b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Helicopter Parents » Post 518372 | Search
This is a question Helicopter Parents

Back when young ScaryDuck worked in the Dole office rather than simply queuing in it, he had to deal with a claimant brought in by his mum. She did all the talking. He was 40 years old.

Have you had to deal with over-protective parents? Get your Dad to tell us all about it.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:13)
Pages: Popular, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

« Go Back

Get your priorities right...
Walking down the street one day, on a main road in a quiet little town, a toddler toddles by out of the lane in front of me going at an impressive lick for such a young lad... straight out onto the main road.

So I skip out and take him by the hand.

'Hello Mate! Where did you come from, eh?'

I lead him back up the road he came from, and spot a house with a slide and toys in the front garden, with the gate wide open. So we toddle up to the door and I give a knock.

Some foul harridan in a tracksuit opens the door and looks quizzically at us for a second.

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BABY?!?'
'He'd got out of the garden and was on the main road - so I've brought him back. It looks like he managed to open the gate, clever lad.'
'WHAT THE FUCK'S IT GOT TO DO WITH YOU WHERE HE GOES!!!! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY BABY AND GET OUT OF MY FUCKING GARDEN!!!! MARK!! MARK!!! COME HERE AND TELL THIS FUCKING PAEDO TO FUCK OFF!!!'
'OK, I'm going - but you want to get that gate sorted out.'

I was fairly calm though the whole thing, because I just thought - people are protective about their kids, you know? Of course they get a bit emotional...

And then I thought about it as I wandered into town - hang on a minute... you leave your kid in the front garden, you don't care that he goes walkabout on the main road... and you're scared of the Paedos? Get your priorities right - he's in much more danger from having a shit mum like you who's going to leave him to his own devices on the street than he is from the scary paedos... daft bint.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 17:26, 22 replies)
Happens to me a fair bit too, that does.
Being a liberal-minded individual with a love and respect for peace and love and all that bollocks, I feel that giving the parents a good swift kicking would sort the problem out pretty damn quickly.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 17:29, closed)
Sarah Payne?
Sounds just like her mother
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 17:47, closed)
You mean Little Sarah Payne.
All murdered children have the prefix 'Little' in front of their name.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 19:04, closed)
And getting
Littler all the time due to decomposition, maggots, and her mother feeding off her dead body
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 20:09, closed)
Personally if i were a perv..
I'd be leading the kid in any direction but towards the front door.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 18:37, closed)
Some people don't deserve kids ...
As the parent of a toddler, I'd be damn glad if someone brought him back if he escaped ... good on you!
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 19:38, closed)
It really
enforces the argument for breeding licenses.
Good on you though for looking out for the little one.
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 22:03, closed)
Oh man
don't get me started on breeding licences

if I was in charge they'd cost £10,000 for a start
(, Fri 11 Sep 2009, 15:57, closed)
You just know......
....that the government would come out with some form of fucking grant for the benefit class though.
(, Fri 11 Sep 2009, 16:22, closed)
Yes,
because making people pay all that money will really help the child. It's not like kids need clothes and food and things like that.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 19:05, closed)
What you do is...
The license costs wedges of cash, but in return you get your kiddy license ration book that allows you to wander in to mothercare, sainsbury's etc and pick up kiddy things at a vast discount.

Thus ensuring that you can't just spend the money on fags.
(, Thu 17 Sep 2009, 13:44, closed)
Poor kid. ):
(Not because you found him - that was a very good thing!)
(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 22:59, closed)
This is crazy
It's this kind of ridiculous response from a shitty parent that is more likely to lead to kids getting abducted or run over. Her attitude is what leads to people to not doing anything when they really should take action.

Good on you mate, you did the right thing. Don't feel bad just because she is a shit parent.
(, Fri 11 Sep 2009, 10:11, closed)
Jesus christ
I don't care how over emotional and protective she thinks she was being, I would have shouted her down til she realised her son could have been run over. That's just fucking stupid - and if you were a paedo why would you have brought him HOME?!?
(, Fri 11 Sep 2009, 11:58, closed)
Two thoughts...
"If I hadn't caught your son, he would now be dead, so less of the shouting at me perhaps."

And then off to find a phone to call child protection...
(, Fri 11 Sep 2009, 12:58, closed)
All I read was
'I'm a dangerous pædo'
(, Fri 11 Sep 2009, 13:26, closed)
You should have fucked him anyway
just to teach her a lesson
(, Fri 11 Sep 2009, 15:58, closed)
Hahahahaha!

(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 11:04, closed)
Funny
I was thinking the exact same thing after reading the original post. Some people should be sterilised or, better yet, castrated. What scares me is that there's nothing stopping this woman from having more sprogs...*shudders*
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 15:18, closed)
It's worth remembering that
She can vote.
*despairs*
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 13:57, closed)
We know she can.
But I bet she never has, nor will.
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 23:01, closed)
Pehaps..
in these situations the little one could be dropped off at the police station instead.
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 14:33, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Popular, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1