My current OCD obsession is drying the worktop.
We got a new kitchen put in recently. It was a lengthy and soul-destroying job involving extensive building work, a month and a half without a cooker, sink or washing machine, and twice the original budget. Due to necessary cost-cutting we opted for wooden worktops - Ikea oak ones. These need to be oiled with special (i.e. expensive) oil - first with three or four coats to seal them, then every week or two for the first couple of months, then every six months. If you don't oil them then standing water stains the wood, hot things leave marks, and woe betide if you set something cast iron on them - they'll turn black.

I took it upon myself to be chief-stainer. I have lovingly sanded, dusted and rubbed oil into that wood grain on a regular basis over the past two months. The flipside is that every single time I put something on the worktop I immediately have to check that it's not wet, hot or anything else desirable. I can't sleep at night if I haven't made sure every last potentially oak-damaging crumb has been cleaned away.

Advice to all of you seeking kitchen guidance: fork out for granite and sleep unburdened. I am a sad fucker who dreams of the wrong kind of wood.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:05, 17 replies)

...are you my mum?
She's new-worksurface-mental at the moment as well. Not being allowed to use any of the flat surfaces in the kitchen kind of defeats the point of having flat surfaces, I feel.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:16, closed)

So true. I need to MTFU and just get over it.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:18, closed)

You know what an induction cooker is?
The surface is basically a huge sheet of heat toughened glass. It works by magnetism, or possibly magic. Ours is set into the new wooden worktops.

A wek or three back, mother dearest was polishing the wooden worktops with such intensity that she cracked the glass. I don't know how.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:23, closed)

Or throw away the Ikea oil
and just buy Danish oil from B&Q. It looks the same but is cheaper and more waterproof. That's what I did to my Ikea oak worktop and it's fine.

I wouldn't put a hot pan down on any worktop, to be honest. Laminate lifts and granite explodes, and those are both more critical than a burn mark
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:16, closed)

I'm not even using Ikea oil as I heard it was shite.
I have some Rustins worktop oil and it is pretty good.

Edit: I am that sad that I even researched what oils to use.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:18, closed)

Its not sad
I guess it cost a fortune and you don't want to fuck it up.

Keep on doing what you are doing.
(waxdart hello., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:28, closed)

I'd still consider Danish oil
Worktop oil is generally designed for beech and birch, innit? Mate of mine is a bespoke furniture maker, he reckoned Danish pisses on everything else as it works more like a wax. Or something. I dunno. Anyway, I used to get pressure ring marks and now I don't, and water and cast iron isn't a problem. Hot still is, but since it is for all worktops, who cares? just stick some metal bars on it somewhere. Ikea sell a pack of 4 metal bars for about £8 for this exact purpose. Cheaper than multiplying the price by 10 for granite. And then chipping it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:30, closed)

Hmm, I was told Danish oil isn't as suitable for surfaces used for food prep
because of drying agents or something.

This may translate to "please buy our more expensive niche oil".
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:33, closed)

yeah, the solvents are poisonous.
But then I wouldn't recommend drinking worktop oil, either, though ;)

The solvents evaporate. I wouldn't prepare salad on it until it's dry ... Well, I wouldn't prepare salad on it at all, as salad isn't food, it's what food eats, but that's by the by. Once it's dry it should be fine. Well, I'm not dead. Yet.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:43, closed)

And niche oil?
Is that the sort of oil that gazes also into you?

disclaimer. I may have used a variant of this joke before.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:44, closed)

I have heard that you should use standard food grade mineral oil available relatively cheaply
if you will prepare food on the counters.

In our house we have some really old (1930's) maple counters in the kitchen and pantry which over the years never had any special treatment and have developed a really nice "antique" look to them.

Of course you may not want to 50-60 years before you get a nice finish.

Eventually there is going to be a mark you will not be able to correct after which you won't give a shit. I would suggest you go ahead and mark it up as soon as possible so you no longer have to worry about it.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 20:38, closed)

Correct
Plain pharmaceutical-grade mineral oil is just perfect for oiling worktops. I'm really not sure why all those other expensive ones are sold, other than to make money. There's no additives or preservatives, and it's safe for contact with food, as well as being relatively biologically inert (read: bacteria won't use it as a substrate). Thus, it's pretty happy in the kitchen.
(ohnonotagain It's worse than you thought. I'm Canadian., Fri 2 Jul 2010, 5:49, closed)

But fulfillment awaits you.
The day will come when you'll look at the worktop, put down the Rustins, and say 'Fuckit; it doesn't matter'.
From then on the worktop will be a thing of beauty to you.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:30, closed)

Did you know you;d have to do this before you bought them?
Not criticising your choice, but being a bit of a lazy bastard I would have bought a big tin of yacht varnish and painted the buggers with that.

Sounds like WAY too much work to me!
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:41, closed)

They do look flippin' gorgeous though.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 13:49, closed)

Stuff of nightmares
My last rented flat came furnished with brand new, wooden worksurfaces. They lasted, what, a week max before me and my flatmate had pretty much trashed them. And we were careful - it's actually impossible to keep them stain/burn/mark free. And they are the devil's own arse to keep clean.

Anyway, when we came to check out, the landlady took one look and said "don't worry, that always happens; I'll get some new ones for the next tenants."
( daikoku has been on a ragga tip since, Thu 1 Jul 2010, 16:24, closed)

Y'know what I'd do?
I'd fuck the fuck out of the worktops. That way, they'd be nicely fucked, and I would have to fuck about to stop them getting fucked up. They'd probably look nicer fucked.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sun 4 Jul 2010, 13:22, closed)