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This is a question God

Tell us your stories of churches and religion (or lack thereof). Let the smiting begin!

Question suggested by Supersonic Electronic

(, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 15:00)
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this weeks qotw
i was with a couple i know in london (red a huge irish guy) hes about 7 foot tall and has black hair to his knees and (lexi his missus) an american he met while in japan (their in a band together)and we were sat on a park bench chatting away minding our business when two of these idiot preachers walked up to us and started barking about jesus now bare in mind red and lexi are both very atheist (as am i) so they both stand up and start doing grindcore vocals with me drumming on the bench like a mad bastard. red and lexi being in a band they have both experience and very powerful lungs so they can make a good racket after about 40 seconds of this the preachers turn kinda white and ran the other way and we even got a cheer from a group of goths standing not far away good day that.

secondly i was at my mates with my ex Jasmine we were all quite stoned at this point and then comes the dreaded knock at the door two pricks in red suits clutching some sort of word of god so i answered the door and they must of smelled the ganj cus they started on about the evils of smoking and drugs (well it was before 4:20) so i just started laughing they didnt really like that so i said "stop trying to peddle your prurient filth to a bunch of militant atheists who are lightly to get angry very soon now fuck off and let us smoke you pair of useless bastards" just then with epic timing funeralopolis by electric wizard kicked into the heavy bit and Jasmine grabs me from behind ive got time to shut the door before i was dragged back to the sofa.
(, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:01, 8 replies)
Um
You see that little dot two keys to the right of the letter 'M'? May is uggest you use it? A few caps wouldn't go amiss either.

*Waits for others to destroy this post*
(, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:05, closed)
Not so bad...
An amusing post despite the lack of caps!
(, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:20, closed)
Unless I can't actually understand the post,
I don't really get annoyed about punctuation etc...

now for a /blog bit

When I was in primary school, I was often the last finished my work and as a result tubeboy (aged 6) was placed in a remedial class after luch for an hour so. Mrs. Byrne was lovely but, even at 6, i wondered why she treated me like a simpleton, giving detailed explanations as to why Mr. Capital Letter went at the start of sentences and so forth. I eventually got sick of the class and dutifully lined up with the rest of my class at the end of lunch and nothing was said of it. However, one memory I have from Mrs. Byrne's class is of a boy who didn't use spaces when writing instead he used a crayon to draw a line to seperate words (something like this: |).I lived beside this boy and hung around with him a bit in primary school and he was by no means stupid...

Anyways, back in 'smart' class, I simply upped the ante with respect to my writing speed and got my work done much to the detriment of my handwriting. Not to blow my own trumpet or anything, but I was always in the smarter half of my class and have primary school reports going back years to prove this however the only poor/fair marks I ever got were for handwriting (which warrants a place on a school report for under 12s apparently).

The teacher who put me in that class is sort of a family friend and I see her occasionally and she is always nice and smiley and pleasant; something which makes me seethe. I am surprisingly bitter and resentful towards this woman for putting me in the retard class (I don't even know if my parents were consulted as they have never mentioned it and as nothing was said/done when I stopped attending it).

Any ways, the reason i posted that delightful ingight into my formative years was that I want you to understand why I applaud your not getting caught up on the OPs grammatical mistakes and remembering to praise the story. Too many people play the "MY EYES!!!!!11!!!oneone11!!!eleventy" card when faced with poor grammar on the internet. Fuck them I say! Respect mate and good tale OP

/edit and fuck The Reaper
(, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:42, closed)
Similar situation here,
long story short - I too can only write legibly if I do it really slowly and so collected many spankings as a lass.

Fast-forward 30-odd years: as a mature student at university, I was diagnosed with dyspraxia and laden with free goodies including a laptop and various recording gadgets.

Life, eh.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 8:30, closed)
My case is not that serious...
I remember once in secondary school, I asked for extra paper during a class test but none was to hand. I was told to use the chicken with the smaller feet. ;-)

I would love a free laptop and gadgets though... Life, eh?
(, Sat 21 Mar 2009, 1:11, closed)
"stop trying to peddle your prurient filth to a bunch of militant atheists who are lightly to get angry very soon now fuck off and let us smoke you pair of useless bastards"
likely... but i'll forgive it as it's a direct quote from when you were stoned.

This is meant as a purely light-hearted comment. (See above)
(, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:21, closed)
Grindcore?
I hope you don't mean shitty pseudo-pigsqueal shit.
(, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 22:38, closed)
I hope he means
Turbogrindcore.

Otherwise it's just not cool.
(, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 10:46, closed)

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