I'm a Catholic.
In practice I'm an atheist, but according to the rules once you're in you're in, and therefore unless I manage to get myself excommunicated I shall be considered a Catholic until the day I die.

While I'm an atheist, I'm not militant. I'm happy for anyone to hold their own beliefs, as long as they can be reasonable about them. I don't feel the need to screech passages of Dawkins at anyone with the temerity to be openly religious within my field of vision. In short, believe what you want as long as you're not a dick about it.

Some of my friends feel differently though, and this is why being a technical Catholic can occasionally be brilliant - because, in circumstances where I feel someone is in imminent danger of death (Oh no, I thought you were going to step out in front of that car! Whoops, I thought you were choking! etc), I'm allowed to perform an emergency baptism.

There are few things funnier than the look on an aggresive atheist's face when you inform them that not only have you poured water over their head when they weren't expecting it, but that as a result they are now Catholic.

Forever.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 14:41, 15 replies)

So it's kinda like AIDS?
No going back, and you can get it as a result of a moment of carelessness?
( Cawl, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 14:51, closed)

Pretty much, yeah.
I'm wondering if I can get away classing "being in a car that I'm driving" as "being in imminent danger of death".

I suppose if I factor in the likelihood of a post-baptism punching, it's fairly plausible.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 15:01, closed)

Fucker!
I'm already baptised though, but the "other way".
( Cawl, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 15:02, closed)

Do it!
I'll risk becoming Catholic if I get to see you punched in the head, Wookers.
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 15:04, closed)

With the "Rod of Jesus"?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 15:35, closed)

No wonder he looks so wild-eyed and angry

( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 16:31, closed)

I'M NOT ANGRY.
Shut up.
( Cawl, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 16:40, closed)

Were you anointed
with the salty communion paste?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 16:50, closed)

This is what I don't understand when the news says 'there are a billion catholics'
Who the fuck counted them?
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 14:55, closed)

god

(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 18:48, closed)

i had a good hard laugh at this
funny and informative
( spacefish bong!, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 15:02, closed)

I already assumed you could do this as you are a deacon.
RIP Joey, you loveable old spaz.
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 15:03, closed)

BLERTH YER MAH CHERLD.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 16:03, closed)

If i ever see you anywhere near me with water
I'm going to punch first and ask questions later, fair warning for future bashes fella!
(bill, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 19:45, closed)

The antidote would be
a debaptism.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 21 Mar 2009, 13:52, closed)