) and whilst Daz was up on the roof pulling tiles, Tez was on the ladder being handed the tiles and ditching them in skip.
All of a sudden I hear a "whack-thump-yelp" from around the corner. As I'm hands full I shout out to the boys "Alright?"
I get back an answer from Daz, it seems that Tez has slipped on the ladder - "Day-Tez GORNED 't rung!"
(spl00sh!, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 8:13, 15 replies)

If you have to make up a word to make your pun, then it isn't very good and you probably shouldn't bother

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 8:39, closed)

he should probably commit suicide

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 8:52, closed)

Both of you -
worse than Night-Tez at 2 AM on a Sunday morning.
(spl00sh!, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 9:19, closed)

^upset

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 9:40, closed)

Is that different from
2am in the evening and 2pm in the morning? I think we should be told.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 12:45, closed)

Mmmm chips
Or "salad", as dozer would call them
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 13:08, closed)

Glasgow salad
The garnish of kings.

And morbidly obese Scottish people.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 10:52, closed)

seems a lot of effort to demonstrate that you're thick and have no sense of humour
given that this was already clear from your earlier post
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 16:25, closed)

that wasn't very good.
( MCQ Cartoons n' shit: bagowank.com, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 18:21, closed)

No, a chippie is where you go to buy chips.
Duh.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 7 Sep 2014, 21:02, closed)

By your reasonings
Shouldn't it be "'T rung Gorned Day-Tez?"

I don't mean to piss on your chip(pies) or nothing.
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 10:36, closed)

You see, I would have written 'chippy'.
'Chippie' is perhaps an erroneous truncation of the plural 'chippies' or some similar load of old bollocks.
(daddypigsaw Geddinthebackothevan!, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 12:47, closed)

No, no, NO!
A "chippy" is where one goes to procure battered fish and salad.

See?
(spl00sh!, Mon 8 Sep 2014, 18:09, closed)

So you used to work as a slag?

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 11:23, closed)

No.

( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Tue 9 Sep 2014, 13:19, closed)