Unloco parentis
This is probably common to a lot of parents but the thought of finding myself in a situation where I can't protect or care for my children frightens the fucking life out of me.

Undoubtedly this is some inadequacy-related shit but there are moments, usually triggered by being over-tired, where it can be utterly terrifying.

Couldn't watch United 93, for instance. That was me, on that plane, with my children, and I could do nothing. My wife watched it and I just paced round the house having a walking fucking nightmare.

Surely this can't be just me.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 1:55, 18 replies)

mumsnet
I can empathise with this, to a degree - I can't stand to read news reports concerning harm to children (boy in china found with eyes missing, asks why everything is dark) now that I have kids of my own, whereas before I could have read them quite easily. Not dispassionately, but they certainly would not have made me feel sick to my core before.
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 5:35, closed)

Yes, that too. I was never a goremonster but post-parenthood I've acquired fiction/news-related empathy to a ridiculous degree.
My children have died a thousand deaths with me only able to look on in horror.

I've been barred from Mumsnet for scaremongering.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:50, closed)

Banned from Mumsnet?
I presume you were beyond fuming at such vile behaviour. Very unprofessional.

Still, it's well worth going back as a visitor to to browse "Relationships" - it's a never ending Jeremy Kyle show.
(ubergeekian, Thu 18 Sep 2014, 2:30, closed)

fuck, dude, imagine what it'd be like if they were actually yours

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 8:17, closed)

(spl00sh!, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 9:26, closed)

I heard Shambles built his out of Lego.
That's what I heard.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 9:45, closed)

Single serve only?

(spl00sh!, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:05, closed)

upset Lego ghost has lost one of his paddles

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:26, closed)

Now that's quite a separate scenario.
One in which I exact gory retribution a la Friday 13th etc. I can't spill the beans but I can spill your intestines...
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:53, closed)

easy now ... I'm not the father
I only did her in the arse and face
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 14:45, closed)

That's OK, she hardly noticed.

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 20:35, closed)

In a not particularly shocking twist, the plane crashes at the end.
You've not really missed out.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 9:11, closed)

I genuinely mis-read the third from last word in the penultimate sentence
first time around
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 9:28, closed)

What, waking?

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 12:51, closed)

As per my post about outliving my sprogs.
I think as they get older you just have to learn that they're going to take their own risks, regardless of what you do or say. Letting go and all that.
I suppose when they are young there's little you can do about facing scary kid-involved situations apart from survive them and learn the lesson.
Trust me as your kids turn into teenagers all the bowel loosening fears you had for them when they were younger won't mean shit.
(spl00sh!, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:19, closed)

lol
grandad
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 15 Sep 2014, 10:26, closed)

I can always make more

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 16 Sep 2014, 2:28, closed)

Soft underbelly exposed
I once told my 2 kids that if I lose sight of them when we're out, I panic.

The little fuckers invented an awesome new game that very day. It's called "Run in opposite directions when at the shop".

I don't know whether to be angry or proud that my kids have turned into twats, just like their old man.
(csdaveuk, Tue 16 Sep 2014, 10:07, closed)