Jeremy Fucking Clarkson
Why doesn't that horse-faced horse's-arse Jeremy Clarkson climb into a Ferrari Cunnilingus and drive at 200mph into a brick fucking wall. Or he could abandon those jeans and put on the nazi uniform so well-suited to his 'weltanschauung,' dowse himself in his beloved petrol and set fire to himself in protest at people who believe in global warming. Or he could strap himself into a Lamborghini Micropenis and drive at top speed with a blindfold on instead of strapping the children of non-tories to the bull-bars of his LandRover Chavcrusher SXi and playing dodgems with Northern oiks. Or, he could just SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!
(I really don't like him.)
(fergus the bogeyman Beware of geeks bearing gifs!, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 18:16, 20 replies)

He's a cunt
I REALLY don't like him. Cunt.
(Ivor Biggin, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 18:19, closed)

I'm sure he's terribly bothered...
he strikes me as the caring type.

I dislike the little angry one. Clarkson has made his name by being somewhat incorrect.I'm quite sure he's somewhat different away from the camera. Whereas I'm equally sure that Richard Hammond is a complete bellend away from the camera.
Everybody seems to like James May though. Must be the hair...
(Fausted Sticking his faust where the sun don't shine, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 18:43, closed)

Considering the mood I'm in...
I'll just calmly disagree with you. From the considerable stories I hear of him, he's a genuinely nice bloke. And this is from a close friend of mine who works quite closely with him.

Remember the Clarkson et al you see on TV is just a persona and the people in question are radically different in real life.

F'ristance, Capt Slow (aka James May) is by far the best driver of the three and is the only one VW trusted to take the Veyron to the maximum level of its capabilities.

/severely angry right now.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 6 Feb 2010, 19:30, closed)

Why so angry?

(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 20:15, closed)

A long and somewhat fucked up story.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 6 Feb 2010, 21:14, closed)

s
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 6 Feb 2010, 21:19, closed)

Persona?
OK - so he *chooses* to act like a cunt on telly? And in his books, newspaper columns and range of anal dildos?

Well, fair enough. That's completely altered my opinion of him then. He only pretends to be a nobhead. All the time.

*headdesk*
(nordelius, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 9:44, closed)

Pretty much, yes.
It's a brand- and a very successful one at that. And you seem to have been taken in by it rather well. I suggest perhaps you should read his columns in the Times to see the other side of Clarkson.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 8 Feb 2010, 12:03, closed)

Ah, I'm afraid I must disagree....
....for I believe the man to be a tall, curly bonced genius.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Sat 6 Feb 2010, 21:13, closed)

If Jermey Clarkson fucks you up the kipper that much, I've an idea that just might work.
DON'T FUCKING WATCH TOP GEAR!
There that was easy. Now go on, have a moan about the weather or just slope off for an angry wank.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 6 Feb 2010, 21:18, closed)

Dear Dear
Oh my, did I even mention Top Gear? I don't think I did. You probably don't read papers so I'll tell you that he has at least two columns in the Sunday Times and WH Smith is absolutely groaning with his pathetic DVDs, presumably aimed at bell-ends like your good self. And you may disagree with me but may I remind you that the topic was to say which celebs you hate and I hate HIM so forgive me for having my own opinion you angry little cunt. Jesus!
(fergus the bogeyman Beware of geeks bearing gifs!, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 0:20, closed)

Oh dear. One's bitten the hook here chaps.
Look you humourless gobshyting pisstrumpet, what do you expect. This is b3ta, a site which is all about having a spot of fun. You obviously don't get it or have a serious lack of it or you are just one of those whining cunts that give us Brits a bad name. I therefore suggest you either take it in the manner it was intended and stop attempting to use an online offensive persona in order to fuck me off. You would'nt call me a cunt to my face so don't do it on here fucko.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sun 7 Feb 2010, 15:27, closed)

"humourless gobshyting pisstrumpet"
^ HA! Fucking brilliant!
(zebby wasting irony here on, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 15:11, closed)

this should explain it all.
www.captainhoodbutter.co.cc
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 0:43, closed)

Oh my!
You really do have anger-management issues don't you? Calm down dear, it's only B3ta.
(fergus the bogeyman Beware of geeks bearing gifs!, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 16:32, closed)

I like him.
I don't like you very much.
(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sat 6 Feb 2010, 21:41, closed)

very well said
the man's an arse

(Clarkson, not Fergus)

Also, this made me laugh: www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMuO-8S_0Wg
(jennymnemonic, Sun 7 Feb 2010, 14:20, closed)

I fear he may be slightly up himself
He did a series of adverts for a certain telecommunications company that I work for. One such ad was filmed in one of our call centres and the great one was allegedly somewhat dismissive of the staff therein when they attempted to speak to their hero.
I've also been on stage with him, Tiff Needell & Quentin Wilson. In the backstage area beforehand, both Pubehead and Tiffany seemed totally self-absorbed, while QW was an absolute gentleman.
I have no doubt that he plays up to his persona, and he may be an absolute arse in real life, but I forgive him because he once punched that smug cunt Piers Morgan
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sun 7 Feb 2010, 14:45, closed)

Right or wrong.....
I dont care, but I sooooooooo want a "LandRover Chavcrusher SXi"!!!!!! BEST MODEL NAME EVER!!
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 13:03, closed)

Can't believe I got to page 12 before someone mentioned Clarkson
The whole cunt thing may well be an 'act', but I reserve the right to dislike someone for 'acting' like a cunt even if in real life he breeds kittens to give free of charge to orphans.
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 22:08, closed)