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This is a question Turning into your parents

Unable to hold back the genetic tide, I find myself gardening in my carpet slippers, asking for a knife and fork in McDonalds and agreeing with the Daily Telegraph. I'm beyond help - what about you?

Thanks to b3th for the suggestion

(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 13:39)
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I chanced upon this QOTW when I was feeling a bit down.
I've just been to the local Mobility shop to browse their (admittedly fine, and extensive) range of 'low range scooters' (they only go 12 miles before needing plugging in).

Not for me, for my dad. I'm 26 and he is 66. After his stroke two years ago, he has become almost totally dependent on me. I go shopping for him, cut his hair, help wash him, clean for him, and the rest. And I'm no martyr - he's done the same for me, and then some.

I never thought that at my age (or his) that I'd be caring for him as if he was my child, not my dad. He's 'all there' (ie, still a cynical awkward old Northern sod ;) ) and I've had to teach him to speak, read and write. He's come so far. And yet him wanting this scooter is brilliant to me, because he can nip to the shops, buy milk and bread, and go for a walk. Well, a scoot, anyhow.

I turned into a parent, somehow, and now I think like a parent, despite not having children of my own yet. I buy him treats, worry about him when he goes somewhere in a taxi, and I phone him to make sure he's had a healthy dinner. As a result I've become a lot more pragmatic and patient in the rest of my life, which has meant I very rarely get stressed, as nothing fazes me now.

In a few weeks I'm getting married. Dads are supposed to be proud of their daughters on their wedding day. But watching my dad take those few difficult steps down the aisle with me, and listening to him speak, will make me the proudest daughter in the world.

I will probably cry!
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:03, 26 replies)
A heart warming story. *clickety*
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:06, closed)
Well done you!

And early congratumalations on your wedding day too. All the best from a random internet stranger
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:06, closed)
This warms my cockles...

I'm sure your dad is immensely proud of you.

I know I am.

*Wedding clicks*
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:08, closed)
*echoes what Pooflake said*
and clicks
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:12, closed)
You're a better women than me love.
I don't know if I would have the patience to do the same thing.

Congratulation on your forthcoming nuptuals btw.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:13, closed)
got me a bit mushy...


just lovely...
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:25, closed)
Genuine heartwarming moment there.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 19:45, closed)
He's a lucky man...
...to have such a lovely daughter. Have a click (wipes eyes dry)
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 20:07, closed)
A truly heart-warming story for our times
well done, you, and good luck with everything *clicks*
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 20:17, closed)
must be some grit in my eye
I've got a lump in my throat now from reading that!

Congrats on:
1. Your b3ya birthday
2. Forthcoming nuptials
3. Being so well adjusted in the circumstances

(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 20:30, closed)
but my name ain't Ed.

Good luck with everything. You deserve all the happiness you can get.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 21:25, closed)
by reading this you've made my shit day a lot better

thank you
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 21:00, closed)
I think I'd have a tissue tucked up my sleeve if I were you.

Enjoy your day. It WILL be special.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 22:05, closed)
An amazing story...
You are a hero, most touching story I've read on b3ta.

Well done to you for being a great person! And congratulations on the upcoming marriage.
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 22:43, closed)
* something in eye *
* clicks and clicks *
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 22:44, closed)
I've just got back from another days work in the heartless smoke
and this made me tear a little bit due to reading how lovely you are whilst listening to explosions in the sky. Have an amazing wedding, you sound like you definitely deserve it.x
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 23:06, closed)
just before my cousins wedding day
my uncle was chopping branches down in the garden so they didn't fall on people's tents (she had a Glastonbury festival-type thing for her wedding!) when he fell from a great height and broke every bone in his left leg, plus some others - slowly he got better and with plenty of meccano in his leg and my grandad's walking stick he just managed to walk down the aisle with her - that was great
(, Thu 30 Apr 2009, 23:23, closed)
You'll make your Dad proud
on your wedding day.

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 1:59, closed)
You are lovely
and deserve every happiness. I bet more than a few of us on here wonder whether we would find the strength and patience to do likewise in your situation.

Best of luck for the wedding.
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 7:56, closed)
^What they all said^...
...far more eloquently than I can manage. Congratulations and good luck for the upcoming wedding, too.

(, Fri 1 May 2009, 8:30, closed)
...in my eyes...
(, Fri 1 May 2009, 13:11, closed)
Beautifully written
and deserves the win.

But let's not deny, you fancided a scooter for yourself, didn't you?!
(, Sat 2 May 2009, 1:41, closed)
Nicely said.
Those scooters are ace. My grandfather had the first in a series of huge strokes in about 1988, and got one shortly after he came out of hospital: having been a policeman, he couldn't take being kept at home, so as soon as he trusted himself to get out of the house, that's what he did.

He lived another 10 years after that, and spent a large proportion of them tootling around the place on errands or, frankly, just for the hell of it. 'Cos there's no point being alive if you don't have a life. The scooter was responsible for maintaining much of his.

That's no small achievement for a scooter.
(, Sun 3 May 2009, 12:06, closed)
Really? That's brilliant news.
Dad's been a bit down, stuck in the house, can't go out without me really, once a week to the garden centre/supermarket, and even then only if he's able. Since I mentioned the scooter he's been far more positive and has designs on the seaside no less! I'm really excited for him :)

Thanks for the comments guys :)
(, Sun 3 May 2009, 22:30, closed)
you know, i'd love to see a post from a MAN about them taking such good care of a parent. not that i think men are incapable--but i'd like to see it. c'mon male b3tans, cough up!
(, Tue 5 May 2009, 3:18, closed)
Tha's luffly tha is!
Good on you for being so strong and supportive. As others have said, I'm not sure I'd have the balls or the energy to do the same.
(, Tue 5 May 2009, 8:34, closed)

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