I wonder how much fun you could have with a roasted pea?
Frankly, the way my love life is going at the moment, I would stand a high chance of being rejected by a cucumber. So allow me, if you will, to repost this slippery little gem.

I was watching a dvd round at a friend’s house a while back. Her housemate was upstairs enjoying some very vocal love action with her boyfriend. Suddenly, it went quiet. Then there was a rather loud “Ooooooow”. A door slammed and we heard footsteps running down the stairs. She burst into the living room wearing nothing but a towel, ran straight past us into the kitchen. She then ran back out clutching a half full pack of butter, pausing only to say…

“Anal. Ran out of lube…”

…before running back upstairs to carry on.

I have never eaten toast round at my friend’s house since.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 13:32, 8 replies)

Wrong, wrong wrong
Spit and polish does the trick I'm told.

On a brighter note, I bet you're lovely really and no self respecting cucumber would say no.
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 14:31, closed)

You were told wrong
Spit is not at all sufficient lubrication for anal - unless she's incredibly loose. Or you're incredibly small.

Oh, and don't bother with KY, that stuff is useless. Maximus or Liquid silk FTW.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 0:48, closed)

I should offer...
... to end your dry patch just because of your sig.

Never has a truer word been said.
(Uncle Jumbo will strip for pocket change (and/or Gin), Fri 7 Aug 2009, 15:20, closed)

Dry patch
*sniggers*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 15:38, closed)

I can't believe it's not...

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 15:31, closed)

Molest my cabage
I've seen a few butter faces in my time but never a butter bummer
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 16:11, closed)

It may be a pearoast
but this is surely a classic.

* click *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 10 Aug 2009, 20:55, closed)

Anal Butter
Yeah, baby. Doin' it Brando-style!
(bergec is filled with inertia, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 18:21, closed)