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This is a question B3TA fixes the world

Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53)
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Lightning rods for giraffes
Far too many giraffes are getting killed TO DEATH by lightning because they are the tallest thing on the savannah. And when there aren't enough giraffes to go round, starving leopards smuggle themselves out of Africa and roam the streets of provincial English towns looking for prey. And taking our jobs, or something.

I propose, then, to prevent a world giraffe shortage, we install lightning rods on all at-risk giraffes, (and perhaps ostriches as well) so that they aren't frazzled to a crisp before the leopards get them.

That means that whenever there's a storm, the lightning will always strike - and kill utterly TO DEATH - the second-tallest thing on the savannah, that being double decker busses full of American tourists.

Problem SOLVED.
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:26, 4 replies)
"giraffe shortage"
pffft.
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:36, closed)
Once this has been done, are we allowed to saddle the giraffes for an American tourist hunting safari?

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 16:12, closed)
YES
Also, I am sure we can pool our resources and market Rabid Giraffes, for biting very tall people.
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 16:14, closed)
This time next year, rodders...
The first thing you feel when a rabid giraffe is creeping up behind you is a delicate drop of foam on the top of your head.
(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 16:28, closed)

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