Because when I'm on the job
at the point of no return instead of saying 'Oh, Jesus!' or 'Oh, God!' I scream: 'Oh, Beelzebub and all your festering minions...' Then I make my best sex face and collapse.

Ok, maybe I dont.

(Though I did say 'Bombs away', once, much to my shame). And another time I said: 'Armed and ready', as we were about to get it on. Thought it would be sexy. It was not sexy.
( SpankyHanky, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:31, 16 replies)

Now that would be hilarious.
Might spoil the mood though but it would crack me up.

I once barked like a dog mid coitus because I thought it was funny.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:33, closed)

My favourite cum cry is
"Zulus.. fucking Zulus"
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:38, closed)

You should try
lock 'n' load. See what happens.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:44, closed)

Pikachu! I choose you!
Guaranteed slap.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:11, closed)

From personal experience...
... I can recommend against saying "Back of the net" in your best Alan Partridge voice at the point of release.
(Avalanche - Purveyor of sexual deviancy since 1976, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:34, closed)

"I'm coming in your hot snatch"
is guaranteed to make you both collapse with laughter.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 17:35, closed)

And..
FIRE IN THE DISCO! hard to remember, but fuck me, funny!
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:25, closed)

My personal favourite
'That'll do, pig.' In my best James Cromwell voice.

Oh yes.
(Ellinikos contains a source of phenylalanine, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 18:32, closed)

chortle
Mr. Dub says you can't beat that for sudden searing death.

Of course, he once shouted our infant daughter's name into my shell-like. I was pissed off and no sexy-tiem for a month. Too creepy. I can't tease him about it because he is still mortified 17 years later.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 22:59, closed)

On the contrary...
Surprisingly, this went down a lot better than getting some of my post-erotic effluvium on my thumb, wiping it across her forehead and proclaiming (in my deepest Rafiki voice), 'SIMBA...'.
(Ellinikos contains a source of phenylalanine, Sun 14 Dec 2008, 1:38, closed)

my best...
GO GO POWER RANGERS!!
(alpha doesn't have a witty phrase to write here, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:22, closed)

Ha
The first time the now-spouse and I had a little naked time, the spouse, well known for opening his mouth before engaging his brain, declared it 'Righteous!'. I still tease him almost a decade later.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 0:25, closed)

Mine
GO GO GADGET PORRIDGE GUN

(actually did this once - didn't go down well)
(Mandrill, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 2:12, closed)

Torpedos awayyyyyyyyy!

(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 9:52, closed)

He shoots, he scores.

Oh yes.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 12:04, closed)

Dear Kite
shouldn't it be "he scores, he shoots"?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sat 13 Dec 2008, 22:59, closed)