There are only two tools you need - WD40 and gaffer tape.
If it moves, and shouldn't - gaffer tape.

If it doesn't move, and should - WD40.

Brute force and ignorance solves all problems eventually.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 13:27, 17 replies)

The same mate of my dad's
from my post below told my dad that WD40 was good for relieving joint pain, they are both runners and get stiff knees from time to time.

It's not true, I'm not sure how long the pair of them have been using it to allieviate achey knees but there you go! That being said neither of them squeak much so maybe there is something there!
(superkitty is neither super nor a kitty, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 13:38, closed)

i think we had the same sensai in the ways of the force
although my mantra also included a hammer, and molegrips.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 13:40, closed)

A bloke I used to work with doing sound stuff for an orchestra had this to say:
Gaffer tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

Probably not original, but still very true. He actually had a tape holster and WD40 pocket on his belt.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 13:48, closed)

Sound engineers exist on a different plane to the rest of the world.
They are logic dancers; knights of the unknown, and generally have great weed.

You need to have them on your side, or they will fuck you up in ways you couldn't even have imagined without them.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 14:03, closed)

I found one that can write
www.mixerman.net/diaries1.php

This is a solid platinum treat: the true diaries of an LA engineer recording a "next big thing" band so dysfunctional that they make Spinal Tap look like Cliff Richard and the Shadows. Ten years on it's still the best thing I've read on the internet and I thank you for jogging my memory of it.
( Scrumper, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 19:58, closed)

Gaffa tape is like the force from Star Wars
It is dark one side, light the other and it holds the universe togeather.
( riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 14:15, closed)

Does it cure echoes?

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 15:27, closed)

does it cure echoes?

(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 20:14, closed)

It does...
But only for duck's quacking.
( snee held his breath since, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 8:44, closed)

No problem in the world that can't be sorted with a hammer.
Wives included.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 14:26, closed)

and West Yorkshire prostitutes

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 14:45, closed)

Back before I dropped out of Uni, the Mechanical Engineering students had a similar creed:

There are only 3 things you need in life:
Duct tape for the things that move and shouldn't.
WD40 for the things that don't move and should.
and Beer for the rest.
(Turtlenuts, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 18:11, closed)

similarly in the navy
"If it moves, throw it overboard. If it doesn't, paint it grey".
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 20:15, closed)

If it can't be fixed with gaffer tape...
... it can't be fixed.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 23:01, closed)

A old fella i used to work with had this pearl of wisdom,
If it doesnt work,move or go,get a bigger hammer.

Words to live by.
( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Thu 20 Jan 2011, 23:51, closed)

How about
How about constipation and diarrhoea?
(whiskas loved by 8 out of 10 cats, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 17:02, closed)

Yep - them too.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 26 Jan 2011, 13:34, closed)