This isn't funny actually...
But it certainly qualifies as desperate.

As I may have mentioned once or twice before, my step-dad was a bit of an evil bastard, and in his eyes I could do no right.

He was an old-school "kids should be seen and not heard, why use a computer when you can go outside and play" type of bloke, and generally didn't do that much to brighten up my early years.

Anyway, one day he and my mum were at work, and I was at home, watching TV I think. He decided that just because I was "too lazy" to go out and play he wasn't going to spend any money because of it, so refused to alter the central heating timer, which meant that the house was unheated. It was winter, and I got colder and colder and colder.

In the end I was so cold I turned a lamp on in the lounge and held my hands near the bulb for warmth.

And before you all reply saying "why didn't you just get into bed?", note the statement about laziness above - he would have gone ballistic to come home and find me in bed. I even turned the light off before he was due home because I didn't want him to know I'd turned it on O_o

Anyway, that's me. Sorry to bring you all down, most of these stories are quite amusing...
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 12:59, 6 replies)

what an SOB...

( ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:06, closed)

Indeed.
So you see how lucky you are son?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:10, closed)

What an arsehole
I sincerely hope you gave his arse the kicking it deserved when you reached adulthood?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:12, closed)

hmm
Just sitting at home and watching TV? I've no sympathy at all. None. Except for the house, which must've hated being cold.


And a suggestion: a bit of physical exercise will make you warmer more effectively than a 100W light bulb.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 13:13, closed)

broken bottle
did you sleep 27 to a room with big ole in middle of floor and your dad would come ome and beat you with broken bottle?
(amy crackpipe firing up Camden, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 15:27, closed)

We used to dream
of our father beating us wi't broken bottle.

/python blog.

I can sympathise. There's been no heating at my father's house for five years as it broke down and "I never needed it when I was growing up" therefore he won't have it fixed. I've got my own house now and I'm all toatsy warm, haha.
(Lupetherabbit Went straight into smirk mode on, Tue 20 Nov 2007, 20:12, closed)