Real Ale
I'll admit to it. I like Lager. Stella, Carlsberg, Hoegaarden. But I wish I didnt. I want to like Real Ale and Guiness. But they just taste like burnt sugary crap. On my (infrequent) pub trips I watch my mate drinking his "Bishops Olde Scrote" and envy him. I end up drinking "fizzy chemical yellow water". I want to like Real ale. Really I do.
(kitescreech still here, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 19:19, 15 replies)

It's an acquired taste.
I like Abbot's Ale, but only from the tap.

I can't get into stout, it's too heavy.
( Bats, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 19:21, closed)

Hoegaarden
is not a lager.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 19:22, closed)

As MM says
Hoegaarden is not lager but a white beer. Try some blond Leffe. It is served in quite a few pubs these days.
(Fluke feels bitter as well as thick, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 19:25, closed)

Try Sneck Lifter
or Fursty Ferret- they were both excellent to me, and I'm not overly fond of things like Guinness myself.

I still want to make a brew and name it "Bishop's Ringpiece", though.

EDIT: Try some Belgian ales. Chimay makes some fantastic stuff, and Duvel is a favorite of mine.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Jun 2008, 19:29, closed)

Actually
There was one I had in Wales - "Dylan" by FellinFoil (sp?) - it was a limited edition about 6-7 years back and by gOD was it good. But stuff like Old Speckled Hen, Pedigree...ugh.
(kitescreech still here, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 19:32, closed)

TRL is on the money
If you live around London go to De Hems near China Town. It is a Dutch pub with a fantastic range of European beers. I always find the staff friendly and helpful when I ask for recommendations.

If you don't live around London then ignore me
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 20:31, closed)

I can drink lager
but I prefer not too. Too many chemicals and I end up getting a stonking hangover. Same with John Smiths - how that foul, smoothflow shite is the best selling bitter in the UK I'll never know.

Real ale is an acquired taste granted. You either like it or don't. Personally I feckin love the stuff - every one is different. but if you don't like it, don't sweat it - not everybody likes chips, or curry, or wine.

Bonus points to the Loon for his love of Fursty Ferret, though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Jun 2008, 21:11, closed)

Staropramen
Is a pretty good lager. I got into it on trips to Prague before it came over here and was taken up by posers, thus pushing the price up...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 30 Jun 2008, 21:46, closed)

Felinfoel
Or as it's occasionally known around here, Feelin'Foul. Though actually, I'm quite partial to their Double Dragon now and again.

I don't think 'Real Ale' is a single taste as such - I would generally consider myself a real ale drinker, but there are plenty I'm not keen on.

Sneck Lifter is good - anything by Jennings is a pretty safe bet. Wadworth 6X is also nice, but if you really don't like the taste of bitter, you could do worse than try Wells' Banana Bread Beer.
(Photon wasting your time since, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:31, closed)

European beers are a varied lot.
I've found that Germany and Belgium produce some truly top-notch stuff- in fact, I'd rank my favorite beer-producing countries as Belgium, Germany, England, Canada and the US in descending order. Some reasonably nice stuff comes from France, but nothing exceptional. Ditto on Italy.

I have found, however, that Poland and Greece produce remarkable beers- remarkable in that they're so vile that I can't drink them. They're like Budweiser without the character.

(I suppose as an American, I should explain why I include my own country. Since the 1980s we've had an incredible explosion of little breweries popping up all over the country, producing beers that rival anything that I've encountered from other countries. The reason I put us last is because we don't have any really distinctive and characteristic style of beer that stands out- it's all variants on things from Europe. But we do produce some damn fine beers. Come over sometime and I'll show you.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Jun 2008, 23:25, closed)

Agrees with the Loon
I've experienced some USA micro-brewery beers and by and large they are damned fine.

I must admit to a sneaking liking for Greek Mythos though...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 0:49, closed)

start you off
Well if you try Marstons "burton bitter"
its almost a lager anyway but it looks like a real ale.. and its such a low percentage you can down many compared to other people and look hardcore!!
Some real ales do taste a bit burnt, but dont be put off, there is a real ale out there for everyone.. Also - stay clear of ERM - its 12.5% and tastes fairly good.. but you might not make it home.. well your own home anyways.
good luck
(Fluffylegend, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 0:50, closed)

As an Aussie
I'd just like to add that we do make some excellent beers (see the Cooper's brewery and all their fine products) and once again point out that the reason that we export Foster's to the rest of the world is that no one here is daft enough to drink it.

Kiwi's are stupid though, Steinlager is shit.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 5:52, closed)

Mmmm...Guinness
I love the stuff.

Trouble is, after a night on the black stuff, the next day my guts are so bad - I can clear any enclosed area :(

And so my Guinness drinking days are limited to St Paddy's day only - that way I keep a few friends...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 9:58, closed)

Wow!
This is quite odd, I was the same until the weekend.

Went to a local beer festival, and had a wonderful few drinks!

My method was to go to a bar where they actually know drinks (i.e. not Wetherspoons) and ask which are the lighter ales, as they aren't too far off lagers taste, then go from there!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 11:21, closed)