Not me but a friend of mine
and it wasn't even him it cost. Still, this has to go down as one of the most expensive nights I've ever heard of.

Friend of mine worked in quite a swanky hotel. Very prim and proper, everything had to be "just so", not a hair out of place type of thing. No idea how he managed it, I would've gone mental the first time they asked me to remove my piercings. But the place reeked of money and so did the clientele. Then they get a cockroach infestation. This is bad. This is very fucking bad.

Management call in some experts and ask them to be discreet, which is fair enough really. Unfortunately they were staggeringly inept. I know of this because my mate was one of the staff - he reckons they could've populated the funeral scene in Gandhi between them - who had to clean up the next day. The floor they started on was knackered but manageable, mostly just broken crockery and a weird residue. The real problem was the ballroom downstairs.

Apparently these "specialists" had tried to smoke out the roach and got a bit carried away, there were burn marks everywhere, tables upturned where they'd chased it, the contents of the expensively stocked bar were smashed (oh! the humanity). Just totally fucked. Not only did the hotel lose business and have to spend thousands to fix the place up, the exterminators charged them somewhere upwards of $9,000. That is one fucking expensive night. And all for a cockroach. Although one of the exterminators did say to a guest that it'd take your head off.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:31, 17 replies)

But at least the flowers were still standing.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:33, closed)

At least they didn't cross the beams.
That would have been 'bad'
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:49, closed)

DAMN YOU!
I was just about to post that!
( Damocles wants no part of your debauchery, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:50, closed)

I was really hoping the replies to this would be of this standard
Keep it up folks. Am getting positively teary-eyed with nostalgia
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:53, closed)

I'm RIGHT in the MIDDLE of something, Ray!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 May 2010, 13:54, closed)

"Where do these stairs go?"
"They go up"

Best. Line. Ever. It's got to be.
(TheManofScience, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:18, closed)

Dunno
I quite like the line:

The next time someone asks you if are a God you say YES
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:32, closed)

Agreed
Also:

"Yes, it's true. This man has no dick"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:36, closed)

BACK OFF, man - I'm a scientist.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:59, closed)

I've always loved
"I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it!"
(Cylon Bum Raider already knows how this will end, Tue 18 May 2010, 16:45, closed)

Hahahahahahahaahaha
Oh fuck I'm totally going to watch that on the train tomorrow.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 May 2010, 17:11, closed)

Aim for the flat top!
Dunno why, that always cracks me up.
(McChinaman banned, Tue 18 May 2010, 23:43, closed)

I see
you managed to get some cock(roach) action into there. That is one very expensive weekend
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 May 2010, 14:41, closed)

Always the cock with you
*disapproving look*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 18 May 2010, 15:07, closed)

I think we had the same idiots in the library where I work.
But there's like three exterminators in the whole city, and when two of them are booked solid for a month, who you gonna call?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 18 May 2010, 19:59, closed)

You had me until the last line
I need to watch it again.
( MatJ LOOK, Wed 19 May 2010, 0:38, closed)

Nicely!

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 19 May 2010, 12:41, closed)