Pest Control - Experiments that were never carried out
Or The Arrival and Subsequent Undignified Demise of the Mouse in Flat 6.

This is another tale from the flat-which-was-basically-a-loft-conversion that I mentioned in my story on Page 2. This is about the time we had our first mouse.

My nervous and slightly neurotic flatmate was the first person to see it, and bless her, I have never seen a full-grown woman move so quickly from a slouch on a sunken-in sofa to a quivering, cross-legged perch on the nearest table in order to get away from our resident rodent.

Of course, the first thing we did was to call the landlord - "Ok, I'll send my handyman round with some traps," said he. I wasn't overly keen on the idea of traps - I know they're supposed to kill the mouse quickly, but they don't always kill it that quickly and can also be rather messy, so we started concocting ever more fabulous ways to kill our visitor - especially since the poison we'd put down didn't seem to be working.

1. Electric fence. I had a lot of broken guitar strings and access to a physics lab full of electrical bits and bobs. If I charge up a large capacitor with a very short time constant, then have exposed wires (the strings) either side of some bait, mousey can wander up, and go head first into the food, completing the circuit and thus discharging the capacitor through mousey. Abandoned because I know nothing of the electrical properties of mice, and also because my flatmates were convinced I'd electrocute myself instead.

2. Acid baths. For some reason, the previous tenants had left a bottle of concentrated sulphuric acid in the bathroom sink. One of my slightly-less-caring flatmates suggested we put little trays of the stuff in places where the mouse seemed to be regularly visiting, perhaps with some bait, and then its feet would be burned off before it sank like a melting iceberg into a pool of foul-smelling acid. Shelved for being downright horrific.

3. Large weight. Some sort of mechanism akin to the board game Mouse Trap, but which culminates in a large, heavy object being dropped on mousey, instead of the family-friendly plastic cage. We decided we were probably moving into the realms of fantasy by this stage. Similarly with a mechanism to trap mousey in the microwave.

And in the end, after we'd ruled out these options, the landlord's handyman appears with...glue traps.

Oh great. So we're going to stick the mouse to a piece of cardboard. And then what? We're on the top floor of this building with no garden into which we can release it.

So, the night mousey finally clattered onto the trap, I had to quite solemnly wrap up the mouse-and-glue-trap assembly in a newspaper and belt it with a hammer. Then we took it up onto the roof and burned the lot. At least he got a decent Viking funeral.

This story has since been relayed to many people - most of the women in my department now think I'm some sort of rodent-murdering monster, and that's even after I omitted our proposed "alternative methods" for catching the mouse...

Apologies for length: I'd like to think the poor little bugger didn't suffer on the glue trap for as long as you have in reading this.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:18, 18 replies)

I killed one in my mate's kitchen
With a wooden (training) samurai sword.

Did manage to smash a couple of mugs with the backswing attempting to kill the second mouse though, so I'm not sure this is the most effective method.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:23, closed)

when I was at uni
we had a mouse in our house, as did most people students.

ours left after a few days. don't think it could stand the smoke.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:29, closed)

fear me i'm teh killa of mice
so far up to six killed by my traps of doom, they love texan faijta sauce covered steak. Cheese, peanut butter and choclate were not for them.

maybe i have the family of speedy gonzolas mind not so speedy now....mwahh ha ha ha...
(imp123, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 15:41, closed)

@imp
You've just given me a good tip, thanks!

We've got mice: we caught the first 10 or so with chocolate on the traps, but they're now wise to that and ignoring it. I'll try some meat instead.

Of course, there's always the chance they'll develop the taste for flesh, and then we're doomed. Dooooomed, I tell you.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:03, closed)

@imp
Your Traps of Doom? What do these involve? I'm intrigued as to how you actually bump them off. (Particularly since we have the occasional rat in our new place...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:19, closed)

I use peanuts
on mousetraps. They work really well!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:23, closed)

I like rodents
So I dont like the whole 'bashing them with hammers' thing.

Anyway - I had some poor field mouse in my bedroom when I lived with my folks.

You can get humane traps that is basically a plastic see-saw - mouse goes in, one end goes down closing the door at the other end.

As for bait, ive always been told that peanuts & peanut butter is good because it has a stronger smell for them to find.
(ldwater otherwise known as a 'jive turkey', Wed 30 Jul 2008, 16:49, closed)

^ In my defence
I only bashed it with a hammer because it was the kindest thing to do in the circumstances. If I had tried to remove it from the glue trap, it would most likely have left its legs and a lot of skin behind. Believe me, I didn't enjoy killing it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:31, closed)

We had mice in our first flat
someone suggested "Get a cat" so I pounced on a fine excuse to talk MrWitch into letting me have a pet.

Natural pest control - he only had to kill three before the rest moved out. And I only had to barf three times cleaning up the dead mice!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 30 Jul 2008, 17:42, closed)

my housemate
found a flattened, elongated mouse in the washing machine, after she'd done her washing. so centrifugal force + soap + hot water = bad news for our murine friends. still, at least it was a clean death.
( ascorbate, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 19:24, closed)

My family
had a mouse-problem for 13 years. We tried all sorts of means of getting rid of the mice with no success. Until one day, we got a cat. The mice left soon after never to be heard from again... until the cat died.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 19:31, closed)

same thing
cats are the most effective way of clearing rodents, but if your allergic then ferrets or snakes are a handy replacement.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 20:19, closed)

Uber mice
The mice we had at uni were super-human. Or super-mousey? They ate 5 packs of the poisoned grain - apparently half a pack should've done it. We tried propping a heavy glass bowl up with a twix but that didn't work. In the end we hoovered it up. Vacuum cleaners kill mice. It was a Henry Hoover. Henry ate a mouse. I don't think his lady friend would like that fact very much!
( El Lazarus is calm now, Ish,, Wed 30 Jul 2008, 21:30, closed)

El Laz^^^
Super-Murine i think?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 30 Jul 2008, 22:03, closed)

i find that cheap clean-up
laquer thinner works well, specially in tight fume prone places. (plus it pickles them so the bodies dont stink)
( Azathoth thinks my name isn't so bad..., Wed 30 Jul 2008, 23:11, closed)

He won't be back.
I have mice, but our exterminator is called Arnie.

Job's a good 'un!
(Dr. Scambolic, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 0:43, closed)

ARF! @blaireau69
Very good. I approve of teh punnage.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:24, closed)

Our cat
usually catches mice outside, then brings them inside to play with them or to show his freshly caught toy to us.

Most of the times they are dead, but sometimes we wake at ungodly hours to screeching noises and we have to liberate the poor critter.
Worst case scenario the mouse is alive, but not functioning well anymore, so I have to 'help out' with a hammer... or a levelling slide.
(DrDoxy, Thu 31 Jul 2008, 10:54, closed)