Beware of pancake batter
When I was younger and experimenting, I made up a batch of pancake batter with a cup of warm water. The consistency was incredible, and I proceeded to slather it all over down there, and in the shower had a wank that was just exquisite. I remember thinking, "Wow, that was fantastic, like warm soft mud... This is a keeper; I'll be doing this again very soon."

Cleaning up was a bit of a bother, as I noticed that the stuff really sticks to body hair. Took quite a while, but I got it off, or so I thought. The next morning, I had these white spots on my sack, under the skin, some as large as cashews. I was perplexed, until I realized what had happened: I didn't get all the batter off the hairs, and at night as I slept, somehow it had moved down the follicles. I couldn't bring myself to actually try cutting them out, as I knew pain would be involved.

Well, that was over 12 years ago, and they're all still there. Once every few years one of the smaller ones will get pinched on accident, causing it to swell and "pop", leaking out the fluid and eventually a nice little ball of what is obviously white pancake batter. But otherwise, they don't hurt and are more of a novelty to anyone who sees.

Now I'm hungry for pancakes, cooked of course.
(Jaycatt, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:43, 12 replies)

This sounds too awesome to be true. Can you not pop them? Is it not tempting?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:53, closed)

awesome?
i think you meant to say "revolting". ballbags are ugly little fuckers at the best of times, without the added bonus of cashew-sized lumps that occasionally pop and spew a pus-like substance.

*gags*
(surlygirl spanked your monkey on, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:56, closed)

Yep
Im with you on this one!!
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:58, closed)

Arghh
That is grotesque. However, I agree with the novelty, and I probably shouldn't say this but:

POIDH
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 17:00, closed)

^this
with added Jif.
( Sunburn Go on.... It's character building!, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 17:04, closed)

good lord no

cashew sized lumps of puss/pankake batter on a scrotum

has just been added to my list of things I don't want to see, ever
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 17:16, closed)

retches
12 year old pancake batter doing what, where :(
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 18:42, closed)

wow
that's quite breathtakingly grim. good work.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 9:39, closed)

You owe me chocolate
I just spat out a mouthful of mine in disgust. MINDBLEEEEACH PLEASE!
(berk, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 11:31, closed)

Please
don't ever come to my clinic.


Please?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 8 Aug 2009, 22:59, closed)

Sounds more like...
you have some sebaceous cysts.
The bastards won't go away unless surgically removed...
Painless... if embarrassing...
(bof, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 13:28, closed)

Oh dear God
That is really fetid.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 14:40, closed)