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This is a question First World Problems

Onemunki says: We live in a world of genuine tragedy, starvation and terror. So, after hearing stories of cruise line passengers complaining at the air conditioning breaking down, what stories of sheer single-minded self-pity get your goat?

(, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:00)
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Dog Food
Dogs. They're an environmental disaster area.

Here we are facing the doom of Global Warming (Oh no! Oh no! Turn that light off! You'll kill us all!), constantly being told that we have to count our carbon emissions and make everything clean and green, but nobody seems to mention these nasty little rats that spend their time scarfing down "prime meaty chunks" of some big brand, high status dog food. To hell with the fact that your smelly arse-licking mutt will get through enough of this stuff in a year to create equivalent carbon emissions to that big, fat, wave your wad out the window, fuck off out of my way Audi Q7 cuntmobile that's sitting in the drive.

If the little bastards are quite happy eating prime cuts of hog anus, then that's what you feed them. There are enough bits of animal that get chucked out that we don't want so feed them that instead of giving them the good stuff. Forget Caesar, think Tesco Value cow brain and testicles flavour. But no, can't possibly have that. The owner's got to pamper their rotten pavement fowling pooch, got to give them the best because the pet food industry has conned them into believing that only the best will do because, hey, Fido's a member of the family too.

If all of these politicians and so-call environmentalists were serious about saving the planet, they'd be out culling dogs instead of badgers.
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:47, 24 replies)
I have to agree with you on this one. My encounters with dogs have always been extremely negative.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:50, closed)
They don't seem to understand...
Pissing on your shoes whilst you are in them isn't the best way to put you in a good mood! (out of them isn't much better)
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 20:58, closed)

A dog pissed on your shoes while you were inside him. Well yeah can't blame him. Stop fucking dogs, sicko.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 7:31, closed)
Couldn't agree more. I hate all animals. Just the thought of animals make my skin crawl and my teeth itch. Unless I'm eating them. I like them then.

(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 21:16, closed)
Surely kids are even worse?
Kids demand not only food but clothing also, and usually require larger accomodation with heating. Then, as they get older, they demand electronic goods, fancy footwear made in sweatshops and the like.
Children are fucking terrible for the environment, and don't even get me started on the leaving broken glass everywhere, breaking into houses and stabbing people so many end up doing...
(, Tue 6 Mar 2012, 21:34, closed)
here here
Couldn't agree more.
Love dogs, when they are working on the farm. Not when they are humping cushions and shitting on the footpath.
live next door to two 'stomp-ons' who yap indiscriminately and shit everywhere. Can't really see what the owners get out of the deal.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 6:47, closed)
Are you suggesting that dog food is actually made from quality meat?
I must say that I find that rather unlikely, unless dog food manufacturers have taken the decision to knowingly lower their profit margins (given that dogs will happily eat feces, it seems unlikely that there is any benefit in putting quality meat in their tins).
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 8:25, closed)
I could be wrong Munch old boy
and please feel free to shoot me down in flames if i prove to be, but isn't there an EU regulation that all ingredients for dog food have to be fit for human consumption? I know that some firms employ human dog food tasters.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 9:38, closed)
"fit for human consumption" covers a multitude of sins, though.
The mysterious grey mush that fills Asda's sausage rolls, Fray Bentos pies, and Turkey Twizzlers, to name but three. Not what I'd call quality meat, not by a long shot.

That said, dog food being certified as fit for humans is news to me, but rather amusing if it is true!

Edit: Wikipedia backs you up, although it only states that the animals used need to be fit for human consumption, but not which bits of the animal. Think I'll avoid whatever it is in the cat's bowl.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 9:44, closed)
Well the
entire argument about what goes into processed food is another kettle of swimmy things altogether. Sadly the only way to truly know what goes into your food is to make everything yourself from scratch and even then its impossible to know exactly what chemicals have been used on your veg/in the animal feed. I do know you don't get white dog poo anymore because they stopped using bone meal in dog food.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 10:03, closed)
It's been a while
since I got nostalgic about white dog poo.
Let's have a minutes silence, in rememberance.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:00, closed)
My dog does white poos
Because I give him bones, and feed him on 19p raw meat, like dogs are supposed to eat!

Not sure I agree 100% with the OP, though...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 11:33, closed)
I thought that dogs
were supposed to eat other dogs?
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 15:19, closed)
No, that's zombie dogs

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 15:56, closed)

no place for them in suburbia unless they are assisting a blind/disabled/elderly person. other than that the only dogs in suburbia should have slots in their heads for coin donations.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 8:28, closed)

Yup. Same for cats, cars and motorcycles, and old people. They have no use and just pollute.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 10:47, closed)

Seriously though, dogs have been companions as well as used for work for thousands of years, long before suburbs, cars and the meat industry (which contributes the worst of the ozone depletion i am told) so your point seems unsound.
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 13:23, closed)

youre right - suburbs are the real problem
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 18:43, closed)

I don't see a problem. What is your problem exactly?
(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 15:22, closed)
"pavement fowling"?
I think I see a "why did the chicken cross the road" joke coming...
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 9:24, closed)
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken
(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 18:18, closed)
Did your parents prefer the dog to you perchance?

(, Wed 7 Mar 2012, 14:51, closed)

Probably just acted like a complete mong around a dog once, and it bit him. Just a coward.
(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 15:24, closed)
Fuck you, you cat loving cunt.

(, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 0:06, closed)

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