Be careful what you wish for.
Our decision to have a 3rd child (pressure from me) resulted in a lovely boy, but age (and I guess genetics) counted against us. He is a nice kid, but severely Autistic (a thousandfold more so than Rory Lyon or any other self proclaimed "Autistic" on here) with a good dash of ADHD added to the mix.

He is violent in his outbursts, beyond language or learning, strong, immune to danger or self harm, only just (barely) toilet trained at 6 years old, destined to a life of full-time care, which weighs heavily on our minds.

Yes we avoided kids early, and played catch-up in our thirties.

Aging can be cruel for couples wanting to extend their brood.

But, life is now extremely interesting, and will be so forever more.

Not saying this will happen to you at all, it was just one of those quirks of nature (he is happy and completely ignorant by his condition), but in quieter moments I think of how easy life was before I pressured for that decision. But as a previous Australian Prime Minister once famously said: "Life wasn't meant to be easy". Easy when you come from wealth.

Mind you, in reading back across the self absorbed crap I have just written, I wouldn't change anything. It makes you focus on important things (financial stability, family happiness, always have a damp cloth to hand), and brush aside minor issues that others find terribly important (coffee shop doesn't serve decaf, slow internet connections, posting unnecessarily nasty and inflammatory replies to strangers on internet forums etc).

I wish you genuine success, and if it doesn't happen, throw the cup of piss at the cat.
( Ken Oath, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 4:37, 3 replies)

/whistles Hey Jumbo!
Yes sir, that is indeed the elephant in the room when rattling Fate's dice in your late 30s.

Now, I'll saddle up that elephant and head out on the school run.

/dons Pith helmet
(Que?, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 5:42, closed)

That's tough.
We had out first child last year, my wife was 36 at the time. At the first scan they couldn't find the nasal bone, which is an indicator for Downs Syndrome. Rather than wait another 8 weeks for the following scan we paid to have one after another 4 weeks, thankfully they saw it that time.

I don't know what we would have done if further tests had confirmed that the baby had Downs.

Thankfully we have a healthy, happy baby girl.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 8:02, closed)

You haven't rubbed that in enough, you should highlight the relevant parts in bold and italics just so he gets the message
he's a bit on the slow side, what with it being a family trait
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 8:05, closed)

Settle down,
...you really need to see a psychologist. Your persistent need to offend screams of a serious mental condition. Your social skills are limited to attention seeking behaviours and you make extraordinary efforts to not just offend, but actively bully and pursue others. And you wonder why I cited you as the pinnicle of high functioning Autism? Did it offend you? Seemed to have touched a nerve judging by your reaction. Get yourself some treatment, you may find it fun, but no-one likes, wants to help or be associated with self absorbed nasty cowards.
( Ken Oath, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:03, closed)

I'm guessing you'll get short shrift here Rory
most'll have you on ignore.
I just can't cause it's so fucking funny to see you make such a blundering, gauche fool of yourself.
You are my François Pignon.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:08, closed)

haven't you got arses to wipe?
chop chop
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:16, closed)

What?!
Oh wait - you assumed cause I work in an oldies home that I'm a carer (a noble and compassionate vocation).
You fucking numpty. Could I possibly be doing something else in an oldies home other than caring.
My god, if it wasn't so funny it'd be sad.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:24, closed)

He's referring to your vocation I think?

( Ken Oath, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:29, closed)

Dunno, given your low intellect and obesity levels you're clearly more than cut out to be a carer.
We'll discount management, so I suppose that leaves you wiping up shit from the toilet and the incontinence bins or you spend all day sat on your fat arse reading the adventures of spot the dog to people whacked on risperidone as 'activities champion'.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:50, closed)

You're just angling to fill the vacant position after your last carer quit

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 10:02, closed)

Whoops.
You missed out on me replacing light fittings, fitting new taps, putting screws in walls to hold up pictures and generally making the facility safe.
Fuck me, your world-view is very narrow and slanted - ever thought of getting a campaign manager & going into politics?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 10:15, closed)

Hey Rory..
...what do you do for a living? Seriously.
( Ken Oath, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:30, closed)

Big and srs bizness

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:50, closed)

Living with your Mummy
and inter-breeding hamsters to sell on ebay isn't the biz.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 10:16, closed)

well yours must get busy rory
Given that you talk as well as shit out of it
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Tue 12 Jun 2012, 11:16, closed)

You really are a fucking twat aren't you.

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 10:17, closed)

I think you would have just
Got on with life, just like now.
( Ken Oath, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 9:38, closed)

Yeah, that'd be hilarious given his hatred of spastics and the disabled
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1635183
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 10:00, closed)

Good old Internet:
gives everyone just enough rope.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 12:34, closed)

We drew some of those cards too, when we had our second daughter (my wife was 35)
Autistic spectrum disorder, violent outbursts, inconsistent success using the toilet, no sense of danger, no fear, significant learning difficulties. Currently she's in mainstream school (at 7) but they're keeping her back in September and a special school is most likely on the cards for the future.

We also had the worry in pregnancy of signs of a possible genetic disorder picked up on the scan. Fortunately the amniocentesis came back clear.

We've got the issue of long-term care on the horizon too, so my advice to the OP is think very carefully.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 11:29, closed)