i worked at a college....
and i had to tell people how to log in, using their date of birth for part of their password. when i realised one of my favourite records was older than the 16 year ols before me, i thought, me and drum and bass are old.
(bruxia, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 14:13, Reply)

Funny Bone
When you are young, it is kinda funny when you bang your elbow.

When you are old, there are few pains like hitting your elbow on a hard surface.
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 13 Jun 2012, 13:37, 1 reply)

B3ta
I remember when this was all text fields (Sorry)
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 13:24, 1 reply)

I want to buy a caravan or motorhome.

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 13:07, 13 replies)

The realisation that I am no longer made of rubber...
When you are young you bounce - bumps, falls and cuts are met with crying and pain, only for you to have forgotten all about it five minutes later and gone back to playing, and a week later even the scar has done a runner leaving behind some fresh and pristine new skin. Broken bones? Sure a broken arm may ruin your plans of going swimming in the summer holidays, but 6 weeks later it is all forgotten about.

Skip forwards to the point I realised I am getting older when I noticed that instead of vanishing into thin air, all those minor bumps and scrapes are sticking about and leaving their mark on my skin months later. The broken bone that was a month of annoyance now becomes an eternity of hope that it will heal properly and endless twinges and pain left behind for the future.

Not that this changes what I do at all, tree climbing is just as much fun in your 20's, setting fire to stuff in the garden just as amusing as always (if perhaps somewhat larger in scale nowadays) and riding about on my bike still brings a smile to my face.

Sod the scars, a permanent reminder to myself that growing up doesn't mean stopping having fun and doing silly things...
(442, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 12:54, 1 reply)

VIC-20 16Kb RAM module. $100.
8Gb USB flash drive. $8.

That is all.
(MrCanoehead Marzipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 12:13, 5 replies)

barbers
When you go to get a haircut and when theyve finished you dread when they bring out the mirror and show you how neatly they have trimmed the back but with a quick flick of the wrist speedily sweep past showing you the top of the back of your head so as to not freak you out at your barren crown. Also last time I was in th baber asked me if I had hair plugs. I have no idea what he meant, but took it as an insult and havent had a haircut in 2 years. Fuck it, it pisses off folk that a 40 year old has long hair, looking forward to going full 'hogan'
(liquidspanner, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 11:48, 4 replies)

I sometimes think I was born aged 55
I like cricket, and tea, and the Telegraph cryptic crossword. I don't care for pubs where I can't sit down and the music is too loud. And I don't understand Facebook.

However, at least I came to that realisation back in my 20's, when, upon drunk with a couple of friends, and they, with the devil-may-care attitude of youth, suggested that being young, single, drunk and within staggering distance of a double bed might be a good excuse for a threesome, I declined with the genuine excuse of...

"Actually, they're excavating the grounds of Coventry Cathedral on Time Team and I'd really like to watch it..."

There's no hope.

*tucks in tartan blanket and pops on the Antiques Roadshow*
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 11:47, 2 replies)

If I don't have to get up in the night for a piss
and Mrs G doesn't wake me up in the night when she goes for a piss, then I feel really good in the morning.

If my back doesn't ache after a few stretches, I feel brilliant.

If I can get into my work trousers without too much effort, I feel fucking brilliant.

If I manage to avoid Anne Atkins on 'Thought for the Day' that's a total win.


Yep, when you get to my age, life is one, long list of positives.

Well, that's on a good day.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 11:24, 1 reply)

When GILF is acceptable...
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Consider this.
The mean age of a b3tan I'm guessing is about 40.
Now go backwards in time in 20 yr. increments. Then 10 yrs.
1992 - the internet was still very much a burbling, shitting infant and mobile phones were rare devices that were about the same size as todays Dell thin clients.
1982 - 'Puters were big lots of tape machines in climate controlled rooms. Phones were things you argued over answering at home.
1962 - 'Puters were buildings. Many phones had to be connected thru a switchboard manned by gossipy ladies.
& so on.
On the flip side -
Data storage - "Barry's cave walls are full, let's finish this painting in Clive's cave."
"Oi, Joe!" across the camp. "Yes Norman?", "What-are-ya-up-to?", "Not a lot Norm, sitting around the fire eating yesterdays kill and fucking Shirelle. You?"
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 13 Jun 2012, 9:35, 17 replies)

Sat outside a pub once
...and spotted a rather attractive shrub in the soil bedding next to our table. Phwoarr. Took a little piece off it in order to grow one at home, and felt OLD.
(Schindler's Wrist Brimful of asha and a P45, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 9:18, Reply)

My dog was so cute as a puppy.
A mischievous little thing, he was.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Tinnitus
My ears ring constantly as a result of listening to far too much loud music from when I was a teenager right the way into my mid-twenties. Getting to sleep at night is always a challenge, and I usually have to rely on a cocktail of booze and sleeping tablet along with distracting sounds played through my laptop to manage it. As such, at the grand old age of 27 I find myself shying away from all things loud. I wouldn’t even consider going to a gig, club, rave whatever without proper earplugs now, but in truth I’d probably still give it a miss anyway. Even going to a noisy bar fills be with a certain amount of dread.

Look after your hearing, kids.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 9:08, 6 replies)

Every time someone complains about the weather...

I think 'yeah but it's great for the garden', and about how green my lawn is.
(Schindler's Wrist Brimful of asha and a P45, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 9:08, Reply)

Smooth
Peanut butter.
(Suck it and Sea, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 8:52, Reply)

fuck socks
Many things remind me that I am constantly aging.
A few that where funny to other people,

My 8 year old starting a question with “in the olden days, when you where a teenager…….”

Looking at photo’s from my sister’s wedding, where my Dad and I wore similar suits, seeing a profile photo of my Dad from the profile angle, commenting to my Mum, “ohhh, Dad’s chubbed up a bit, I didn’t realize” to which she replied, “Baddie, that’s you”.

Or at the Surf Club putting away some boards and slipped on a puddle of water. One of the 20ish year old members makes the comment, “not sure that’s a job for an old bloke”.

Bloody hell, I just turned 40! 40 is the new 20 (I just keep telling myself).
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 8:23, Reply)

Slippers.
Armpit trousers.
Shouting at the telly.
Casual racism.
Free food brought to you.
Man, being old is AWESOME.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 13 Jun 2012, 7:29, Reply)

This was all
usenet and bbs's as far as the eye could see.
When I were a lad.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 13 Jun 2012, 6:53, Reply)

Mummy, what happens when you die?
You respawn at the nearest checkpoint darling.

I have been playings MMORGs longer than I have been a parent. The first was EverQuest. Sodding hell ...
(Que?, Wed 13 Jun 2012, 2:06, 1 reply)

The
Wanker next to me on the train. He's a mate, ten years younger than me, has his own house, a Porsche (56 plate).

Didn't wear a rubber.

Going bald, well the bits that are not grey, a new job (in 5 months) and he is whinging.

He's 33.

Grab life by the balls or someone else will.

And always rubber up / wear sunscreen.
(Suck it and Sea, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 23:57, Reply)

I had to get a new passport last year
When i went to get my photo done the stupid machine gave me a set of pictures of my dad.
(champagnerocker, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 23:50, Reply)

New bike blues
I bought a new bicycle for the first time in twenty years. Things have changed a little.

"Ooh, 21 gears - that's a lot - 18 more than my last bike."
"That's the lowest number we carry in stock sir."
"Where are the mudguards?"
"You have to buy those separately."
"And the pump?"
"You have to buy that separately too."

I decided not to ask for a pair of bike clips. I felt like Mel Smith, trying to "buy a gramophone".
 
( finnbar has officially retired, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 21:19, 1 reply)

This
were all p-n doping regions when I were a lad...
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 21:09, 2 replies)

You're older than you've ever been..
..and now you're even older, and now you're even older, and now you're even older,
you're older than you've ever been and now you're even older. And now your older still.

bindun?
(lordy lordy, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 19:29, Reply)

I remember
the six million dollar man, and black and white telly, and a time before computers, and my uncle bringing a digital watch home from Japan and the whole family gathering around to look at it. Life may be short, but it's still too long. Sometimes I think it just goes on and on.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:30, 5 replies)

You know...
...that lost feeling that creeps over you when you walk into a room, stop and pause, and then can't remember what you went in for?

That just happened to me.

Only the room was called Asda.

I even had a trolly with me
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 18:18, 1 reply)

I have no inkling
of what pleasure is to be gained by saying "Woop! Woop!" when on the telephone.

I am irritated by the fact that Chicago Rock Cafés are neither in Chicago, don't play any rock and are not cafés.

I have no desire to own a Superdry branded jacket.
( Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 17:27, 4 replies)