Families.
Reading Battered's post has reminded me of a little old man who was sitting in the snug of my local many years ago.
I'd wandered up with the wife for a quiet beer on a quiet night. In fact, there were only the three of us in there.

I went up to the bar for a refill and noticed L.O.M. quietly sobbing in the corner. So I asked if he was okay.

"I've buried my Wife today" Said he.

I came out with the usual banal imbecilic platitudes reserved for such occasions and he cut me short.

"I knew she was dying and it wasn't a shock.
It was going back to my place for the wake and being locked in the front room while my kids ransacked the rest of my home."

No doubt they were all muttering the mantra of the greedy.


"She always wanted me to have this".

Cunts.
(Docofair, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 22:25, 21 replies)

Aww
That's really sad :(
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 22:50, closed)

Yes it is,
and strangely all the other replies were from the trolls I have on ignore.
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Sat 13 Apr 2013, 16:53, closed)

I have literally no idea what this means.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 22:55, closed)

My apologies Janet
Which bit did you misunderstand?
(Docofair, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 23:29, closed)

There is something missing
from it, I can't make head nor tail of it either.

Wanted him to have what?
(username failed moderation, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:08, closed)

Are the pair of you retarded or something?
The old bloke's kids locked him in his front room and went through all his and his wife's belongings, basically stealing it all as though he was dead too. It's not hard, learn to fucking read.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:11, closed)

Stop being so angry
you witless cretin.
(username failed moderation, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:57, closed)

Only if you stop being so witless
you angry cretin.
( finnbar has officially retired, Sat 13 Apr 2013, 9:31, closed)

Yes, but what is it that the wife wanted him to have?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:26, closed)

An evening in the pub, obviously

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:35, closed)

I think that is the mantra of the greedy,
As in, that's what the kids could have been saying as an excuse to rob this old man of all his possessions.
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 12:30, closed)

Ohhhh! I get it!
Right!

Yes. OK - grand.

Depressing story, written badly; the importance of grammar - a colon after greedy would have made it far more readable.

I give this QOTW answer 3/10.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 14:11, closed)

Thank you sir.

(Docofair, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:27, closed)

Gout.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 13:28, closed)

I think it was meant to read
'the mantra of the greedy: "She always wanted me to have this!"' implying the children were going through old possessions, telling themselves their mother was going to bequeath the item to them anyway so it was fine to just take it.
( Bats, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 14:56, closed)

mnnnngghhh

( 4Q just lurking, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 17:30, closed)

I bet they stuck him in a home within the year so they could sell the house too.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 8:49, closed)

Thank you sir.
In my defence I was pissed.
(Docofair, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:29, closed)

Don't worry
The trolls don't have that excuse to fall back on.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 14:19, closed)

To be fair...
... I also struggled to work out what she wanted him to have so (no pun intended) happy to arrive late and find it had been answered.

If I was him I'd have changed my will to leave it all to a hamster called Gerald*

*or other hamsterly name.
(fivetide, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 16:05, closed)

Click
Why - that made my blood boil. And we need some good story telling on this dull week.
(justin(e), Wed 17 Apr 2013, 13:43, closed)