Another school chum.
Alby's gonna have fun with this one.

I had a mate, Bruce who I went to school with. He was a smart fellow who despite losing both his parents at a young age was fairly fortunate to have been left a moderately sizeable fortune. There were of course, all sorts of rumours about what exactly had befallen but all Brucey ever told me was "they got in the way of a couple of bullets - teach them to try and stand up to a mugger!"
Bruce always seemed to lean towards the darker side of things - his sense of humour made Ainsley Harriot look positively Michael Jackson-esque.

After school we both ended up at uni and this is where Bruce's proclivity for dressing up and role play came to the fore. He would turn up at pretty much everything in a dark cowl, black cloak and a tight onsey black suit. Suffice to say - all the chicks loved it as he would perch himself somewhere broodingly. TBH tho, due to him owning and running a large multi-national corporation he did tend to have some nice toys to play with. And a pretty fucking sweet ride.
I'd be a liar tho if I didn't say that sometimes playing dressups with Bruce was kinda fun - it got me where I am today.

After uni we headed our own way - I steadily rose thru the ranks of my chosen field after my coming out as a new fresh faced debutante. I was eventually designing for most of the big fashion houses. I found out that Brucey had headed OS to go on sabbatical. China or somewhere. Apparently he made himself a raft of new enemies whilst he was at it.
Me I just worked hard and did all I could to better myself in my work.

A few years later I caught up with Bruce in a rather awkward situation. I'd been at a law enforcement convention peddling my wares and a call came out that a BIG JOB was in progress. The nice deputy commissioner James offered to give me a ride along to see Brucey perform.
Things were uncomfortable to say the least when I caught up with him on the rooftop. He acknowledged me. All I could do was shake my head at his choice in dressup clothing. Especially the cape.

It was a couple of years later that I heard that Brucey had shacked up with a young fella named Dick who was apparently from a travelling circus. Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against fucking gypos. I just think he could do better.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 6:11, 19 replies)

ok, i'll get this one out of the way...
Star Wars?

.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 7:50, closed)

Admiral Adama
was on board the Enterprise at the time.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 7:57, closed)

I don't think so.
Given the phrases "his sense of humour made Ainsley Harriot look positively Michael Jackson-esque", and "fucking gypos", I'd go for lazy racism instead.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 8:48, closed)

Well spotted.
I was hoping that would get past most of the ever-so erudite posters here.


You got me.
EDIT: You did actually miss the implied homophobia as well btw.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:21, closed)

You implied, I did not infer.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:34, closed)

Witless racism from an under-educated Australian? Unpossible.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:22, closed)

I couldn't wait for you to turn up.
Not like it was going to be a long wait or anything...
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:31, closed)

Still..
...you did wait.
(immadme, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 17:15, closed)

Just to let you know that I haven't read this post on the basis that all your other ones are shit
and I will assume this one is as well unless someone advises differently.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:43, closed)

Nobody ever reads them but people still reply and he still strains at his greasy little nubbin with the thrill of the attention.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 9:52, closed)

Cheers.
Again.

I think.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:01, closed)

Well whatever he has to do to get him through the day I s'pose...

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:25, closed)

Good on you for responding!

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:00, closed)

Welcome hun xxx

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:25, closed)

Whatever gets you thru the day, darling.

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:49, closed)

Well this doesn't, but other stuff does. I think that's fundamentally where we differ...

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:47, closed)

Oh. Petal.
:[ Sad times.

Nvm.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:19, closed)

I think where you fundamentally differ is that you're a functioning adult human being.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:33, closed)

Says the man who appears to spend more time on here writing
hundreds of thousands of hate-filled vitriolic replies to posts than he does doing anything else.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 20:32, closed)